Tuesday, June 30, 2026

Strawberry Moon … / Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 463 & Part 464

 

Strawberry Moon

I'm so tired of being alone
These penitent walls are all I've known
The songbird calling
Across the water
Outside my silent asylum

Oh, don't leave me on my own
Left me standing all alone

So cut me down to size
So I can fit inside


🍓

Today is Tuesday, the 30th of June 2026.
Strawberry Moon

Twenty-Five is flying men's roads in a hot summer night.
Why are people so obsessed with everything?
Strawberry Moon in a Strawberry Field, which is not a cemetary in Liverpool.

🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌕
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🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕
🌕🌕

"25 Miles To Bromford"

Miami Beach, Ocean Drive,
it was the hottest afternoon of all my life.
She had a fast car, she was driving slow,
there was one thing, I needed to know:
"Where are you going to, what are you doin' with me?"
She said: "Relax! It's 25 miles to Bromford"
to Bromford, to Bromford...

"Touch me", she said "I can't do that",
I tried to say while she undressed me,
I feel so bad, but i feel glad
boom boom - sweet desire,
don't set my heart of fire.
Don't you hear me say "don't do it!"
Don't you hear me say...

"Touch me, right here", I said: "No my dear,
I am a good man - why don't you understand
that I'm not mad, we won't do that,
I've got a family - so please don't touch me."
Don't you hear me say: "don't do it!"
Don't you hear me say "don't do it!"
Don't you hear me say...

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me baby,
kiss me, kiss me, Bromford.
I don't need sentimental
MOONlight
as long as you are here with me.

Don't stop,
kiss me,
I feel dirty,
but I feel good,
baby you should
not leave this car.
I feel so wunderbar
what do you do to me -
baby touch me.
Don't you hear me say:
"do it!"

Don't you hear me say:
"do it!"

Don't you hear me say:
"do it!"

Don't you hear me say..
.















"Bromford"

The mountains are waiting
The full
MOON has come
I got lost on the highway
But don't ask me where I've been
Or what I've done

Oh, Lord, send me transmissions
Forgive me for what I've become
The Son has come to save me
Put a little love into my lonely soul
The Son has come to save me
Put a little love into my lonely soul

Oh don't you know why
I need her loving you
Float inside






 
 


Tuesday, June 23, 2026

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 461 & Part 462

 
Today is Tuesday, the 23rd of June 2026.

I want to tell you a story, said Twenty-Five, the little tawny owl, about a lonesome cowboy, a cowboy named Wayne, Jon Wayne.

We need more stories or tales about cows, said the thirty cows. But does it have to be a story about a boy cow? What about a dancing cow who finally becomes famous among hippos?

Oh, we know that one, the three mice interrupted, from the tv show of our cousin, the big orange Mouse. The cow's name was Gloria and she loved to dance and sing about violets blooming by the roadside.

Are you talking about The Mouse, the thirty-one grinning cats grinned, who is roomates with the little blue elefant and the yellow duck?

I want her name to be Kuhnigunde, one of the cows sighed.

And I want you to focus on me and my words, the tawny owl remarked. Or, 'You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.', as Friedrich Nietzsche once said.

Boring!, all the chicks moaned and started singing a song about voilets blooming by roadsides.

And twenty-three guide dogs joined the fifteen orangutons, the the seven gorillas, the thirty thirsty monkeys, the twenty-two dragons, the fourteen hens, the six unicorns, the twenty-eight horses, the twenty zebras, the twelve frogs, the four pandas, the twenty-seven koalas, the twenty bears, the nineteen hares, the eleven hamsters, the three mice, the twenty-three wild boars, the fifteen pigs, the thirty cows, the twenty-two raccoons, the fourteen foxes, the six giraffes, the twenty-nine tigers, the twenty-three lions, the fifteen face-cats, the seven wolves, the thirty dogs, the twenty-two face-monkeys, the fourteen speak-no-evil-monkeys, the six hear-no-evil-monkeys, the twenty-eight see-no-evil-monkeys, the twenty astro-cats, the twelve hipster-cats, the four dragon cats, the twenty-seven hacker cats, the nineteen stunt cats, the eleven ninja-cats, the three pouting cats, the twenty-six crying cats, the eighteen weary cats, the ten kissing cats, the two cats with wry smiles, the twenty-four smiling cats with heart-eyes, the sixteen cats with tears of joy, the eight grinning cats with smiling eyes, the thirty-one grinning cats, the twenty-three spiders, the fifteen scorpions, the seven ladybugs, the twenty-nine bees, the twenty-one ants, the thirty crickets, the twenty-two mosquitoes, the fourteen caterpillars, the six snails, the twenty-six butterflies, the eighteen bats, the ten more chicks, the two chicks, the twenty-five chicks, the seventeen penguins, the nine little red birds, and the one little tawny owl…

