Bromford and Lion …

 

»Ion like a lion in Zion. «

Is the llama singing?

»The circle of life… It's the wheel of fortune… «

»Stop singing, animal. And it is Iron, Like A Lion, In Zion. Not Ion. «

»Why should a lion iron something? They don't like their shirts flat. They don't even wear shirts most of time. Or any other clothes. Am I nervous? Do you ask me if I am nervous, dude? The answer is, YES! Do I think a lion in a penthouse is a good idea? The answer is definitely, NO! «

»The song goes, I'm gonna be Iron, like a Lion, in Zion, « I think.

But I feel like we had this discussion before.

»In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
the lion sleeps tonight? «

The llama is jumping up and down on the couch and is making all feathers squeak.

»I am sorry, pal, « I turn to the lion who is standing in the door to the livingroom. »I think, it will not work out with us. «

»No worries, dude, « the big cat is grinning brightly. »Hakuna matata, as we say down by the waterhole. If the glove does not fit… «

And on bouncing feet he leaves the apartment.

The llama is now running around the couch in a strange and only kind of understandable panic.

Why again did I have this feeling, the animal had become the straight and serious part in this relationship of us?

And I blame it on the weather that the llama is starting a weird and donkey-like hooting now.

»Wee-hee-hee-hee, dee hee-hee-hee-hee
Wee-oh aweem away
Wee-hee-hee-hee, dee hee-hee-hee-hee
Wee-oh aweem away

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh «

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Today is Saturday, the 13th of June 2026.

Bromford and Parrot …

 

»I am running out of options, animal, « I say.

The llama is adjusting its earplugs.

»YOU HAVE TO TALK LOUDER, DUDE! « the animal yells at me. »I CAN HARDLY UNDERSTAND YOU. «

I shout back, »I AM RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS, ANIMAL. CANDIDATES FOR MY NEXT BEST ANIMAL COMPANION AND DATES ARE GETTING FEWER. MAYBE I SHOULD START LOOKING FOR MORE CONVENTIONAL PETS! «

»LIKE A PARROT, FOR EXAMPLE, DUDE? «

»Like a parrot, « I whisper to myself.

»POLLY WANTS A CRACKER !!! « 

the parrot squeels.

I look at the llama. The llama looks at me. I simply nod in agreement.

The llama opens the glassdoor to the roof terrace.

»FLY, YOU FOOL! « the animal shouts at the parrot. »SEEK FREEDOM! «

The parrot squeels a last long and loud squeel. Then the bold birds takes off into the air towards Bromford Bay.

The llama takes out the earplugs.

»That was loud, « the animal says. »And I never liked that Nirvana song, anyway. «

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Today is Thursday, the 11th of June 2026.

Bromford and Beaver …

 

# You are no beaver, Bromford Bibble. You are no magician, no wizard. And definitely no animagus who went to school with Harry Potter.

- Are you a llama, llama?

# I do not understand your question, dude.

- Llamas do not use human language. Llamas do not talk to humans. But maybe I am a special type of wizard. I am a llamatongue. Very rare. I can talk to and understand llamas. Just look at this cute little guy. You simply have to love this beaver.

# Another rodent?

- Once, in the year twenty-ten, there were Olympic Winter Games in Canada. And in the opening ceremony the Canadians released the Canadian equivalents of white Peace Doves. They let hundreds of beavers fly. And the beavers ate the wooden tribunes in the stadium, the grandstands and bleachers.

# Now, you are talking about an episode of The Simpsons TV show, dude.

- TV is dead, animal. Although The Simpsons are visionaries, or they were visionaries. So you don't think a beaver is a good animal companion?

# Not in a penthouse above the fifteenth floor of an apartment building on 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford, the friendly town by the bay and seaside.

- What about our plan to turn the sky above the skyscrapers into one giant aquarium? What about the Age of Aquarium?

# That was always your plan alone, dude.

- Magic has somehow lost its Hogwarts, llama. The Wizarding World has lost its innocence. And I have lost my animagus ability to turn into a beaver when I stopped practicing. And where is my wand?

# I don't know, dude. I don't know. But your beaver friend is eating our furniture.

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Today is Tuesday, the 9th of June 2026.