Bromford and Rhino …

 

»Did you know that rhinos are originally from central Europe? «

»Says who, animal? «

»I may have heard or read that in one of those animal documentaries you get everywhere these days. «

»Are you making fun of that fantastic and realistic nature doc in this blockblog of mine from last Saturday? You are disrespectful towarsa all gnus, lionesses, meerkats and warthogs involved in that story, animal. So disrespectful. «

»A million years ago the mighty rhinos lived on the banks of the river Rhine near the city of Rheinberg. Their horns and skins were made of rhinestone and they settled all over the federal state of Rheinland Quartz, before a rhyming rhinovirus forced them to go south. «

»Don't be ridiculous, animal. First of all they are called rhinoceroses… «

»And second? Are they all mutants like the one in your picture? «

»What do you mean by mutants, animal? «

»Mutants like Wolverine, Sabretooth, the Lizard or Beast. Or do all rhinos have three horns and two eyes on one side of the head? «

»I have never thought about that, animal. Never thought about it. «

»This world needs more rhinestones, if you want my opinion… «

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Today is Tuesday, the 12th of May, 2026.

Bromford and Crocodile …

 

»See you later alligator, … «

»… after 'while crocodile? Come on, dude. Is that all you can think of after you have taken pictures with crocodiles? «

»Come on… yourself, animal.  That's all thinking of you will get for this muddy Monday … «

»You mean moody Monday? «

»Whatever. «

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Today is Monday, the 11th of May 2026.

Bromford and Gnu …

 

It is early morning in the savannah. A single old male gnu steps out of the dry grass towards the waterhole without noticing the hunting pride of three lionesses. Every step closer to the water also brings the hidden huntresses closer. Watch out, Gnu! They are stalking you!

On the other side of the waterhole, a meerkat and a warthog are looking up, turning their heads from side to side. Something is wrong! They lower their breakfast made of slimy worms and crunchy beetles which tastes a bit like chicken. Slowly, they back into the tall grass to hide.

Just to return with a theatrical jump, waving jazz-hands, and bursting into song:

🎵 Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase
Hakuna matata, ain't no passin' craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna matata 🎵

☣ ☣ ☣

»And in the jungle, the lion sleeps tonight? «

The llama is interrupting my early morning train of thoughts.

»Spoilsport, « I mumble.

»And what is wrong with that gnu in the picture, dude? Who is the man? Who is the gnu? Which is which? And who is who?«

»Maybe it is a were-gnu, a man by day and a gnu in the pale moonlight. One morning a gnu got bitten by a man, or a man got bitten by a gnu one night, all by the waterhole in the savannah. And now they are cursed to turn into eachother every now and than. «

»You are talking a lot of shit, dude! Gnu-shit! «

»Animal! Watch you mouth! Or we will have to wash it with soap.«

»Ah, bite me! « the animal remarks and walks out on the rooftop terrace.

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Today is Saturday, the 9th of May 2026.