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮


"Bromford's Been Good To Me"

Bromford's been good to me
Let's hope it don't fall into, well, the Schuylkill
That's the river, always hard to spell
But it runs through my town and I ain't puttin' it down

Bromford's been good to me
Let's hope it don't fall into the Schuylkill River
That's the river that's polluted as hell
But it runs through my town and I ain't puttin' it down

Bromford's been good to me

Baltimore is just across the way
We start our tours there at the Ottobar 'cause it ain't that far away
The world's too big, freighters runnin' through bridges
But there's a Beach House down there
And that's where my siblings do reside
And well, I love the music they make
Sometimes it even makes me cry

Bromford's been good to me

L.A. was good to me when I was young
Maybe I'll come back for a spell, I could use one
Yet to be seen if that spell is a curse
Ain't got time for what's worse
But let's just hope that it rains

Bromford's been good to me
Let's hope it don't fall into, well, the Schuylkill
That's the river always hard to spell
But it runs through my town and I ain't puttin' it down






"Bromford Funeral"

Can you turn me up?
Hear me up in the headph- headph-
Nope

I went into a bar just the other night
Boy, I got into one hell of a fight
I think I might have broken my jaw
The very next morning, somebody stole my car
My wife left home 'bout a week ago
She stole the kids and she took all my dough
She peed on the carpet and she shot my horse
Now things have gone from better to bad to worse

Bromford and whiskey
Whiskey from Bromford
Bromford
Bromford whiskey

Oh, I went to daddy's funeral just the other day
It's just been three short days since he passed away
Seems he died from having too much to drink
That's how his truck ended up in the drink

Bromford and whiskey
Funerals and Bromford
Whiskey and funerals
Bromford and whiskey
Funerals
Bromford funerals




Sunday, June 21, 2026

Bon Été, Bon Été … / Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 459 & Part 460

 
Today is Sunday, the 21st of June 2026.
Bon Été, Bon Été …

Voilà l'été
Voilà l'été
Voilà l'été
Voilà l'été
Voilà l'été, j'aperçois le soleil…

I am an owl, thinks Twenty-Five, the little tawny owl. I don't like the sun. And I don't like summer. I am a bird of the night.

He opens his beak and turns his head towards the sun and lets the warm wind breath through his brown feathers.

Don't I like the sun? And don't I like summer?

☀☀☀☀☀☀☀
☀☀☀☀☀☀☀
☀☀☀☀☀☀☀


"Bromford"

Pray for who
Pretty please
Who knows what
Crowded, empty
Crowdsurfing all winter

Hand to hand, you surfed all SUMMER
Bloodstream sick with contraband
A perfect stranger's perfect

Hand to mouth all SUMMER
Hand to mouth all SUMMER
Hand to mouth all SUMMER

Today the country clerk of Orleans Parish dropped the call twice
Then coldcalled, "Baby, baby, your new adventure will be mind blowing
Mind blowing
Mind blowing"

Hand to hand all winter
Hand to hand all winter
Hand to hand all winter

Today the country clerk of Orleans Parish dropped the call twice
Then coldcalled, "Baby, baby, your new adventure will be mind blowing
Mind blowing
Mind blowing"

Hand to hand all winter.


"Bromford"

SUMMER was all we had
Wish that we'd been older
In my weaker times
You're still on my shoulder

My one time love
My injured blood
My songless bird
My sweet interred
I will never know

Dresser where I found
Papers of my father
Bromford my home
She was my first mother

I still look for light
This did not destroy me
I was given love
You can now rest sweetly




Friday, June 19, 2026

Bromford and Sphinx …

 

One of the biggest riddle in the whole history of mankind.

A sphinx is a mythical creature with the head of a woman, the haunches of a lion, and the wings of an eagle. 

