Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 31

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁🎇🌝❌❌❌🎆

"Bromford Tea Party"

Are you going to the party?
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
Going to the party?
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?

Going to the party?
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
Going to the party?
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?

Redcoats in the village, there's fighting in the streets
The Indians and the mountain men
Well, they are talking when they meet
The king said, "Had he's gonna put a tax on tea"
And that's the reason you all Americans drink coffee

Are you going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Fire in the mountains, flames upon the heath
And the president spits out the news
He's biting on wooden teeth
The children of the colonies got a different tale to tell
I'm going down to the city, tell my folks that I'm doing well


Are you going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Bringing back the buffalo to the long prairie
Bringing back the fishes swimming in the sea
The children of the colonies got a different tale to tell
Tell my folks that I'm going to the city
Tell them that, I'm doing well

Are you going to the party?
(Are you going)
Going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Are you going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)
Going to the party?
(Are you going)
Going to the Bromford Tea Party?
(Are you going to the tea party)

Are you going, are you going?
(Are you going, are you going?)
Are you going, are you going?
Are you going to the party?

Are you going?
Are you going?
Are you going?
...

Home, at last.

Without any flashbacks to that one time in Singapore, we have finally arrived in the harbour of Bromford, the friendly town by the bay and the seaside. We really took the ferry from Brighton Pier. Or was it a cruise ship? I am still not familiar with the location of Bromford, the town, and distances in this world.

And now, we - that is Kylie and her son Nigel, the llama and I - are sitting in the living room of the penthouse above the fifteenth floor of the apartment house on 666, Whitaker Lane.

»So, how did you like our adventure so far? « I ask, pouring some herbal tea.

»Feels like we were living a boy's adventure tale in the past days. Or were they weeks? Month or even years? Time is acting strange in Greenlion and the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea. «

»There were pirates«, Kylie says.

»And fairies«, Nigel adds.

»The whole story could have used more cowboys and musketeers, if you ask me. Astronauts would have been nice, too«, the llama complains. »And there were not enough aliens. «

»Ok«, I say, »I will write that down for the next time, the next advent calendar adventure. «

»Also«, the llama goes on criticising, »you are building up and building up your stories with way to many and too short posts in the beginning, and in the end you have to rush and squeeze everything into overloaded solutions. «

»Who says it was one of my stories? « I ask looking out of the glass wall to the roof-terrace of the penthouse. Something black and white is fluttering through the dark evening towards the handrail. »What if we really travelled to all these locations, including Greenlion and the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea? «

»Bah, Humbug«, the animal spits out.

»Are we going to the party? « I ask changing subjects.

»What party? « Kylie asks back.

»The Tea Party from that song? « Nigel asks. »What kind of a party would that be? With only tea and nothing else to drink but tea? «

»Don't be silly, Nigel. What did I send you to college for? I think you should know what the Tea Party was from your history classes. «

»Are we breaking the fourth wall again, Bromford? «

»They are doing it, I think. You cannot blame that on me. «

»Is it too early to wish you a happy new year? «

»Let's wish us all a happy new year. «

Kylie, Nigel and Llama are standing up.

»Let's go downstairs«, Kylie says. »Let's see if Speedy is having one of his New Year's Eve gatherings at his SPEEDY'S SANDWICH BAR & CAFÉ in the basement. «

»Give me some time to freshen up a little«, I say. »Go ahead. I will be with you in just a few minutes. «

As they are gone I open the sliding glass door to the roof-terrace of my penthouse. A chilling wind brings the smell of saltwater and rotting seaweed from down the canyons of the city and the Bomford Harbour.

A black and white seagull is landing fluttering on the concrete floor before me. It is holding a rolled parchment paper tied with a strand of long golden hair in its beak and it his handing it over to me. There is a strange wink in the bird's yellow eyes.

As I want to take a confused and closer look, the bird is gone, but the message remains in my hand.

I go back inside and I unroll the parchment.

In an artful handwriting I can read the following note,

“If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
If you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.”

Today is Sunday, the 31st of December.
New Year's Eve

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 30

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁🎇🌝❌❌❌

"Bromford"

We sail tonight for Bromford,
We're all as mad as hatters here
I've fallen for a tawny moor,
Took off to the land of nod
Drank with all the Chinamen,
Walked the sewers of Paris
I danced along a colored wind,
Dangled from a rope of sand
You must say goodbye to me
We sail tonight for Bromford,
Don't fall asleep while you're ashore
Cross your heart and hope to die
When you hear the children cry
Let marrow bone and cleaver choose
While making feet for children shoes
Through the alley, back from hell,
When you hear that steeple bell
You must say goodbye to me
Wipe him down with gasoline
'til his arms are hard and mean


From now on boys this iron boat's your home
So heave away, boys
We sail tonight for Bromford,
Take your blankets from the floor
Wash your mouth out by the door,
The whole town's made of iron ore
Every witness turns to steam,
They all become Italian dreams
Fill your pockets up with earth,
Get yourself a dollar's worth
Away boys, away boys, heave away
The captain is a one-armed dwarf,
He's throwing dice along the wharf
In the land of the blind
The one-eyed man is king, so take this ring
We sail tonight for Bromford,
We're all as mad as hatters here
I've fallen for a tawny moor,
Took off to the land of nod
Drank with all the Chinamen,
Walked the sewers of Paris
I drank along a colored wind,
I dangled from a rope of sand
You must say goodbye to me

Walls, we are surrounded by walls, brick walls made of large, coarse, almost natural stones coming into sight in the spot of the flashlight.

The llama is turning around and bumping into a shelf with canned goods. Some cans with peaches fall and roll to the floor causing a sudden shocking noise.

»Llama! « Kylie says startled.

»Hmm«, Claude Sideburns is making this wondering sound, »look there is a light-switch next to that staircase. And this place looks kind of familiar to me. «

Before any of us can switch on the lights, a door opens at the top of the staircase and a figure in a pink bathrobe is turning the light-switch.

»So? « A female voice says. »This place looks kind of familiar to you, Claude? What are you doing down there sneaking around in the storage cellar of Brompton Castle? «

She is turning her head with curlers in her grey hair and shouts over her shoulder.

»Gilbert! The boy is home! Oh, sorry«, Hildegard is turning to Sideburns, »shall I call you Master Claude in front of your friends? But now, come up here all of you. I want to close this door. The cold and dampness of the cellar creeps into my bones. «

We climb the stairs and pass the cellar door to the kitchen of Brompton Castle. Hildegard, Claude Sideburns' housekeeper and mother puts a rolling pin back on the counter next to the stove.

From the hallway Gilbert, Sideburns' butler and father enters the kitchen in a jogging suit and with completely disheveled hair.

»What is all this fuss in the middle of the night? Decent people are trying to get some sleep here. «

»It is 8:30 p.m., dad«, Claude Sideburns says offended, »it is evening and not the middle of the night. «

Gilbert steps forward and gives his son a hug.

»Good that you are back«, he says breathing into Claude's thin, white hair. »We were worried when you disappeared in that stone circle. We searched and waited for you for one week. Then we went to the police. But they just looked at us as if we were a bunch of decrepit idiots or demented lunatics when we started talking about black sheep and fauns and gate-portals to other worlds and places. «

Hildegard is patting Claude's back.

»Sit down, now, all of you«, she says. »Do you want some tea? Some coffee? I could warm up some stew from today's lunch. «

We gratefully accept the invitation and sit down around the kitchen table. Gilbert and Hildegard are joining us, asking lots of questions about our travels and adventures. Gilbert is heating up the wood stove. And soon we are in the middle of a comfy feast with good food and full of stories.

