Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 24

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"Fairytale Of Bromford"

It was Christmas Eve, babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me
"Won't see another one"
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So, Happy Christmas
I love you, baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

They've got cars big as bars, they've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the old
When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty, Queen of Bromford City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging
All the drunks, they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the Bromford PD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You're a bum, you're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead
On a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap, lousy faggot
Happy Christmas, your arse
I pray God it's our last

The boys of the BromfordPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day

"I could have been someone"
Well, so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me, babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you

The boys of the Bromford PD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day

»It's Christmas Eve somewhere and in Minneapolis«, Nigel whimpers. »We shouldn't be here. «

»And I wish, I had never mentioned Captain Ahab and his obsessions«, Kylie says in a faltering voice. »This cannot end well and with a happy ending for us and our Pequod. Our Captain Ahabraham has got more than one white whale. «

»Are you talking about Moby Dick again? « the llama asks. »How did that novel end? I have never read the ending. Too much whaling in it for my taste and if you want my opinion. «

»Fire! «

»Fire! «

»Fire! «

Three waves of cannon balls are flying over from the Black Star. I can see the explosions in the cannon barrels and smell the burnt gunpowder and smoke.

One of the cannon balls is passing by my head and hitting the main mast. And these aren't regular cannon balls. They are not made from stone, iron or lead. They are all made of glass; glass spheres the size of an average human head.

»Duck and cover«, Claude Sideburns, resident of Brompton Castle shouts out.

Also shouting is Mr. Rilliam B. Wiker, the first mate and officer of the WaveEater.

»Evasive maneuvers! Turn to the main continent! «

He is turning the steering wheel from one side to the other and around and around but there is no one left to execute his commands.

The cannon balls of glass have hit all crucial parts of the sailing ship. All three masts are breaking with loud splintering noises. The sails are in tatters. And from under deck I can hear the sounds of water entering the hull from leaking holes the cannon balls have torn into the ship's walls.

»Where are the rescue boats? To the by-boats! « Claude Sideburns shouts.

»There are no by-boats! « Mr. Tummy shouts back. »The deserters of the crew took them, do you remember? There is no rescue. «

»But I am too young to die«, the llama cries. »Too old to rock 'n' roll, but too young to die. «

In all this mayhem Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, is standing motionless in the fore peak or beak head of the WaveEater. Behind his back on the bow stem must be the figurehead of this ship if it has one. I never had the chance to find out.

'The figurehead is a mermaid', I can hear Tumbleweed whisper in my head.

It seems like he is kind of shocked and also fascinated by the chaos and destruction around him. He is observing and yet not able to understand that this is happening so close to his home.

And Captain Ahabraham Hammock? He is kneeling near the railing between quarter deck and the main deck a few feet underneath, praying. His folded hands are clinging tight to the Amber Heart of the Sea.

The Black Star is close now. Instead of firing another volley of cannon balls Captain Pikpok's men who for the most part used to be Captain Hammock's men before are preparing to bring out the enter planks to board and invade the WaveEater, their former ship.

Everything seems to be hopeless.

A huge wave hits me square in the face. As I turn around I can almost sense how close we are to the Continent of Greelion now. Too close, stuck between sinking and drowning and running aground at the same time. And everything will wreck the ship.

Within the fraction of a second I try to calculate my chances. What can save me? What can save my life? Jumping over board into the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea? Trying to reach the shore of Greenlion? Jumping on the Black Star? Or is there another option?

The WaveEater is filling up with water faster and faster and lists. It is leaning heavily to the starboard side. I wonder how long I will be able to keep myself standing on my feet.

And suddenly I notice something new in the water. There are not only the two ships and the mainland and a few little scattered islands. There is also something else moving through the water, a huge snake-like body moving up and down in snaky waves and loops.

Just as a strong jolt is running through the WaveEater and I have to grab and hold on to the railing or otherwise I had fallen from the ship, Sneezewort, the water dragon emerges from the ocean next to the two ships. With head raised high he is looking around. Black clouds break up and let the setting sun shine on the friendly green face of the mystical being. He looks like some kind of nice dog with a long snout and some additional green and brown reptile-like warts and spikes. The rest of his body is like that of a giant snake with shimmering scales. I cannot see if he has got additional limbs like arms or legs.

Almost smiling he is looking around curiously attracted by the mayhem and all kinds of movements of the people and beings on the two ships until he notices Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, still standing at the bow of the WaveEater. Sneezewort is leaning closer, almost bowing to the faun. And after a short, wordless and maybe telepathic conversation between the two of them the Water Dragon turns around.

»Yes, monster! « That is Captain Pikpok's loud and booming voice again. His white appearance is shining even brighter in the light of the sun. »Turn around! Get lost! There is nothing here for you! The Amber Heart of the Sea is mine! All mine! Can you hear me? «

Sneezewort is diving. His big, loop-shaped body is disappearing under water. But only for a brief moment in time. With all strength he is shooting up himself back from the deep of the ocean. And in a huge fountain of saltwater and splintering wood he is landing on the front half of the Black Star. The mystical creature is taking another dive. And as he emerges next from the floods he is aiming for a screaming Captain Pikpok himself. Sneezewort is swallowing the pirate as a whole, taking the rest of the Black Star with him to the ground of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea, crushing and grinding the ship within the coils of his body.

I am dangling from the railing of the remains of the breaking WaveEater. Around me I can hear and see people scream and shout and splashing into the water. As I cannot hold on to the shipwreck any longer I let got, trying to swim, to avoid pieces of debris of the sunken ships and to keep my head up to be able to breathe. Finally I grab something floating next to me, and totally exhausted and with a last look on a setting sun on the horizon I lose my consciousness.

And all the night goes silent.

Today is Sunday, the 24th of December 2023
Fourth Sunday of Advent / Christmas Eve