She challenges those who encounter her to answer a riddle, and kills and eats them when they fail to solve the riddle. All of this accorsing to Greek tradition and Greek myth.

Whereas in Egyptian mythology, in contrast, the sphinx is typically depicted as a man, an androsphinx, and is seen as a benevolent representation of strength and ferocity, usually of a pharaoh. Unlike Greek or Levantine/Mesopotamian ones, Egyptian sphinxes are not winged.

Unfortunately, good old Oedipus encountered one of the first, the Greek versions and got himself killed and eaten for not being able to answer the Sphinx's final riddle, »What have I got in my pocket? «

🏜🏜🏜🏜🏜

The llama is reacting more puzzled than nervous.

»And you want a dangerous creature like that as your new animal companion, dude? Thank goodness and the whole Greek pantheon, this thing is not real. I've no competition to fear. «

»As I said, « I say, »I am running out of options. So, don't feel too save, animal. «

»What have you got in your pocket? «

»My hands, animal. Just my hands. «

❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕❕

Today is Friday, the 19th of June 2026.

Monday, June 15, 2026

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 457 & Part 458

Today is Monday, the 15th of June 2026
 
Horizon City is a town in Texas, whereas Texas is a town in Wisconsin, said Twenty-Five, our little tawny owl.

Why are you telling us that?, asked the seven little red birds.

Just because I felt like I had to, mumbled the owl.

'Talk of mysteries! - Think of our life in nature, - daily to be shown matter, to come in contact with it, - rocks, trees, wind on our cheeks! The solid earth! The actual world! The common sense! Contact! Contact! Who are we? Where are we?' the seventeen penguins trumpeted.

Said who?, asked the twenty-five chicks.

Said you?, asked the two chicks.

Said Henry David Thoreau, said the penguins.

Look who's talking, snapped the twelve hipster-cats. Penguins talking about trees feel like penguins talking about flying.

Don't fight, said the tawny owl, secretly annoyed about the other animals starting and continuing quoting quotes.

And fifteen orangutons joined the the seven gorillas, the thirty thirsty monkeys, the twenty-two dragons, the fourteen hens, the six unicorns, the twenty-eight horses, the twenty zebras, the twelve frogs, the four pandas, the twenty-seven koalas, the twenty bears, the nineteen hares, the eleven hamsters, the three mice, the twenty-three wild boars, the fifteen pigs, the thirty cows, the twenty-two raccoons, the fourteen foxes, the six giraffes, the twenty-nine tigers, the twenty-three lions, the fifteen face-cats, the seven wolves, the thirty dogs, the twenty-two face-monkeys, the fourteen speak-no-evil-monkeys, the six hear-no-evil-monkeys, the twenty-eight see-no-evil-monkeys, the twenty astro-cats, the twelve hipster-cats, the four dragon cats, the twenty-seven hacker cats, the nineteen stunt cats, the eleven ninja-cats, the three pouting cats, the twenty-six crying cats, the eighteen weary cats, the ten kissing cats, the two cats with wry smiles, the twenty-four smiling cats with heart-eyes, the sixteen cats with tears of joy, the eight grinning cats with smiling eyes, the thirty-one grinning cats, the twenty-three spiders, the fifteen scorpions, the seven ladybugs, the twenty-nine bees, the twenty-one ants, the thirty crickets, the twenty-two mosquitoes, the fourteen caterpillars, the six snails, the twenty-six butterflies, the eighteen bats, the ten more chicks, the two chicks, the twenty-five chicks, the seventeen penguins, the nine little red birds, and the one little tawny owl…

🦧🦧🦧🦧🦧
🦧🦧🦧🦧🦧
🦧🦧🦧🦧🦧


"Bromford Rangers"

Look can you see things when they show you
What they want you to know

Watch what you don't see on the TV
When they hide the truth

Feel how it hurts you when the truth hides
In between the scenes

Cry from the broken hearted melody
That you hear in your dreams

Whoa it's a runaway, can you catch it?
It's not in your hands

Slow, easy does it
When you find out what deception means

Try, try to change it 'cause it hurts you
And it holds back your dreams

Dreams of a new world evolution of the species
To survive truth that screams

Call in the darkness for the moment
A clear thinking joy

Laugh, when you find out that the story that's spoken
Has broken like a toy

Lost in the sandbox just left there
For no one to enjoy

Found by the police who killed it
Were filmed on the phone

Bromford Rangers had to ride in
To the rescue of all that's well and good

Bromford Rangers in pickups
Painted silver with bulldogs on the hood

Bromford Rangers come to save you
Come to rescue the bad and the good

Bromford Rangers (On the backroads) and the freeways
And in your neighborhood

Bromford Rangers
Bromford Rangers
Bromford Rangers
Ha!
Bromford Rangers























"That Girl From Bromford, Texas"

