Longer Beaches …

'Kevin Bacon is the best actor in the world!'

What kind of Llamaism is this now?

'Really?' I ask. 'Are you sure? Didn't you think David Hasselhoff was the best actor in the world only a few months ago?'

'Sorry. I might be wrong there. Kevin Actor is the best baker in the world. You as meat eater, can you tell me, is bacon ham?'

I don't want to talk about meat right now, may it be bacon or ham.

'Do you know Karsten Speck?' the animal asks.

Who the…

'David Hasselhoff once said in the backstage area of one of his rock concerts that Karsten Speck was the German Kevin Bacon.'

'Animal? What are you talking about?'

The llama is standing at the balustrade of the roof terrace looking in the direction of Bromford Bridge.

'Did you hear about the rocks at Bromford Beach?' llama asks.

'Bromford Beach is quite sandy', I say. ''All the ads, the mayor and the tourists' information say, there are no rocks on Bromford Beach. We have got the smoothest beach on the whole Eastcoast.'

'Or Westcoast or Northcoast or Southcoast', the llama whispers. 'Don't forget, Bromford is the Springfield of the internet. Nobody shall ever know where it lies.'

Than it shows me the newspaper on the table on the roof terrace.

'I am talking about these rocks.'

There is a fotograph above the headline of Bromford's Daily Bugle. It shows a strange kind of yellow rockformation in low water. Before I can read the headline llama takes away the newspaper.

'There was this storm last week', the animal says. 'And this storm washed away all the precious golden sand on Bromford Beach. All that is left are these stone pillars, standing in circles, like Stonehenge or something. Nobody knows where they came from. Nobody knows if they have been there all the time - only buried by sand maybe. The scientists are flabbergasted. Archaeologists are keen to explore them. They can hardly hold their spatulas and brushes trembling with excitement. Mystery is on its' way. The druids of the world are gathering. And you have not heard about these rocks at Bromford Beach, dude?'

'Wait a minute', I say. 'This isn't the Daily Bugle you are reading. It must be the Daily Conspirator.'

'Open your mind, you blockhead. We as residents of the Bromford Labs should investigate in this case. We will be rich. We will be famous.'

Is every heavy breathing a sigh?

And the fortune cookie says,

If it is too loud around you, 
you cannot hear your inner voice.

Oh, how I wish I couldn't hear my inner voice.

Today is Monday, the 25th of May 2020.