»So«, Gilbert asks at last, »do you think you found a treasure after your long journey with strange treasure maps to strange and foreign places? «

»I wish I could say that. « Claude Sideburns suddenly looks a little bit sad. »I have learned that I definitely won't become a Professor for archaeology in this life. Reading all these scientific magazines about lost treasures and places won't take me any further. I will have to do something different for a living. «

»Says the man in his early sixties«, Hildegard coughs. »We, your parents are in our eighties. None of us is getting younger. This may be not the time and the place to talk about this. But this old ruin of a castle doesn't pay or maintain itself. Maybe it is time to sell Brompton Castle. Time to let it go and to move on. «

»I don't like this idea«, Claude says. »I always dreamt about turning Brompton Castle into a hotel. There are enough rooms in it. And I think there are enough people who would like to spend their holidays and vacations at a slightly haunted and creepy place. We could renovate while operations are ongoing and perhaps hire people if the work becomes too much and too difficult for us. And we have a real showplace with that circle of stones in the front yard. Maybe even beings from the other world of Greenlion could come visit and spend time with us. «

Gilbert is chewing on a crust of bread.

»The circle is gone. I got out the shovel and dug right after you disappeared and the portal closed, but there are no stones in the mud in the front yard any longer. «

»The remains of the hedge labyrinth are still there«, Hildegard adds. »Maybe we regrow it and open it for visitors. But I think instead of a hotel we should start with a bed and breakfast in the beginning. «

»We can talk about this and make our plans tomorrow or maybe next year«. Claude Sideburns is spooning the last stew from his bowl and leaning back in his chair stroking his stomach. »That was good. Thank you, mummy. «

»And what are your plans? «Hildegard turns to Kylie, Nigel, the llama and me.

»We want to go home«, I say looking at my friends who are nodding in agreement.

»You can spend the night in our guest rooms«, Hildegard invites us, »And in the morning Gilbert can drive you to Brighton with the car. From Brighton Pier you could take a ship. Or he could take you to the train station. Or you could take a plane from Shoreham Airport. We will see in the morrow. «

And with this words she bids us goodnight leaving the kitchen in her pink bathrobe and with the curlers in her curled up hair.

Today is Saturday, the 30th of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 29

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁🎇🌝❌❌

"Bromford Pier"

There's a patch of longing at the edge of town
Don't run so fast 'cause my heels get caught
An American tourist he says he wanted some rock
I could've just flipped the sign, charged him anything, taken everything he's got
I saw a little sign up in the sky
Reminded me of something in your eye
That's Bromford pier, darling

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
They sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

Across the wooden boards and then far out to sea
I never even realized you were seeing the same thing as me
I'm cutting up on Swinton street with my head held high
I kiss her on the lips and sometimes it's hard to say goodbye

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
Sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
Sing a dirty old song
But we carry on
There's a patch of longing at the edge of town
Don't run so fast 'cause my heels get caught
An American tourist he says he wanted some rock
I could've just flipped the sign, charged him anything, taken everything he's got
I saw a little sign up in the sky
Reminded me of something in your eye
That's Bromford pier, darling

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
They sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

Across the wooden boards and then far out to sea
I never even realized you were seeing the same thing as me
I'm cutting up on Swinton street with my head held high
I kiss her on the lips and sometimes it's hard to say goodbye

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
Sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
Sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

(You're such a...)
(You're such a...)
(You're such a...)
(You're such a...)
(You're such a...)
(You're such a...)

They sing a sad, sad song
They sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

Where the lights
They sing a sad, sad song
They sing a dirty old song
But we carry on

(Where the lights) I knew it was a question, but I
(Sad, sad song) Didn't know the answer so I
(A dirty old song) Just looked away away and I
(Carry on) Kind of looked the other way and that's
(Where the lights) Over to the sea and that's
(Sad, sad song) Far from you and me
(Sad, sad song) Where the lights
I said we carry on

»Where is Brisbane? «

»In Australia, I think. Why are you asking, animal? «

»On an air-plane
to Brisbane
a whooping crane
stole my cocaine. «

»What is that supposed to be? « Kylie asks. »A failed limerick? «

»Limerick«, Claude Sideburns says, »also called Luimneach in Irish, is a city in western Ireland, in County Limerick, and in the province of Munster and is in the Mid-West which comprises part of the Southern Region. «

»Thanks for all those unnecessary facts«, Nigel grumbles.

»I brought something with me«, the llama says, »something from the island of Greenlion. «

I can feel the animal's hairy body duck and squeeze under our arms into the circle we are forming with our arms and bodies, holding hands like children who want to perform a rows of rings dance.

»It might be a firefly«, the animal says opening its mouth, »but it also might be one of those annoying little fairies, as well. «

Out of the animal's mouth comes a blueish white shine of light.

»That's not a firefly«, I say, »neither a fairy. You have got a flashlight in your mouth, animal! «

»Always be ready. Always we prepared«, the animal grins as I take the flashlight out of its mouth.

I have to wipe llama spit of that thing with a handkerchief from my pockets.

»You will never know what else I have got hidden in my pouch. «

»Oh, dear, the pouch-thing again«, I say. »Haven't heard that in quite some time now. But you remember that you are not a kangaroo with a bottomless pouch, don't you? «

As I can hold the flashlight in my hand without it slipping through my fingers because of all of the llama slime I begin to shine into the darkness around us.

Today is Friday, the 29th of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 28

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁🎇🌝❌

"Inferno (Bromford in Summer)

The jungle is coming up to the door
The birds that are calling are hard to ignore
The heat of the morning has come too soon
And the rain that is falling is falling far away
Far away up on the moon

Oh that moon

No one is sleeping we're naked in bed
Tossing and turning with murder in our heads
Can't lift a finger dreaming of ice
The photo you sent me out the window or the snow
Well it looks like paradise

Oh that ice

Do you remember winter at all?
You in a frock coat and me in a shawl

Mowed the lawn Monday the grass a disgrace
Mowed the lawn Tuesday the grass in our face
The jungle is coming and so is the drought
The people are screaming
Let me let me let me let me let me let me out!!

Oh that ice looks like paradise

»Where are we? « Kylie asks.

»That question is a real Evergreen«, the llama scoffs. »It never gets old. «

Kylie has taken my left hand. Nigel's left hand is searching for my right. And they both take Claude Sideburns hands.

»Ey«, the animal complains, »don't discriminate me only because you have got hands and I don't. «

»We are trapped«, Claude Sideburns says opposite of me in the circle we are forming now. »We are trapped between the years. «

Today is Thursday, the 28th of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 27

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁🎇🌝

"Bromford"

If I get back from wherever I travel
I'll tell you what I've seen
The good and the bad
The hearts and the hassle
In the cities under siege
I'll tell you all about where I have been
And I won't ever leave again
Now you might think it's a lie
When I say I'm going to write
But if I break my pen filling you in
Wouldn't that change your mind


Bromford, Bromford
Have you even seen anything, Bromford?


When I get back from wherever I go
I'll look for you in the shade
A marker in the grass
I'll tell you at last
You're not the reason I went away
Sometimes I wish you were the one
Who had left and I had stayed


Bromford, Bromford
Have you even seen anything, Bromford?
Bromford, Bromford
Have you even seen anything, Bromford?

 

Mr. Tumbleweed comes to me the next morning - after a night full of music and singing and dancing and talking and good sleep, full of good and better food, cold and warm beverages, from the beaches of the Kollobita´´rtainnen and the banks of the silver river, through the woods beneath the trees, over the green hills and meadows, over the walls and into the streets of the City of Gold with its palaces and towers. But was it only one night? Or was it days and nights, weeks and months, even years, decades and centuries? It is hard to tell. Time is acting strange in Greenlion and the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea.

»It is time for you and your friends to go home now«, the faun says.

All the dancing and singing and playing his pan flute haven't exhausted him at all. He is smiling a more smirking than mysterious smile and looks as fresh as the morning.

»Is it time? « Nigel asks.

The young man looks as if he has slept under a pile of fallen leaves, his shirt and trousers covered by them and some of them tangled in his disheveled hair.

»Another full moon is rising«, Tumbleweed, the faun explains, »the Cold Moon, this time. «

»So, there are in fact thirteen full moons in the twelve months of this year? « Kylie asks.