I say, "God, if You ain't smiling on me, then you ain't no friend of mine"
It's late at night and this motel room's drunk
I been listening to the lonesome wind crying

My best friend once said, Jim, what you cling to
That's the thing that you had best forget
For ain't no rose bed ever gonna bloom in an untended field of regrets

Guess, I been busy killing time, counting bullet holes in state line signs
I led a life of lonely drifting, trying to rise above the buzzards in my mind
You get dizzy chasing 'round the tail of what you need to leave behind
Oh, sweet Jesus, won't you help me?
'Cause all I'm trying to do is plant them seeds of love
With that girl from Bromford, Texas

Midnight radio, a crackly, white gospel station kicking out the sounds
Of some half-assed revival, me, I never much cared for the feelings
You get quoting scriptures from out of the Bible

For as the crow flies, I know only one cure for a permanent tear in your eye
You gotta crank like hell, that rope on old sorrow's well
'Til the day that the bucket comes up dry

Guess, I been busy killing time, counting bullet holes in state line signs
I led a life of lonely drifting, trying to rise above the buzzards in my mind
You get dizzy chasing 'round the tail of what you need to leave behind
Oh, sweet Jesus, won't you help me?
'Cause all I'm trying to do is plant them seeds of love
With that girl from Bromford, Texas

Now, dreams are just prayers, without the put on airs
And though my history of dreams is a scandal of backassward schemes
And romantic disasters, where Lord, You dealt me more cards than I could handle

Still from the lips of this half-hearted sinner
Comes the pledge of a half baked saint
'Cause Lord, I might finally be willing to become the religious fool
You always wanted me to be, if in return, we could just tell that girl
I'm the man, You and me both know that I ain't

Guess, I been busy killing time, counting bullet holes in state line signs
I led a life of lonely drifting, trying to rise above the buzzards in my mind
You get dizzy chasing 'round the tail of what you need to leave behind
Oh, sweet Jesus, won't you help me?
'Cause all I'm trying to do is plant them seeds of love
With that girl from Bromford, Texas

Now, dreams are just prayers, without the put on airs
And though my history of dreams is a scandal of backassward schemes
And romantic disasters, where Lord, You dealt me more cards
Than I could handle

Still, from the lips of this halfhearted sinner
Comes the pledge of a half baked saint
'Cause Lord, I might finally be willing to become the religious fool
You always wanted me to be, if in return, we could just tell that girl
I'm the man, You and me both know that I ain't



Saturday, June 13, 2026

Bromford and Lion …

 

»Ion like a lion in Zion. «

Is the llama singing?

»The circle of life… It's the wheel of fortune… «

»Stop singing, animal. And it is Iron, Like A Lion, In Zion. Not Ion. «

»Why should a lion iron something? They don't like their shirts flat. They don't even wear shirts most of time. Or any other clothes. Am I nervous? Do you ask me if I am nervous, dude? The answer is, YES! Do I think a lion in a penthouse is a good idea? The answer is definitely, NO! «

»The song goes, I'm gonna be Iron, like a Lion, in Zion, « I think.

But I feel like we had this discussion before.

»In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
the lion sleeps tonight? «

The llama is jumping up and down on the couch and is making all feathers squeak.

»I am sorry, pal, « I turn to the lion who is standing in the door to the livingroom. »I think, it will not work out with us. «

»No worries, dude, « the big cat is grinning brightly. »Hakuna matata, as we say down by the waterhole. If the glove does not fit… «

And on bouncing feet he leaves the apartment.

The llama is now running around the couch in a strange and only kind of understandable panic.

Why again did I have this feeling, the animal had become the straight and serious part in this relationship of us?

And I blame it on the weather that the llama is starting a weird and donkey-like hooting now.

