Someone Stole The Spirit - Episode 23

Chicago Spa - Relex and Recover.

Illuminated letters in thick warm steam.

"Back in Chicago?" the llama asks.

"I don't know", I say, "but this is a very narrow space."

It is not warm in here. It is hot. And you can hardly see anything because the narrow room is filled with wet and herb flavoured steam.

There is Anthony, the Christmas Elf, and right next to him the tall and thin dude Anthony called the man in black or Joe Darque or the Dark Eater.

"Gentlemen!"

A deep and friendly voice comes from out of the steam and from the other side of the wood-clad room.

"What are you all doing in here, all dressed up like that?"

I take a look down at my body. I almost forgot that I am only wearing my slippers and pyjamas on this crazy journey of ours.

'And I am not a gentleman', I can hear the llama think.

"What is wrong with our dresses?" the animal asks. Is it aware that it isn't wearing any clothes?

"Oh", the friendly voice is laughing now. "You are all a little over-dressed for Chicago's only nude steam bath, you know."

WHAAAT?

This time the WHAAAT? is not meant to be a cliff-hanger.

"Sorry, Santa", says the man in black who does not want to be the man in black. "I think I kind of miscalculated the pathway this time. I intended to land in front of the steam bath, not inside. But I have your coat and trousers and hat here with me, fresh from the dry cleaners, just as you told me."

"I beg your pardon?" says Anthony, the elf.

"I told you, I was not the antagonist in this story, Prot", says the man in black, obviously not the antagonist in this story. "Santa needed a few days off before the Christmas madness begins. And so I took him here to Chicago, Illinois, to the world's most famous place for relaxation and recovery, the Chicago Spa."

"You read that in some cheap ad, you antagonist, you", Anthony grumbles. Suddenly his ears do not look all that pointed any longer.

"Gentlemen, please", Santa Claus says.

Suddenly the steam does not look all that thick any longer. I can see a big pinkish body starting to shine through. And I really do not want to see more or the rest of it.

"Give me a few minutes and some time to dress myself. And meet me at the shores of Lake Michigan later today", the friendly old voice says slightly shuggeling with laughter. "And you two, Prot and Ant. Be prepared!"

"Prot and Ant?" I ask Anthony outside the spa on our way to the shore of the lake.

"Do not ask", the elf who does not look like an elf at the moment says. "It is a long story."

"Indeed", adds the former man in black.

"Is that snow?" the llama asks as we reach a kind of beach with a great view over the lake and the skyline of Chicago.

"No, it is sand", says the man behind us in his deep and friendly voice. He now looks like we all know him. Not naked and pinkish anymore. Long white hair and beard and friendly eyes. Shiny black boots, trousers and coat made of red velvet with white cuffs and collar, a black belt around the big belly and a red cap with white edge and a white pompom at the pointy end.

"That was a good break", Santa Claus says. "I really needed that. Long sleeps. Some swimming. Massages and steam baths. Now, Christmas can come. You know that the children of the earth do not all get their presents from me only on Christmas Eve, don't you? The whole thing continues until the 6th of January in some places of the world. These are going to be some very busy weeks like always. But now I am prepared, thanks to my friend Ant here."

"Me?" Anthony asks. "Ant as in Anthony?"

"No", the old man laughs, "not this time, Anthony. You are always helpful, too, but right now I am talking about this fellow here, Ant as in antagonist."

And he grabs them both rubbing his fists gently in the hair on their heads.

"So this wasn't a kidnapping at all?" the llama asks. "Everything is fine now?"

"Yes", I say. "And for this you took us out of our beds, Anthony? And where are the missing reindeers, you mentioned earlier? Did they have some spa time, too? With grooming their fur and waxing their hooves or something like that?"

Santa Claus does not stop his drum-beat laughter.

"I bet you do not see this bit coming. Prot and Ant, it is time. Stand still."

"Oh, must we, Mister Santa?" the two of them ask, "The same procedure as last year, Mister Santa?"

"The same procedure as every year, Prot and Ant", Santa answers. "Or as a wise being once said, we all have our baggage to carry. We all have our parts to play."

He is shaking his head making the pompon at the end of his pointy cap rotate around his head.

I can hear the sound of very high and distant bells ringing. And sand falls from the sky like glittering dust right were the protagonist and the antagonist stand. But what is this? Does the sand turn into snow? Big white flakes are sailing to the ground on the beach. And right were the protagonist, formerly known as Anthony, the elf, and the antagonist, formerly not wanted to be known as the man in black, stood are standing two reindeers now. One - I think this used to be Anthony - is wearing a white and green striped scarf and the other one a tail cap with white and red stripes.

"They have been my reindeers all along", Santa Claus proclaims in a solemn voice laying his arms around their shoulders. "Come now, my dear friends", he says sitting down with them on both sides on the shore of Lake Michigan his hands still on their shoulders. "Let's enjoy our last evening before the whole Christmas madness starts tomorrow."

The reindeer with the green and white scarf turns around to llama and me and gives us the wink of an eye.

"Use the porthole", the reindeer formerly known as Anthony, the elf, says, "right behind you."

Than it turns around again to watch the sky above Lake Michigan. The snow is falling. A golden shooting star is passing by. And the three of them - Santa and his two reindeers - are looking at the following writing that appears like a firework in front of them.

Merry Christmas
and a happy new Year!

BING!

🎄🎄🎄🎄🕯🎅🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🕯🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🕯🎄🎄🎄🎄

"Bromford"

You taste of potato chips in the morning
Your face has the Marlon Brando club calling

And who would have thought that I'd owe it all to Bromford?
And that fat guy with the green shirt
That we both signed together
Once he hears this song, won't live it down forever

Your suit was the whitest thing since you know who
I fear that that savior I mentioned may be you

And who would have thought that I'd owe it all to Bromford?
And that poor girl who waited in the rain
For hours to meet me, not you, baby
Once she hears that song, won't live it down completely

And I owe it all to Bromford, Oklahoma
This is just a reminder of the antique shop
That I wanna go back to and visit when it's open
In Bromford, Oklahoma, just in case
You don't appreciate this song about you