»I knew something was wrong when only eleven symbols lightened up in the circle of stones back at Brompton Castle«, Nigel is clenching his fist in a gesture of success. »And you yourself told us about the missing and yet very powerful moon, remember? «

He starts poking his forefinger into the faun's arm.

»You yourself told us as the black sheep we met at home in our world. The Blue Moon, the most powerful of them all, being an additional full moon that appears in a subdivision of a year as the third of four full moons in a season. «

»Yes«, the faun admits, »the Blue Moon kind of slipped my mind and I forgot to mention it when Claude Sideburns pressed the stony symbols in the circle of stones. And that's the reason why we landed on the WaveEater ship in the middle of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea instead of dry-footed on the island of Greenlion. But now, the moon circle has been completed. The end of your year is close. Pressing all thirteen symbols in one of our own stone circles in this world will bring you right back to where you came from. «

»Which is? « the llama asks a little sceptical.

»Brompton Castle, of course«, Claude Sideburns is looking very happy and kind of relieved.

»Look, where we are. «

Mr. Tumbleweed is pointing at an old tree with long, heavy hanging branches by the side of the silvery river.

»It is that old willow tree by the silver creek where my own odyssey started many, many years and eons ago. «

There is a circle of stones all around the sprawling tree engraved with signs and symbols that look exactly like the ones in the circle in the front yard of Brompton Castle.

»There's more space between these symbols«, Sideburns points out. »So please give me time to reach them when you call out the names of the moons. Make it slow, but not too slow. «

»What about Captain Ahabraham Hammock and his crew? « I ask. »Will you send them home as well? «

In this exact moment Captain Hammock, Rilliam B. Wiker and Hollow Tummy are approaching along the riverside.

»We are here to bid you farewell and goodbye«, the captain says. »By Neptune's trident, may your days be long and your nights be pleasant. «

»But what will become of you and your crew? « Kylie asks. »Are you going home as well? «

»I'm afraid; it is too late for that. « Captain Hammock is rubbing his golden earring. »Too much water has flowed under the bridges and across all seven or even eight seas. Centuries of our time have past. And we cannot go back in time. That is what our fair Queen Titania told me. I am an old sea bear and my sea legs have become grounded on the continent of Greenlion and the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea somehow. Believe me; I wouldn't be able to find my way in your time and your world. I will stay here under the sunny sky where it is always springtime. «

»And the rest of you? « I ask Mr. Wiker and Mr. Tummy. »Are you going to stay, too? «

Mr. Wiker is only nodding, and Mr. Tummy says, »There would be no one waiting there for me in Pittsburgh when I came home from the sea. My wife and my children and even the childs of my children would have passed away a long time ago. So the best will be to stay here in this world and to explore all its wonders and fruits and joys. «

»The rest of my crew decided to stay, too. « Captain Hammock continues, »King Oberon and Queen Titania granted us asylum. And who knows? Maybe one day we will build ourselves a new ship and we'll sail the seas again. «

Mr. Tumbleweed is smiling.

»But don't get into trouble with those wood elves when you try to cut down their trees. They are kind of thin-skinned about that. «

Captain Hammock is shaking my hand in a last farewell gesture.

»You know, Mister Bibble«, he says, »I came to Greenlion and there really was a great sorceress living in these woods. And I truly fell under her spell, her spell of beauty and kindness. I haven't felt so close to home in many, many years. «

»It is really time, now«, Mr. Tumbleweed says pointing at the circle of stones beneath the old willow tree. »Mr. Sideburns, are you ready? «

Claude Sideburns is cracking his finger joints and neck-bones.

»Ready, if you are, Mr. Tumbleweed. «

And so we are gathering around and under the long, hanging branches of the tree.

»Wolf Moon, Snow Moon, Worm Moon«, Mr. Tumbleweed starts to tell the names of the full moons like he did that night in the front yard of Brompton Castle. And every time he does so one of the symbols on one of the square stones in the circle starts to shine in a silvery light. Claude Sideburns hurries from one symbol to the next to push and press it down in the ground. And like before the stones start emitting flashes of lightning to the centre of the circle that happens to be the trunk of the willow tree.

»Pink Moon, Flower Moon, Strawberry Moon, Buck Moon, Sturgeon Moon and…«

Is the faun trying to make a dramatic pause?

»And… the most powerful of them all for spells and enchantments… the Blue Moon, followed by Full Corn Moon, Hunter's Moon, Beaver Moon and finally the Cold Moon. «

I can hear Kylie whisper to Nigel, »Did you count? Were that thirteen moons? Did you count thirteen, too? «

Nigel is only smirking and nodding.

The stones have sunken deeper into the earth around the willow tree and started spinning around in a blurred edge. The inner circle is filled with flashes now. They unite in little silvery and silent explosion and form a soothed and smooth surface in the end. At first this surface is as silver as the flashes, almost as clear as the waters of the silvery river, then, all of a sudden, the surface of the open gate turns pitch-black, a black hole in the world of Greenlion that is not reflecting the Cold Moon in the sky.

»What is that? « Kylie asks sceptically. »Is everything alright? Is it save? «

»Must be one of those dark, cloudy nights on the Brompton estates«, Sideburns says putting forth his foot as if he wants to dip into the black hole only with his toes first.

Kylie, Nigel, Sideburns and myself are standing close together and to the rotating edge of the circle of stones. The llama is standing a few steps behind us making strange and again unreadable faces.

I turn around to Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun.

»So, this is a goodbye, I think«, I say, »or do you we have to say farewell? «

Out of the corner of my eyes I see the llama turning sideways and starting to make a run-up.

»This whole thing is getting too sentimental for my taste, dudes«, the animal shouts. »Bye-bye, demon sheep! «

And with all its strength the animal bumps into us four human beings with its flank.

»Time for a new adventure! « I can hear the llama shout. »No risk, no fun! «

And we fall through the surface of the stone circle into complete darkness.

Today is Wednesday, the 27th of December 2023.
Cold Moon

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 26

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁🎇

"A Good Man Is Hard To Find (Bromford)"

It's cloudy out in Bromford, it's raining in Saigon
Snow's fallin' all across the Michigan line
Well she sits by the lights of her Christmas tree
With the radio softly on
Thinkin' how a good man is so hard to find

Well once she had a fella
Once she was somebody's girl
And she gave all she had that one last time
Now there's a little girl asleep in the back room
She's gonna have to tell about the meanness in this world
And how a good man is so hard to find

Well there's pictures on the table by her bed
Him in his dress greens and her in her wedding white
She remembers how the world was the day he left
And now how that world is dead
And a good man is so hard to find

She ain't got no time now for Casanovas
Yeah those days are gone
She don't want that anymore, she's made up her mind
Just somebody to hold her as the night gets on
When a good man is so hard to find

Well she shuts off the TV and without a word
And into bed she climbs
Well she thinks how it was all so wasted
And how expendable their dreams all were
When a good man was so hard to find

Well it's cloudy out in Bromford

Queen Titania is looking in my direction with a slight nod. Her beauty is breath-taking. Her skin has the colour of milk and honey. Her long, curly hair is golden as the sun. Her eyes resemble the silver light of the full moon.

»Thank you for bringing our friend Tumbleweed home«, she says.

»We only opened a gate in a circle of stones«, I answer.

»Some of us«, the llama says.

»More or less«, Claude Sideburns by my side adds.

But the Queen of the fairies is smiling and everything feels light and filled with invisible joy and laughter and singing.

»And you…«

The Queen is addressing the group of the captain, his first mate and the cook of the WaveEater; Ahabraham Hammock in particular.

»You brought me a special gift our middleman in your world took back from the infamous thief of San Antonio? «

Captain Hammock and his men are so close that I can hear him hiss, »Don't look at her! She is an enchantress. They say that a great sorceress lives in these woods. A fairy-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell and are never seen again. She will turn us into donkeys. That's what she will do. «

»Who says that? « the llama intervenes. »Gimli, son of Glóin? «

»Sneezewort, the Water Dragon? « Rilliam B. Wiker asks.