»Wee-hee-hee-hee, dee hee-hee-hee-hee
Wee-oh aweem away
Wee-hee-hee-hee, dee hee-hee-hee-hee
Wee-oh aweem away

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh «


❓❓
❓❓❓
❓❓❓❓
❓❓


Today is Saturday, the 13th of June 2026.

Thursday, June 11, 2026

Bromford and Parrot …

 

»I am running out of options, animal, « I say.

The llama is adjusting its earplugs.

»YOU HAVE TO TALK LOUDER, DUDE! « the animal yells at me. »I CAN HARDLY UNDERSTAND YOU. «

I shout back, »I AM RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS, ANIMAL. CANDIDATES FOR MY NEXT BEST ANIMAL COMPANION AND DATES ARE GETTING FEWER. MAYBE I SHOULD START LOOKING FOR MORE CONVENTIONAL PETS! «

»LIKE A PARROT, FOR EXAMPLE, DUDE? «

»Like a parrot, « I whisper to myself.

»POLLY WANTS A CRACKER !!! « 
the parrot squeels.

I look at the llama. The llama looks at me. I simply nod in agreement.

The llama opens the glassdoor to the roof terrace.

»FLY, YOU FOOL! « the animal shouts at the parrot. »SEEK FREEDOM! «

The parrot squeels a last long and loud squeel. Then the bold birds takes off into the air towards Bromford Bay.

The llama takes out the earplugs.

»That was loud, « the animal says. »And I never liked that Nirvana song, anyway. «


❔❔
❔❔❔
❔❔❔❔❔


Today is Thursday, the 11th of June 2026.

Tuesday, June 09, 2026

Bromford and Beaver …

 

# You are no beaver, Bromford Bibble. You are no magician, no wizard. And definitely no animagus who went to school with Harry Potter.

- Are you a llama, llama?

# I do not understand your question, dude.

- Llamas do not use human language. Llamas do not talk to humans. But maybe I am a special type of wizard. I am a llamatongue. Very rare. I can talk to and understand llamas. Just look at this cute little guy. You simply have to love this beaver.

# Another rodent?

- Once, in the year twenty-ten, there were Olympic Winter Games in Canada. And in the opening ceremony the Canadians released the Canadian equivalents of white Peace Doves. They let hundreds of beavers fly. And the beavers ate the wooden tribunes in the stadium, the grandstands and bleachers.

# Now, you are talking about an episode of The Simpsons TV show, dude.

- TV is dead, animal. Although The Simpsons are visionaries, or they were visionaries. So you don't think a beaver is a good animal companion?

# Not in a penthouse above the fifteenth floor of an apartment building on 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford, the friendly town by the bay and seaside.

- What about our plan to turn the sky above the skyscrapers into one giant aquarium? What about the Age of Aquarium?

# That was always your plan alone, dude.

- Magic has somehow lost its Hogwarts, llama. The Wizarding World has lost its innocence. And I have lost my animagus ability to turn into a beaver when I stopped practicing. And where is my wand?

# I don't know, dude. I don't know. But your beaver friend is eating our furniture.

‼‼‼
‼‼‼
‼‼‼


Today is Tuesday, the 9th of June 2026.

Sunday, June 07, 2026

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 455 & Part 456

 
Today is Sunday, the 7th of June 2026.

'Every society honors its live conformists and its dead troublemakers,' said Marshall McLuhan, said Twenty-Five, the little tawny owl.

He said 'mists', said the lions.

I see no 'mists', said the tigers.

Only 'conformists', grinned the foxes.

I see seven gorillas', the little red birds tweeted. Are they Gorillas in the Mist?

They are gorillas in the conformists, the thirty thirsty monkeys slurred their words.

But no animal took them seriously.

