Bromford Below - Part 15

 

What is going on? This trip is becoming a nightmare. And the lead is dwindling. I always wanted to use these words without knowing if I am using them correct under these circumstances.

»My name is Sawyer«, the man in this next waggon says approaching with his right hand out for a shake. »May I interest you in buying some real estate or a Hawai'ian Island? Not very expensive and you'll have the whole island for yourselves. Your own private piece of paradise.«

How can a con-man can what a con-man can? I don't need more riddles.

»And Sawyer is your first or your last name?« the llama asks.

»My last name«, the man with the sun-bleached hair and three-day beard says. »I am from Nashville, Tennessee. Here take my business card.«

»And let me guess«, Nigel mixes in, »your first name is Tom? Tom Sawyer like in that novel by Mark Twain?«

»Oh, yes«, Sawyer says, »that's a strange coincidence, isn't it? But I always preferred Huckleberry Finn. But my most favourite novel is of course Watership Down by Douglas Adams.«

I can only repeat. What is going on? Dickens yesterday, Mark Twain today? Are we in a literature circle here all of a sudden? And there is something wrong with those rabbits and Douglas Adams.

»Did you know«, this Sawyer guy says - and I cannot help but thinking he was using the name James Ford when I met him twelve years ago. »Did you know that Douglas Adams is no part of the Adams Family, no uncle or cousin to Gomez or Wednesday Adams? And did you know that Mark Twain's real name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens?«

»And did you know«, the llama says mocking Sawyer's way of speaking, »that Foghorn Leghorn is a giant rooster in the Looney Toons?«

»I don't know what this has to do with anything I have said before«, Sawyer replies.

This kind of speech and behaviour does not suit this man. The seems more like the brooding type to me. But… not really if I think about it.

»This is a nightmare«, I say more to myself, »A real nightmare before Christmas. I wonder when Jack Skellington - the King of Halloween - will show up.«

»You know Jack?« Sawyer seems to be surprised. »He is my nemesis, my arch-enemy, you know. I think he lives in waggon 2 now.«

»So we'll always have something to look forward to«, I say shaking my head.

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"Bromford Blues"

Old Bromford

Tried to spit in your face

Old Bromford

Tried to spit in your face

Baby's grubbing whiskey

Oh, she's practicing

Old Bromford

Mean as they can be

Old Bromford

Mean as they can be

They use gunpowder

Just to sweeten the tea

Had a girl in Bromford

Sweetest girl in town

Had a girl in Bromford

Sweetest girl in town

But she met a sweet black man

And then she threw me down

Well, old Bromford

Can't keep man in jail

Old Bromford

Can't keep man in jail

Sure we call him guilty

Judge will cry and bail

Come back to Bromford

Me, my razor and my gun

Come back to Bromford

Me and my razor, my gun

Gonna cut her if she stands there

And shoot her if she runs