»Pikpok, the pirate? « Hollow Tummy suggests.

Queen Titania starts laughing, laughter as clear as a bell which makes her shine even brighter. Also it makes dozens of birds of all shapes and sizes fly up from the blooming trees of the nearby forest.

»And yet«, Captain Hammock mumbles, »now that I stand here in front of you it seems like you are looking me straight into the heart. You are making things easier and lighter. You are taking away the heaviness of the past years and all the dark clouds. It feels like a black vail came off my sorrows and worries, and my achy, breaky heart. «

He is untying the laced leather-bag from his belt and takes out the Amber Heart of the Sea.

The place by the silvery river and the shore of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea is filled with people and creatures and beings now. There are more fairies, bigger and smaller ones, most of them flying and buzzing above our heads like hummingbirds or bumblebees. And there are also fauns, half-human and half-goat like Mr. Tumbleweed, centaurs with four legs half-horse and half-human, and at the edge of the forest, I think I have seen a white unicorn watching us with shy curiosity. And they all fall silent and emit sounds of awe as the sunshine meets the amber jewel.

Captain Hammock is holding out the pendant on a thin chain.

»Your grace«, he is addressing Queen Titania with a bow of his head and upper body. »It is time to give back what is yours. May I? «

And he puts the chain around her neck.

I have never heard cheering that loud before. Everyone and everything starts screaming and shouting and laughing and singing full of joy as they see the Amber Heart of the Sea shine again on the chest of their Queen; every mystical being, the fairies, the fauns, the centaurs, even the fish and the Water Dragon in the sea in a distance, all the animals in the air, in the meadows and the woods, all the humans, me and my company, the old and the present crew of the not so present WaveEater. They start cheering and hugging and giving tribute to the queen and the captain who brought her back the finest piece of jewellery that was every crafted.

Queen Titania claps her hands and shouts out to Mr. Tumbleweed and his pan flute,

»Play us a song! We have something to celebrate here. «

»Are there parties in the Garden of Eden? « Nigel asks with shining eyes.

And we dance and feast through the morning, the day and into the evening and night of Greenlion and the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea.

Today is Tuesday, the 26th of December 2023.
Boxing Day / Second Christmas Day

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 25

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨🎁

"Looking For Bromford"

As I drove down the road to look for Bromford
Saw two young girls but left them standing there.
They were too late to get home on the underground
And probably too drunk, too drunk to care.

Can anyone tell me the way to Bromford?
I′ll ask them there, have they a job for me.
I'm not a fussy man, I can weed and hoe.
I′ll be her Adam, she can be my Eve.

And where on earth are all those songs of Bromford.

The fairy tales, the shepherds and wise men.
Just one old dosser lurching down Oxford Street
To spend his Christmas lying in the rain.

Don't anybody know the way to Bromford.
I'm tired of living my life in free-fall.
They say it′s somewhere out on the edge of town.
Perhaps it isn′t really there at all.

Looking for Bromford.

Bored of the life in the City of Gold
He'd left and let nobody know.
Gone were the towers he had known from a child,
Alone with the dream of a life
He travelled the wide open road,
The blinkered arcade,
In search of another to share in his life.
Nowhere.
Everyone looked so strange to him.

They've got no horns and they've got no tail
They don't even know of our existence.
Am I wrong to believe in a City of Gold
That lies in the deep distance, he cried

And wept as they led him away to a cage
Beast that can talk, read the sign.
The creatures they pushed and they prodded his frame
And questioned his story again.
But soon they grew bored of their prey
Beast that can talk?
More like a freak or publicity stunt.
Oh
No.

They've got no horns and they've got no tail
They don't even know of our existence.
Am I wrong to believe in a City of Gold
That lies in the deep distance, he cried

And broke down the door of the cage and marched on out.
He grabbed a creature by the scruff of his neck, pointing out:
There, beyond the bounds of you weak imagination
Lie the noble towers of my city, bright and gold.
Let me take you there, show you a living story
Let me show you others such as me
Why did I ever leave?

They've got no horns and they've got no tail
They don't even know of our existence
Am I wrong to believe in a City of Gold
That lies in the deep distance, he cried
And wept.

And so we set out with the beast and his horns
And his crazy description of home.
After many days journey we came to a peak
Where the beast gazed abroad and cried out.
We followed his gaze and we thought that maybe we saw
A spire of gold - no, a trick of the eye that's all,
But the beast was gone and a voice was heard:

They've got no horns and they've got no tail
They don't even know of our existence
Am I wrong to believe in a City of Gold
That lies in the deep distance

Hello friend, welcome home.

🎵🎵🎵

I haven't heard that song for quite some time now. And this time it is not a little balding Englishman who is singing this song with his shrinking band in the 1970s. It is a clear woman's voice accompanied by an almost angelic choir.

»Are we in Heaven? «

Is that the hoarse voice of the llama?

»Shut up! «

That is Nigel's voice, definitely,

»We are not dead, animal. «

»But we are not in New York, either, human cub. «

»But we are in a Fairytale. «

That is a third voice that I don't recognize.

Is it time to open my eyes? Do I want to open my eyes? I am still feeling a little wet and damp. But I can also feel the warmth of the sun on my skin drying my clothes and bones. A soft hand is touching my cheek.

I open my eyes. It is Kylie. She is smiling and sitting right next to me in the grass.

»I knew you were awake. «

I sit up, leaning back on my forearms. We are at the green and sandy beach of that big island called Greenlion. From a little cove with the mouth of a silvery river I can take a look at the quiet ocean where the big fight took place yesterday - or wasn't it yesterday? - and where the two sailing ships sank. I look up and down the beach. There are other people here, and lots of flotsam and jetsam, most of it debris from the WaveEater and the Black Star. But everything is calm and quiet, no panic, no despair and no injured cries of the survivors.

Nigel, Kylie's son, and Claude Sideburns, the elderly resident of Brompton Castle, are waving at me from a little distance. The llama is showing me its big yellow teeth. Is that a smile or some kind of threating gesture? I decide and choose the first option.

Captain Ahabraham, Mr. Tummy, the cook, and Mr. Wiker, the first mate of the WaveEater are also here. They are standing in a circle silently discussing something with a lot of gestures.

As I look up and down the beach again there are more people here, keeping a greater distance to Hammock and his men, I presume. I think they are survivors of the Black Star and former members of the crew of the WaveEater.

»Come on. «

Kylie is helping me up taking my hand.

Behind my back Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, is standing on a little green hill, facing the sun with his eyes closed. As we approach I can see a satisfied smile on his face.

»Thank you«, he says, »looks like we made it. «

Kylie is whispering in my ear, »He is looking younger, don't you think? Looks like he has lost his beard. Makes him look less goat-like, if you ask me. «

From the hill we have got a fabulous view on the landscape in the interior of Greenlion. And here they are, the promised green hills and meadows, light forests with blooming trees and flowers and in the not so far distance on the horizon, between mountains and peaks the walls and buildings and gigantic towers of the City of Gold.

On a hardly recognizable road a smaller group of people is walking and approaching, led by a tall man and a just as big woman. But are they really man and woman? They have pointed ears and are surrounded by an unhuman glow as we can tell as they come towards Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun.

»A merrier hour was never wasted there«, Tumbleweed whispers. »But room, fairy, here comes Oberon. «

The male and the female being are wearing magnificent and ornate clothes like woven from leaves and flowers, knitted from grass and trees' bark embedded with golden threads, and jewellery made of stones and fruits including crowns made of little oiled and polished twigs on their heads.