And seven gorillas joined the thirty thirsty monkeys, the twenty-two dragons, the fourteen hens, the six unicorns, the twenty-eight horses, the twenty zebras, the twelve frogs, the four pandas, the twenty-seven koalas, the twenty bears, the nineteen hares, the eleven hamsters, the three mice, the twenty-three wild boars, the fifteen pigs, the thirty cows, the twenty-two raccoons, the fourteen foxes, the six giraffes, the twenty-nine tigers, the twenty-three lions, the fifteen face-cats, the seven wolves, the thirty dogs, the twenty-two face-monkeys, the fourteen speak-no-evil-monkeys, the six hear-no-evil-monkeys, the twenty-eight see-no-evil-monkeys, the twenty astro-cats, the twelve hipster-cats, the four dragon cats, the twenty-seven hacker cats, the nineteen stunt cats, the eleven ninja-cats, the three pouting cats, the twenty-six crying cats, the eighteen weary cats, the ten kissing cats, the two cats with wry smiles, the twenty-four smiling cats with heart-eyes, the sixteen cats with tears of joy, the eight grinning cats with smiling eyes, the thirty-one grinning cats, the twenty-three spiders, the fifteen scorpions, the seven ladybugs, the twenty-nine bees, the twenty-one ants, the thirty crickets, the twenty-two mosquitoes, the fourteen caterpillars, the six snails, the twenty-six butterflies, the eighteen bats, the ten more chicks, the two chicks, the twenty-five chicks, the seventeen penguins, the nine little red birds, and the one little tawny owl…

🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍

"Bromford"

We met at Amys party
I stick with Chuck cause he brings me luck, Chuck whats up
With the girl over there, with the hair, she likes you.

You're not from around here, you come from a place where stars at night
are big and bight, you're light, it blinds me.

Put me on a plane. I am not afraid.
Just don't tell me, that you're leaving.

Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you, girl.

I think I missed the last train,
If I could just sleep here on the floor,
I promise I will will expect more.
This reminds me of high school
Or maybe what high school would have been,
If you were there and I were cooler.

Put me on the plane, I am not ashamed.
Just don't tell me that you're leaving.

Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you, girl. Girl.

Put me on a plane. I am not afraid.
Just don't tell me that, you're leaving.

Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you, girl.

Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you.
Take me back to Bromford with you, girl.




"bromford"

join the event bromford
feel and enjoy the rising
infinite possibilities
no rules – no boundaries


Wednesday, June 03, 2026

Bromford and Rat …

 

Deep inside my heart I have always been a true punk, with colourful hair, eccentric clothes and a nice little pet rat. I would have called him Stinker. But not because he actually stinked but because it is a cute little name.

The llama is looking over my shoulder on the laptop screen, once more.

»So, your rodant days have begun, dude? « the animal asks.

Then it gives me an unwanted and unasked advice,

»Delete that post, dude. It could start a riot. You are nothing like a punk at all. «

Drops the mic and leaves the stage.

⁉⁉⁉

Today is Wednesday, the 3rd of June 2026.

Monday, June 01, 2026

Bromford and Tribble …

 

»Is your razor broken, dude? « asks the llama.

»I prefer to call it my shaver, animal, « I reply, »and it is not broken. This three-day stubble is my new look. «

»I know your shaving routines, dude, « says the llama, »that is more like a three-week stubble in your face. And your hair hasn't seen the hairdressers in a long time, either. «

»Same, same. «

»And are you wearing fur balls now? Didn't PETA teach you anything? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Does it ring a bell? All these nude and shaved people and celebrities on the posters in the "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign in the 1990s? Was all their shivering in vain? Dude, I was about to found a new organization. AETP - Animals for the Ethical Treatment of People. And after all of these activists days you are standing here in your apartment wearing that strange blue sweater with brown fur pompoms sewn on some very weird places? «

»They are no pompoms and they are not sewn, animal, « I say calmly.

»Dude? « The animal is shocked. »Are they moving? ARE THEY ALIVE? «

»They are the next candidates for becoming my new animal companions, « I say. »We just need to talk about and work on their reproduction rate, I think. There was only one of them only half an hour ago. «

»What are they? « asks the llama. »Guinea pigs? «

»No, animal, they are Tribbles. Alien life forms on some kind of a Star Trek in space and on a mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before! Like Earth, for example. And they are too cute and fluffy and fuzzy. Just hearing their sounds is making you feel calm and all relaxed. You just have to try it. «

All this time the brown fur balls had been softly cooinging, gently purring and started vibrating trillings. But as the llama approaches they are uttering agitated squeals while shying  away and trying to hide behind my back.

»What is wrong with you, animal? « I shout at the llama. »Why are you scaring them? Are you a Klingon? Leave! Go away! Tribbles hate Klingons. «

The llama is rolling its eyes.

»Beam me up, Scotty. There is no intelligent life on this planet. «

💯

Today is Monday, the 1st of June 2026.