Longer Costumes …

My smartphone is ringing.

'Hello?'

'You do not own a smartphone, you old dinosaur!'

It's the llama. I really do not know how it manages to hide its number each and everytime.

'Where are you, dude?'

'I am here at Harry's Last-Minute Costumes rental, exactly where you send me half an hour ago, animal.'

'Goody, goody, goody. Bring me one, bring me one.'

'May I help you?'

That is an employee of the costumes rental shop, maybe the famous Harry himself. He is wearing a shirt with big, colourful stripes and a red plasticnose in the middle of his face.

'What can I do for you.'

I take a deep breath.

'Do you have costumes for animals?' I ask.

'Yes, Sir!'

The obese man is smiling all over his face.

'We have catwoman costumes for dogs and werewolf costumes for cats. You can have little reindeer horns and ears, capes, shoes, funny glasses with fake noses, everything you like, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Twenty-four seven as they say.'

His smile has become even brighter.

'Turn on the speaker! Turn on the speaker!' I can hear the llama shout from the phone in my hand.

'It's not a dog', I try to explain. 'And it is no cat. It is a llama.'

'Well, yes, sure', the man is twisting his plasticnose. 'And what kind of masquerade do you have in mind for your… your…'

'Llama', I say. 'It is a llama. And you can ask it yourself.'

'Hey, minion!'

The llama's voice sounds even ruder and unfriendlier through the phone and from the bottom of the elevator shaft.

'What do you have in store, man? And Bromford, turn on the camera! I want to see the face of that old shoplifter!'

I do as I am told.

'Well', the man says. 'We have got that jumpsuit with the black arms and legs and the white, woollen chest and hood. You could use the arm sleeves for your front legs and the legs for your… your… hind legs.'

'And look like a sheep?' The llama is not amused. 'I do not want to be a sheep.'

'Well', the shopkeeper is kind of shouting at my smartphone. 'We have got a firefighter costume or a sexy policeman uniform.'

'No hats and no helmets, humans! I am a pacifistic llama and I will wear no uniforms. Bromford, please hurry before the carnival season is over.'

Why, I ask myself, do I always let it bring me into these kind of situations?

'Please, animal, what do you want?'

'I want to be a lawyer.' The animal is almost singing. 'And I want to be a millionaire.'

'And what do you think a millionaire should be wearing, animal?'

'Whatever he wants, dude!' the animal replies. 'Maybe a tuxedo with bow-tie and cummerbund and everything.'

Suddenly I can feel two flat hands in my back. The shopkeeper, may he be Harry or not, is pushing me out of the frontdoor of Harry's Last-Minute Costumes Rental.

'Sorry, Sir', he says. 'We have got kind of an emergency here. I can hear my associate call from the storage. We have to close earlier today.'

Thank you, I mouth in his direction still discussing with the llama on the phone.

'What do you need a costume for anyway? You silly artiodactyl are still on the elevator cabin down in the elevator shaft. Nobody will see you wearing a costume down there, animal.'

'It's carnival season, dude. She Was Killed by Space Junk. What else do I have to say?'

And if we did not stop it we are still arguing in the streets of Bromford via phone.

And the fortune cookie says,

You can also just laugh about it.

Today is Sunday, the 23rd of February 2020.