»Meet my lieges«, Mr. Tumbleweed says to us as they are standing in front of each other, all bowing in honour, »Oberon, King of the fairies, and Titania, his and our Queen. «

With melodic voices like ringing and tolling bells the fairies say, »Hello friend, welcome home. »

And for some reason Kylie is taking my arm and whispering in my ear, »And Merry Christmas to us all! «

Today is Monday, the 25th of December 2023.
Christmas Day

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 24

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄🧨

 
"Fairytale Of Bromford"

It was Christmas Eve, babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me
"Won't see another one"
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So, Happy Christmas
I love you, baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

They've got cars big as bars, they've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the old
When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty, Queen of Bromford City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging
All the drunks, they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the Bromford PD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You're a bum, you're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead
On a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap, lousy faggot
Happy Christmas, your arse
I pray God it's our last

The boys of the BromfordPD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day

"I could have been someone"
Well, so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me, babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you

The boys of the Bromford PD choir
Still singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells are ringing out
For Christmas day

»It's Christmas Eve somewhere and in Minneapolis«, Nigel whimpers. »We shouldn't be here. «

»And I wish, I had never mentioned Captain Ahab and his obsessions«, Kylie says in a faltering voice. »This cannot end well and with a happy ending for us and our Pequod. Our Captain Ahabraham has got more than one white whale. «

»Are you talking about Moby Dick again? « the llama asks. »How did that novel end? I have never read the ending. Too much whaling in it for my taste and if you want my opinion. «

»Fire! «

»Fire! «

»Fire! «

Three waves of cannon balls are flying over from the Black Star. I can see the explosions in the cannon barrels and smell the burnt gunpowder and smoke.

One of the cannon balls is passing by my head and hitting the main mast. And these aren't regular cannon balls. They are not made from stone, iron or lead. They are all made of glass; glass spheres the size of an average human head.

»Duck and cover«, Claude Sideburns, resident of Brompton Castle shouts out.

Also shouting is Mr. Rilliam B. Wiker, the first mate and officer of the WaveEater.

»Evasive maneuvers! Turn to the main continent! «

He is turning the steering wheel from one side to the other and around and around but there is no one left to execute his commands.

The cannon balls of glass have hit all crucial parts of the sailing ship. All three masts are breaking with loud splintering noises. The sails are in tatters. And from under deck I can hear the sounds of water entering the hull from leaking holes the cannon balls have torn into the ship's walls.

»Where are the rescue boats? To the by-boats! « Claude Sideburns shouts.

»There are no by-boats! « Mr. Tummy shouts back. »The deserters of the crew took them, do you remember? There is no rescue. «

»But I am too young to die«, the llama cries. »Too old to rock 'n' roll, but too young to die. «

In all this mayhem Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, is standing motionless in the fore peak or beak head of the WaveEater. Behind his back on the bow stem must be the figurehead of this ship if it has one. I never had the chance to find out.

'The figurehead is a mermaid', I can hear Tumbleweed whisper in my head.

It seems like he is kind of shocked and also fascinated by the chaos and destruction around him. He is observing and yet not able to understand that this is happening so close to his home.

And Captain Ahabraham Hammock? He is kneeling near the railing between quarter deck and the main deck a few feet underneath, praying. His folded hands are clinging tight to the Amber Heart of the Sea.

The Black Star is close now. Instead of firing another volley of cannon balls Captain Pikpok's men who for the most part used to be Captain Hammock's men before are preparing to bring out the enter planks to board and invade the WaveEater, their former ship.

Everything seems to be hopeless.

A huge wave hits me square in the face. As I turn around I can almost sense how close we are to the Continent of Greelion now. Too close, stuck between sinking and drowning and running aground at the same time. And everything will wreck the ship.

Within the fraction of a second I try to calculate my chances. What can save me? What can save my life? Jumping over board into the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea? Trying to reach the shore of Greenlion? Jumping on the Black Star? Or is there another option?

The WaveEater is filling up with water faster and faster and lists. It is leaning heavily to the starboard side. I wonder how long I will be able to keep myself standing on my feet.

And suddenly I notice something new in the water. There are not only the two ships and the mainland and a few little scattered islands. There is also something else moving through the water, a huge snake-like body moving up and down in snaky waves and loops.

Just as a strong jolt is running through the WaveEater and I have to grab and hold on to the railing or otherwise I had fallen from the ship, Sneezewort, the water dragon emerges from the ocean next to the two ships. With head raised high he is looking around. Black clouds break up and let the setting sun shine on the friendly green face of the mystical being. He looks like some kind of nice dog with a long snout and some additional green and brown reptile-like warts and spikes. The rest of his body is like that of a giant snake with shimmering scales. I cannot see if he has got additional limbs like arms or legs.

Almost smiling he is looking around curiously attracted by the mayhem and all kinds of movements of the people and beings on the two ships until he notices Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, still standing at the bow of the WaveEater. Sneezewort is leaning closer, almost bowing to the faun. And after a short, wordless and maybe telepathic conversation between the two of them the Water Dragon turns around.

»Yes, monster! « That is Captain Pikpok's loud and booming voice again. His white appearance is shining even brighter in the light of the sun. »Turn around! Get lost! There is nothing here for you! The Amber Heart of the Sea is mine! All mine! Can you hear me? «

Sneezewort is diving. His big, loop-shaped body is disappearing under water. But only for a brief moment in time. With all strength he is shooting up himself back from the deep of the ocean. And in a huge fountain of saltwater and splintering wood he is landing on the front half of the Black Star. The mystical creature is taking another dive. And as he emerges next from the floods he is aiming for a screaming Captain Pikpok himself. Sneezewort is swallowing the pirate as a whole, taking the rest of the Black Star with him to the ground of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea, crushing and grinding the ship within the coils of his body.

I am dangling from the railing of the remains of the breaking WaveEater. Around me I can hear and see people scream and shout and splashing into the water. As I cannot hold on to the shipwreck any longer I let got, trying to swim, to avoid pieces of debris of the sunken ships and to keep my head up to be able to breathe. Finally I grab something floating next to me, and totally exhausted and with a last look on a setting sun on the horizon I lose my consciousness.

And all the night goes silent.

Today is Sunday, the 24th of December 2023
Fourth Sunday of Advent / Christmas Eve

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 23

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄🎄

"Christmas Card From a Hooker in Bromford"

Hey Charley I'm pregnant
And living on 9-th street
Right above a dirty bookstore
Off Euclid avenue
And I stopped taking dope
And I quit drinking whiskey
And my old man plays the trombone
And works out at the track.

And he says that he loves me
Even though it's not his baby
And he says that he'll raise him up
Like he would his own son
And he gave me a ring
That was worn by his mother
And he takes me out dancin'

Every Saturday nite.


And hey Charley I think about you
Everytime I pass a fillin' station
On account of all the grease
You used to wear in your hair
And I still have that record
Of little Anthony & The Imperials

But someone stole my record player
How do you like that?

Hey Charley I almost went crazy
After Mario got busted
So I went back to Omaha to
Live with my folks
But everyone I used to know

Was either dead or in prison
So I came back to Bromford
This time I think I'm gonna stay.

Hey Charley I think I'm happy
For the first time since my accident
And I wish I had all the money
That we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot

And I wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car
Every day dependin on how
I feel.


Hey Charley
For Chrissakes
Do you want to know
The truth of it?
I don't have a husband
He don't play the trombone
And I need to borrow money
To pay this lawyer
And Charley, hey
I'll be eligible for parole
Come Valentine's Day.

»London Bridge is falling down. «

I don't understand this whispered curse and who is whispering it. Sideburns? Kylie?

And all of a sudden - I know I am using this phrase a lot - out of the thick black clouds surrounded by lightning and thunder breaks a giant ship with black sails, more than twice as big as the WaveEater. The ship is black all over, masts and sails, hull and everything, with only one exception. Flying on the mainmast there is one single white spot, a white flag with a big and black five-pointed star on it. The ship, Wiker called the Black Star earlier, is turning to us, pointing a battery of umpteen dark cannon barrels at us from openings in the length of the ship.

