»Is your razor broken, dude? « asks the llama.
»I prefer to call it my shaver, animal, « I reply, »and it is not broken. This three-day stubble is my new look. «
»I know your shaving routines, dude, « says the llama, »that is more like a three-week stubble in your face. And your hair hasn't seen the hairdressers in a long time, either. «
»Same, same. «
»And are you wearing fur balls now? Didn't PETA teach you anything? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Does it ring a bell? All these nude and shaved people and celebrities on the posters in the "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign in the 1990s? Was all their shivering in vain? Dude, I was about to found a new organization. AETP - Animals for the Ethical Treatment of People. And after all of these activists days you are standing here in your apartment wearing that strange blue sweater with brown fur pompoms sewn on some very weird places? «
»They are no pompoms and they are not sewn, animal, « I say calmly.
»Dude? « The animal is shocked. »Are they moving? ARE THEY ALIVE? «
»They are the next candidates for becoming my new animal companions, « I say. »We just need to talk about and work on their reproduction rate, I think. There was only one of them only half an hour ago. «
»What are they? « asks the llama. »Guinea pigs? «
»No, animal, they are Tribbles. Alien life forms on some kind of a Star Trek in space and on a mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before! Like Earth, for example. And they are too cute and fluffy and fuzzy. Just hearing their sounds is making you feel calm and all relaxed. You just have to try it. «
All this time the brown fur balls had been softly cooinging, gently purring and started vibrating trillings. But as the llama approaches they are utting agitated squeals while shying away and trying to hide behind my back.
»What is wrong with you, animal? « I shout at the llama. »Why are you scaring them? Are you a Klingon? Leave! Go away! Tribbles hate Klingons. «
The llama is rolling its eyes.
»Beam me up, Scotty. There is no intelligent life on this planet. «
»I prefer to call it my shaver, animal, « I reply, »and it is not broken. This three-day stubble is my new look. «
»I know your shaving routines, dude, « says the llama, »that is more like a three-week stubble in your face. And your hair hasn't seen the hairdressers in a long time, either. «
»Same, same. «
»And are you wearing fur balls now? Didn't PETA teach you anything? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Does it ring a bell? All these nude and shaved people and celebrities on the posters in the "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign in the 1990s? Was all their shivering in vain? Dude, I was about to found a new organization. AETP - Animals for the Ethical Treatment of People. And after all of these activists days you are standing here in your apartment wearing that strange blue sweater with brown fur pompoms sewn on some very weird places? «
»They are no pompoms and they are not sewn, animal, « I say calmly.
»Dude? « The animal is shocked. »Are they moving? ARE THEY ALIVE? «
»They are the next candidates for becoming my new animal companions, « I say. »We just need to talk about and work on their reproduction rate, I think. There was only one of them only half an hour ago. «
»What are they? « asks the llama. »Guinea pigs? «
»No, animal, they are Tribbles. Alien life forms on some kind of a Star Trek in space and on a mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before! Like Earth, for example. And they are too cute and fluffy and fuzzy. Just hearing their sounds is making you feel calm and all relaxed. You just have to try it. «
All this time the brown fur balls had been softly cooinging, gently purring and started vibrating trillings. But as the llama approaches they are utting agitated squeals while shying away and trying to hide behind my back.
»What is wrong with you, animal? « I shout at the llama. »Why are you scaring them? Are you a Klingon? Leave! Go away! Tribbles hate Klingons. «
The llama is rolling its eyes.
»Beam me up, Scotty. There is no intelligent life on this planet. «
💯
Today is Monday, the 1st of June 2026.
