Longer Impossibles ...

 
I am back in the mood again.

No llamas right now, no life-long friends and her twenty-something sons.



The cancelling continues. No fireworks for me this year.

And in front of my cellar window - I know it is not cellar door -

young birds who can barely fly are beeping for their parents and food.

Blackbirds and redstarts. Sounds like a cliché.



And Amy, the neigbour's cat.



And the fortune cookie says,

Today is a good day to have a good day.

Today is Saturday, the 31st of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

Bromford's cellar door and window, the protagonist asks himself - or herself?
Sounds like Bromford's penthouse and glass door to the roof terrace. This bird has flown.

Cuckoo, the antagonist adds.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 169

Today is Thursday, the 29th of July 2021.

Why does a week have so many days?
But I think I am even now. Back to only one quiz day a week.
After this quiz Thursday.

Where fox and rabbit say good night...
This ain't the place. This ain't the place...
Is this even a real saying in non-Klingon speaking places?

*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
********

"Bromford"


I drank myself to sleep
Every night of last week
Then I walked to the Boscov’s store
To buy a case of Crazy Horse
I dreamt I stayed in the Bromford
In the same bed as Kennedy
Jackie and Johnny and Caroline would ride up the mainline
The last stop is Carbondale
Where John once found some Jermyn tail
And his Irish and Jermyn son had
Wrote a story called Kill Dragon
It was a huge hit in the youth group scene
Cause he pledged toward celibacy


I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming


This year I’m going to work on stability
This year I’m going to try and keep
My friends close to me
And I hope one day to have half as much
Of my grandpa’s integrity


And I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming


And I saw Kennedy, in the Hotel Bromford
And he told me everything, that I knew we’d both been feeling
So we sat on the ledge and looked down toward the West end


That’s where I drank myself to sleep
Just to get some company
That’s where I drank myself to sleep
Just to get some company


I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming
I saw him coming…

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 168

Today is Wednesday, the 28th of July 2021.

Where Golden Elephant Snail and Fox say good nigt...

This ain't that place. This ain't that place.

 

"Bromford"


You talk so loud and you talk so much
And you talk so funny
But honey, whatcha talkin' about?
Somethin' about being, bein' reimbursed
For every unregistered virus.


Drainpipes are filled up with dirty rain
And the leisure train is speeding in the diamond lane
With electricity shut off again
Leaving the night life only for the madman.


Oh my God,
They've sold Bromford
Burned down my neighborhood
Even shot Robin Hood


An' oh my God,
I guess it was never understood
To understand motherhood
Right from wrong
And the bad from the good.


Everybody's got their own smoke screens
With personal armies for everyone in between
With plastic rifles given to every team
What a beautiful dream, even bullets have guarantees.


Oh my God,
They've sold Bromford
Burned down my neighborhood
Even shot Robin Hood
An' oh my God,
I guess it was never understood
To understand brotherhood
Right from wrong
And the bad from the good.


There's the sweetest evil image detector,
As sweet as nectar, an overrated candy dispensor.
She don't give food to eat, or anybody anyplace to sleep
But she can tell you what you can, and what you can't create.


Oh my God,
They've sold Bromford
Burned down my neighborhood
Even shot Robin Hood


An' oh my God,
I guess it was never understood
To understand motherhood
Right from wrong
And the bad from the good.


Oh my God,
They've sold Bromford
Burned down my neighborhood
Even shot Robin Hood


An' oh my God,
I guess it was never understood
To understand brotherhood
Right from wrong
And the bad from the good.

Longer Balds …

 »Ah, Memphis!«

The llama is taking a deep breath stepping out of the motel room.

»Named for Memphis, Egypt. Anchor of West Tennessee along the Misssissippi River. Home of Elvis Presley's Graceland. Home of the Blues.«

»And home of bad tattoo parlours.« Nigel is growling.

Oh, Mama
Can this really be the end?
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again?



And the fortune cookie says,

Nothing is impossible
if you want it with all your heart. 

Today is Tuesday, the 27th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

»You are not Tom Sawyer, Ant.«

»And you are not Huckleberry Finn, Prot.«

Longer Calories …

 
»Welcome to my life tattoo…« the llama sings.