»Who said the WaveEater was the mightiest ship on all of the seven seas, or even eight seas - including the Kollobita´´rtainnen? « Nigel asks over the roaring thunder. »Over there is one even mightier yet. «

»There is always a bigger ship«, the llama calls back. »Or is it a boat? «

»Let's not go there«, I shout.

The WaveEater is rolling and swaying again from one side to the other, from portside to starboard, in the upcoming storm and the waves coming from the other ship.

»Hammock! « A deep and threatening voice interlayered with a watery gurgling is coming from the Black Star. »Come out and hand over the Amber Heart of the Sea! «

Like a shadow at sunset the pirate ship is getting bigger and approaching, almost soundless.

»Hammock! Your men are awaiting you! «

Mr. Tummy is trembling with fear and excitement.

»There he is«, he is whimpering. »That is Captain Pikpok! «

On the quarter deck near the wheel of the Black Star stands an impressive man. He is the Pirate of all pirates like being ripped off the pages of an adventure tale, a tall and imposing figure, long hair and long bushy beard, wearing a Tricorn hat and an eye patch and holding out a broad saber in his left hand. But one thing makes Mister Pikpok exceptional. The whole man is white from head to toe. And I am not talking about the pinkish white skin of Caucasian people. Captain Pikpok is of a clean and dazzling white, shining bright. White clothes, white boots, a white Tricorn, white skin and long white beard and hair blowing in the wind, and a white eyepatch. Even his one visible eye is white in white so that you cannot distinguish between eyeball and iris. Only his one visible pupil is of a bottomless pitch black and shows you where he is looking or what he is looking at. And oh, that grim determination on his face.

»Hammock, come out! Don't make me count to three! «

And he doesn't have to start counting.

Our Captain Ahabraham Hammock has torn open the door between navigation room and quarter deck of the WaveEater. His shining bald-head is reflecting the flashes of lightning. He is holding the Amber Heart of the Sea on a chain in the fist of his right hand, high above his head.

»You«, he shouts across to the Black Star, »and that demon worm of yours, go back to the hell you ascended from. You will never get this artful piece of craftsmanship, and neither will that blonde witch of Queen Titania. Only over my dead body! «

»As you wish«, Captain Pikpok growls and turns around shouting orders at his crew, »Prepare to board the WaveEater! Throw the grappling hooks! Pull out the planks! Fire the cannons! «

Today is Saturday, the 23rd of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 22

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄⛄

"Dark Streets Of Bromford"

I like to walk in the summer breeze
Down Dalling Road by the dead old trees
And drink with my friends
In the Hammersmith Broadway
Dear dirty delightful old drunken old days

Then the winter came down and I loved it so dearly
The pubs and the bookies where you'd spend all your time
And the old men that were singing
When the roses bloom again
And turn like the leaves
To a new summertime

Now the winter comes down
I can't stand the chill
That comes to the streets around Christmas time
And I'm buggered to damnation
And I haven't got a penny
To wander the dark streets of Bromford


Every time that I look on the first day of summer
Takes me back to the place where they gave ECT
And the drugged up psychos
With death in their eyes
And how all of this really
Means nothing to me

Now the winter comes down
I can't stand the chill
That comes to the streets around Christmas time
And I'm buggered to damnation
And I haven't got a penny
To wander the dark streets of Bromford

Every time that I look on the first day of summer
Takes me back to the place where they gave ECT
And the drugged up psychos
With death in their eyes
And how all of this really
Means nothing to me


Now the winter comes down
I can't stand the chill
That comes to the streets around Christmas time
And I'm buggered to damnation
And I haven't got a penny
To wander the dark streets of Bromford
To wander the dark streets of Bromford
To wander the dark streets of Bromford

»Kus…«, I almost spoke the animal's name out loud. »Llama! «

»Oh, come on«, the animal says. »I was just kidding. Everything was getting so tense and dark. Why so dark? We are not in the DC universe. I am the llama. I am funny. You have got to love me. My name is KussKuss because I like to kiss kiss. Call me by my name. «

The animal is pursing its lips.

»Come on, let's do the Harlem shuffle and kiss, kiss… Mwah! Mwah! «

»Cut the nonsense, animal! And you, Mr. Wiker, could you please finally tell us. Who attacked you? Who is the greatest terror or horror and the greatest threat of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea? «

»It is Captain Pikpok«, the first mate says looking frowning at his shoes. And as we are not reacting the way he has expected he goes on explaining, »Captain Pikpok, the dreadful pirate, on his ghost-ship, The Black Star. «

»Don't say his name! « Mr. Tummy is looking all around as if Wiker could call pirate and ship right by our sides only by speaking out the names. »The Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea is calm most of the times. But storms come out of nothing. And with these storms comes the pirate and his ship. And more and more members of our crew disappear. «

»Not much left of our crew. Only the three of us. The first ones left and joined Pikpok right after that first attack when they saw how powerful he and his ship were. The last ones only yesterday or the day before during the latest storm and attack. The rest is superstition, if you want my opinion. «

»So this Black Star has a crew? « Nigel intervenes. »But isn't a ghost ship - also known as a phantom ship - a vessel with no living crew aboard? «

»It appears«, Tummy cries out in terror, »out of thin air. Like a ghost. «

»Do you know this Captain Pikpok? « I turn to Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun.

»He is not one of us«, the faun says stamping one foot on the wooden ground. »Never heard of him. But as I told you before, I have been dwelling your world for hundreds of centuries without any contact to my kind. «

»He lay in wait for us in a small bay near the cove where we lay eyes on Queen Titania and her entourage, with his creepy ship, black sails and clouds, storms and heavy sea and everything. In thunder and lightning he yelled at us to take down the sails and to hand over the WaveEater with all its goods and valuables. We should surrender or swallow and drink the salty water of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea till our near and wet graves. And for whatever reason Captain Hammock took out the Amber Heart of the Sea from its leather bag. Pikpok saw it and went all crazy and furious. He cursed and swore that he would get that in the flashes of lightning sparkling gem or die trying. Since that day - or was it a night? - he has kept following and attacking us at every possible moment. He lured most of our men to join his crew. And only by sheer luck we survived and escaped until today. «

»Bon hiver! Bon hiver! «

What is Mr. Tummy, the ship's cook's shout supposed to mean? Is it a kind of warning? He has gone all pale. His eyes and mouth are wide open in awe and terror and he is whispering without closing or moving his lips.

»You have cursed it, jinxed it. You have called it. You have summoned it. «

His eyes, mouth and hands are pointing at a black cloudbank in front of us and in front of our ship, the WaveEater.

Today is Friday, the 22nd of December 2023.
Beginning of Winter

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 21

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄

"Angel of Bromford"

It was a cold and wet December day
When we touched the ground at JFK
Snow was melting on the ground
On BLS I heard the sound
Of an angel

New York, like a Christmas tree
Tonight this city belongs to me
Angel

Soul love, this love won't let me go
So long, angel of Bromford

Birdland on fifty-three
The street sounds like a symphony
We got John Coltrane and a love supreme
Miles, and she's got to be an angel

Lady Day got diamond eyes
She sees the truth behind the lies
Angel


Soul love, this love won't let me go
So long, angel of Bromford
Angel of Bromford

She says it's heart, heart and soul
Yeah, yeah (yeah)
Yeah, yeah (right now)

Blue light on the avenue
God knows they got to you
An empty glass, the lady sings
Eyes swollen like a bee sting

Blinded you lost your way
Through the side streets and the alleyway
Like a star exploding in the night
Falling to the city in broad daylight

An angel in Devil's shoes
Salvation in the blues
You never looked like an angel
Yeah, yeah, angel of Bromford
Angel, angel of Bromford

After a silent night - which strangely was also filled by a sort of rumbling vibration like from a Buffalo galloping by over the vast meadows of the prairie, at the same time - we four humans, Kylie, Nigel, Claude Sideburns and myself, and the walking and talking llama are gathering with Mr. Tummy, the ship's cook, and Mr. Wiker, the first mate on deck again.

We can hear Captain Ahabraham Hammock rummaging, mumbling and cursing in his cabin under deck as he did the whole night through.

Mr. Tummy is serving another breakfast, a lot of fruits this time. Some look familiar like apples or oranges. Some look slightly off, like blue bananas or pineapples with a hairy, fibery perm at the top. Others I have never seen, yellow cube-shaped things with black dots and one spiral-shaped with different layers in all colours of the rainbow.

»You have to taste them«, Mr. Tummy assures us. »They grow on the countless and nameless little islands around here. And they all taste marvellous. «

Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, is standing in the bow of the ship. He has spent the night awake under the strange stars of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea.

As I take a closer look at our surroundings it seems to me that the WaveEater has moved in the darkness. We are now slowly bobbing between the scattered little islands the remaining crew has mentioned earlier. And on the horizon, hidden in the thick, white fog I suspect the continent of Greenlion.

As if Mr. Tumbleweed had read my thoughts he turns around to me with a wink in this eyes and nodding.

»So«, William B. Wiker says after a short while of silence, »now you know our story and how it is and was for the last few days or weeks or maybe centuries. «

»We are cursed«, Mr. Tummy adds. »But the fruits are delicious. «

»Fruits in springtime. « Mr. Wiker is closing his eyes. »For it is always springtime in the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea. «

»But the shrubs and bushes and trees are blooming and bearing fruits at the same time«, says Tummy, the cook. »Like in the Garden of Eden. We will not hunger and thirst. «

Nigel spits out, »Salty! «

He has tasted one of the spiral-shaped rainbow-fruits.

»Garden of Eden? « Claude Sideburns asks, »And it is cursed and haunted by a giant snake you call a Water Dragon? «

»It is not that simple«, the first mate sighs. »Yes, we have been attacked after our first visit to that cove where we saw all those mystical creatures and maybe Queen Titania of the fairies herself. But it wasn't Sneezewort, the Water Dragon, who attacked the WaveEater afterwards. «

»He is one of us. «

Mr. Tumbleweed is suddenly standing behind us.

»We met him a short time after that«, Tummy says. »Or a long time. Who knows? He seemed to be only curious, almost friendly. «

Wiker continues, »The worst and the saddest thing is, the captain is mixing things up. Yes, we have been attacked. Yes, five or more men of our crew disappeared, but they were not swallowed. They just left and joined the crew of another ship. «

»The poor captain snapped«, Tummy cries out.

»But the attacker was a different one. The Water Dragon is not the biggest threat in the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea. And it is not the giant snake that is after the Amber Heart of the Sea. «

»If it is not this Dragon«, I ask, »who or what is the greatest terror and the greatest threat of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea? «

»It is Cliff! «

We are all turning to the llama.

»The good old evil Cliff Hanger. Don't you know him? «

Today is Thursday, the 21st of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 20

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄

"Bromford Soldier"

Bromford soldier, dreadlocked rasta
There was a Bromford Soldier in the heart of America
Stolen from Africa, brought to America
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival

I mean it, when I analyse the stench
To me it makes a lot of sense
How the dreadlocked rasta was a Bromford Soldier

And he was taken from Africa, brought to America
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Said he was a Bromford Soldier, dreadlocked rasta
Bromford Soldier in the heart of America

If you know your history
Then you would know where you're coming from
Then you wouldn't have to ask me
Who the 'eck do I think I am?

I'm just a Bromford Soldier in the heart of America
Stolen from Africa, brought to America
Said he was fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Said he was a Bromford Soldier, win the war for America


Said he, woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy yoy, yoy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy yoy, yoy yoy-yoy yoy

Bromford Soldier troddin' through the land, wo-ho-ooh
Said he want to ran and then you want a hand
Troddin' through the land, yea-hea, yea-ea

Said he was a Bromford Soldier in the war for America
Bromford Soldier, dreadlocked Rasta
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Driven from the mainland to the heart of the Caribbean

Said he, woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy yoy, yoy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy yoy, yoy yoy-yoy yoy

Trodding through San Juan
In the arms of America
Trodding through Jamaica, a Bromford Soldier
Fighting on arrival, fighting for survival
Bromford Soldier, dreadlock rasta

Woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy yoy, yoy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy
Woy yoy yoy yoy, yoy yoy-yoy yoy

Captain Hammock is running away from us across the deck.

»Oh, my goodness, he is Captain Ahab«, Kylie remarks, »and it looks like he has found his white whale. «

»The captain's first name is Ahabraham, not Ahab«, Tummy, the ship's cook insists.

»And mum, White Wales sounds like a national and racist organisation in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland«, Nigel says.

»White whale, not white Wales. What did I send you to college for again? « Kylie asks her son. »Sometimes you still say silly things. Has no-one here read Herman Melville's 'Moby Dick'? «

»We have, my friend, we have«, I say. »And a faun is not a Klingon peacock. And this Pequod here is called the WaveEater. So how can we get out of this miserable situation? «

I turn to Rilliam B. Wiker, the first mate.

»Any chance that Hammock will change his mind? Will he return to the island of Greenlion and give that Amber Heart of the Sea back to this King Oberon and Queen Titania soon? Any chance that we can bring Mr. Tumbleweed home and start looking for a way out of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea? «

»Nevermore! Nevermore, you heathens who have never seen Jerusalem! «

The thin, bald-headed captain with the long beard has climbed the highest mast to the lookout of the ship, the crow's nest.

»I hear everything you say! I cannot and I will not return the pendant to the fairies. Not till I rid of this realm from the terror of the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea. Until that the Amber Heart of the Sea is safest with me! «

He is holding out the laced leather-bag with the piece of jewellery in it.

»Noooooooooooo! « he utters a disappointed cry. »The beast is escaping again. «

The giant snake-like body at the horizon has dived deeper for a last time and out of sight, leaving only ripples and nervous seagulls where the tip of his tail has disappeared.

And the sun of this bloomy and rotten world is sinking again.

The captain has knotted the leather-bag back to his belt and comes climbing down the mast again.

Mr. Wiker whispers, »The madness weakens in the evenings and at night times. «

»Under deck! « the captain commands not tolerating any contradiction. »Mr. Tummy, show our guests to some hammocks! Get some sleep! Tomorrow we have to be ready! «

Today is Wednesday, the 20th of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 19

 🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄

"Bromford"

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?

And did the Countenance Divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Bromford builded here
Among these dark satanic mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear: O clouds unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!

I will not cease from mental fight
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built Bromford
In England's green and pleasant land

»Look! You can see him diving! His ugly skin is shining slimy green in the sunlight of this never-ending springtime. «

»Son of a Hollywood bitch«, Tummy, the cook, is cursing.

On the horizon I can see four or five windings of an enormous dark green body diving into and out of the calm, turquoise water. It is causing bigger waves in the distant that become merely ripples as they hit the side wall of the WaveEater. No sound is to be heard but a faint splashing and the inevitable screams of seagulls.

»What are we looking at? « I ask. »What kind of animal is that? Looks like a giant snake. «

»That is him«, the captain yells jumping up and down in excitement, »my archenemy, my nemesis. It is the greatest threat of the whole Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea. It's he who attacked us after we rowed away from the naked bunch and the dangerous blonde witch. And it's him who is after the Amber Heart of the Sea. «

»Some kind of worm? « the llama asks, also jumping up and down with all four legs to have a better view.

»See Sneezewort, the mighty Water Dragon! He costed me five of my men when he first attacked, swallowed them whole, that monstrous beast. «

Captain Hammock turns around and barks commands in Rilliam B. Wiker's face who is standing right in front of him.

»Number One! Man the posts! Set Sails! Let row the oars! This time he won't get away! This time we will catch the beast! «

»Captain«, the first mate tries to calm down the situation. »We don't have enough wind to set sails. «

»The lull«, Mr. Tummy adds. »Remember the lull? «

»And we don't have enough men to man the oars. The rest of the crew left the ship by the by-boats.

»Mutiny! That is mutiny! «

»It is more like desertion«, Mr. Wiker says quietly.

»So let the stowaways row! Or do you want me to jump overboard and push the WaveEater to its destination? «

Today is Tuesday, the 19th of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 18

🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄

"Bromford Bitch"

You're on the outside, you're lookin' in
You're takin' pictures of what you never been
So kill to kill, so ya wanna die?
You're burnin' slowly - with seven lives

Blow up the bitch with the firecracker smile
Switchblade in her suitcase, loves to drive 'em wild
So kill to kill, yeah ya gonna die
Everybody's searchin' - every single night

You'll never keep it 'cause you sold yourself
And by the way
You'll never lose it 'cause you never had it
It's all the same...

Rock star life - turn on the switch
Hollywood bitch
So fake that it seems real (she goes again)
So fake that it seems real (she goes again)

She's from the "Westside", she's lookin' thin
She fills her body with what she'll never be
So kill to kill, so you wanna die?
Everybody's searchin - every single night

Blow up the bitch with the firecracker smile
Switchblade in her suitcase, loves to drive 'em wild
So kill to kill, yeah ya gonna die
Everybody's searchin' - every single night

You'll never keep it 'cause you sold yourself
And by the way
You'll never lose it 'cause you never had it
It's all the same...

You'll never keep it 'cause you sold yourself
And by the way
You'll never lose it 'cause you never had it
It's all the same...

You'll never keep it 'cause you sold yourself
And by the way
You'll never lose it 'cause you never had it
It's all the same...

»And Paris took the Apple of Discord and gave it to Helena of Troy, or Eve and Adam, if it suits you better. «

This captain's comment makes Rilliam B. Wiker frown.

»As the WaveEater approached the peaceful cove where a silvery river flows into the ocean…«

»Mouth, they call it a mouth of the river for good reasons«, Captain Ahabraham Hammock adds. »All these beasts and monsters. «

»We heard music and singing and laughing. The sweetest melodies of flutes and lyres filled the air and were to be heard from a great distance. Beautiful people where dancing around trees and in the grass of the green meadows. Others were bathing in the waters of the river and the ocean. «

»And they were all naked! « the Captain shouts out. »And only from a distance we mistook them for women and men. «

He is still facing the ocean and talking so loud as if he isn't talking to us.

»We saw creatures like you«, Wiker is looking at the faun, »with horns and tails, only half-human, half-goat, others with four legs, half-horses, beautiful women with fishtails - mermaids come alive. And there were beings almost as big as humans with pointed ears and big dragonfly wings on their backs. One of them, a slim, tall female with floor-length golden hair was the centre of all the joys and amusements. And she was singing the clearest and the highest notes.«

»And they were flying«, the captain yells. »Against all nature they came flying towards the ship, the demons. They wanted us to believe we were in Paradise, but in fact it is Hell we are sailing since yesterday and also for countless years. «

»They were no flying demons«, Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, points out. »I think they were some of the larger fairies, almost as big as you humans. And I bet the stranger in the alley who gave you the Amber Heart of the Sea was a fairy, too, one of the secret agents send by King Oberon and Queen Titania to guard and watch over all magical connection between both of our worlds. «

»Not a man, that stranger«, Mr. Tummy agrees, »that's what I always thought. «

»The captain commanded us to turn around the WaveEater without delivering our freight. And then he attacked us…«

»Who attacked you? « Nigel asks.

»The greatest threat of the whole Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea, the fiercest and most malignant monster you have ever seen. And there he is! Just look at the horizon. «

Captain Hammock's voice has become all quiet and alarming at the same time. And we all follow his pointing right hand with our eyes.

Today is Monday, the 18th of December 2023.

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 17

 🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🧨

 
"The Commune de Bromford"

[Scene 2 "The Commune De Bromford"]

[RINGMASTER]
The Monarchy restored
The crown sits tilted and uneasy now
The Girondins, one eye cocked nervous in the East,
Are loath to bring it down

[TROUBLEMAKER]
But at the gates
Beyond the palsied grip of limp and timid politics
The Marseillais are girded for the fray
With pike and pick and bloodied stick
They'll plant the laurel tree
And their song will be a fanfare for the Commune de Bromford...

»Monsters! We didn't see and know the monsters under the sea and on land, yet! We had too much joy and pleasure. The fruits and the freshwater were too sweet. Forbidden, we tasted the forbidden fruits. «

Captain Ahabraham Hammock is still standing at the railing of the WaveEaterand searching the horizon.

Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, joins the conversation again, »Why didn't you bring the Amber Heart of the Sea to my Lord and Lady at once? Why do you still keep it on this ship? «

»Why is it always foggy in London town? « The captain spits out. »And look who's asking now. Don't think I didn't see your horns and tail, beast. Go on, Number One, and tell them the rest of the story so far. Tell them what happened next. «

»A seagull delivered a note«, the first officer continued, »written on rolled parchment paper tied with a strand of long golden hair. «

»Mylady Titania«, Mr. Tumbleweed sighs.

»We should meet the Queen herself in a cove in the South of the Greenlion continent and hand over the piece of jewellery to get our rewards. «

»A coconut cove? « the llama asks. »Mmh, I love coconuts, all crispy and crunchy. «

I shake my head signalling the animal to be quiet.

»There were no coconuts«, Mr. Tummy says. »But lots of other things and creatures to be seen. «

Today is Sunday, the 17th of December 2023.
Third Sunday of Advent

Bromfords of the Kollobita´´rtainnen - Part 16

 🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🤶🎄🎄🎄🧨🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

"Bromford Girl"

Bromford Girl

Bromford Girl

Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl

Do you know what you're looking for?
Streets of gold, fame and fortune?
You didn't fancy working in a factory
But your mum and dad didn't agree

Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl

You slept on Waterloo station at first
But now you've moved to a posher squat
You wonder where your next meal will come from
Still it's better than living at home

Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl

You're looking tired 'cause it's been three weeks
Since you changed your clothes or washed your feet
But you're learning fast all the time
How to cadge cigarettes and pills

Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl
Bromford Girl

I don't condemn what you done
I know what it is to be young
You're only searching for today
To see the answers about yesterday
And I hope you find

»In the third night after we left the harbour of Quantico a Flower Moon rose from the sea in the East«, Rilliam Wiker continues. »I am sure it was the biggest and brightest I have ever seen.

»Haven't seen a bigger one since Antioch«, Tummy adds. »And there were two of them, one in the dark sky and another one mirrored in the quiet, black ocean. «

»Soon there were three of them«, Wiker picks up the story. »Good winds had carried us far from Quantico until this moment. When the moon arose the WaveEater stood perfectly still. The captain brought out the Amber Heart of the Sea and freed it from the leather bag. He held it out towards the moon with his arm outstretched. And the piece of jewellery began to shine like I have never seen anything shine before. «

»Just as bright as the full-moon. «

Wiker nods, »Almost as bright as the moon itself. And within all this pale and yet bright light a fog rolled in. And the ship began to move again, although there was no wind at all and the sails hung down just like now. «

»A lull. «

Wiker is nodding again. »Yes, a lull. But the WaveEater was moving forward, slowly, but deeper into the thickening fog. And all of a sudden the moon was behind the ship, not in front of it any longer. And that's how we entered the Kollobita´´rtainnen Sea. «

Mr. Tumbleweed, the faun, is staring at the first mate with an unreadable grin on his face. »You left your world and entered mine«, he says. »I wish you could have brought me with you then. «

»The next day we were surrounded by these strange blue-green waters and scattered little islands full of the strangest and sweetest fruits and full of fountains of freshwater. And the sun shone on the biggest and greenest islands of them all, the island we now know as the continent and realm of Greenlion. «

Today is Saturday, the 16th of December 2023.