»The Who?« Nigel asks.

»No«, the llama says, »I don't need a Doctor right now«

»Doctor Who?«

»Where have you two been last night?« Kylie asks her son and the animal.

»This town is full of subterranean bars and pubs with music and stuff,« the llama answers. »And we - my pal Nigel and I - payed a visit to each and every one of them.«

»My head aches.« Nigel is rubbing his forehead. »There sure was an elk in that hole.«

»What city is this?« I ask. I have to admit, I am kind of getting confused these days. Are we on a city trip? Are we not? When is a town a city? What is an unincorporated community and census-designated place?

»Memphis!« Kylie gives me a slap on the arm.

»My arm hurts.« Nigel is rubbing his upper arm.

Confusion all over again. Memphis, Tennessee, or Memphis in Egypt? And what is this about arms?

»And no, Nigel, buddy,« the llama says. »This is not the song of The Who. This is a song to our matching tattoos!«

»Tattoos?« Kylie is looking at me. I am looking at Kylie.

»Show me your upper arm,« she asks her son. Nigel is rolling up his right t-shirt sleeve.

»Where is your tattoo?« I ask the llama.

»Come on, dude,« the llama says. »You should have seen that dirty cellar and that creepy guy with his filthy needles. I didn't get a tattoo. Last night was all about Nigel here. It was his big night out.«

I wonder why I cannot read the expression on Kylie's face looking at Nigel's upper arm. It looks kind of red and swollen with crooked blurred black letters on it.

»What does it say?« I try to read the tattoo. »Hard to tell from this angle.«

»LLAMA FOREVER!«

That grin on the animal's face couldn't be brighter.

»The ink keeps on blurring,« I say with a frown.

Kylie is giggling. She is pinching Nigel's cheeks.

»Oh, I love my little baby-boy,« she says. »I can see what you did there.«

»Now I can see it, too!« I am laughing out loud. »The tattoo does not say,

LLAMA FOREVER!

It says,

MAMA FOREVER!«

Nigel is sighing, »I will have it removed first thing after we've returned to Bromford.«


And the fortune cookie says,

A hair stuck in your mouth
is much worse
when you are bald.

Today is Monday, the 26th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

Who is bald?, the protagonist thinks. Noone is bald. Balding, at best, but not bald like in bald-headed.

Longer Simplys …

OUT OF ORDER!

This Blogblock is

OUT OF ORDER!


As is the elevator. Still broken.
Like in that apartment building in
THE BIG BANG THEORY!

Ah, come on. Let's do the cookie thing…

And the fortune cookie says,

Some fortune cookies contain more calories than fortune.

Today is Saturday, the 24th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

 

'When is fortune happiness?' the protagonist asks himself.

'When does the protagonist ask herself?' the antagonist asks no-one in particular.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 167

Today is Friday, the 23rd of July 2021.

Blogsday and the Tasmanian devil made this blockblog uneven.
I cannot stand it. Don't blame me. I am Sheldon Cooper.
I am Raymond Babbitt. This is a Friday quiz. Just to make this even again.
And the next strange animal is a Golden Elephant Snail.
Although it does not have pointed ears or a mirrorverse beard.
Thoughts come from thinking.

"East Of Eden, West Of Bromford"

Once a lost soul raced his shadow
Down a dark road out of town
Tried to leave himself behind him
East of Eden west of Bromford
Like a dagger through the heartland
Over gravel dust and glass
Storm-dark clouds and neon halos
East of Eden west of Bromford


This is how the story goes
Took a miracle to make him go


Stopped at midnight miles from nowhere
Got out dropped down on his knees
In the dirt he wrote her name out
East of Eden west of Bromford
Home was just a broken promise
No good reason to turn back
AM stations drift to static
East of Eden west of Bromford


The greatest story never told
Took a miracle to make him go


In a house there hangs a picture on the wall
Of them in better days before the bitter fall
Before a quiet man slipped out into the night
A disillusioned man walked out without a fight

Drofmorb fo tsew nede fo tsae

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 166

Today is Wednesday, the 21st of July 2021.

A wombat, quoll and Tasmanian devil walk into a bar…
Okay – not really. That would be just crazy. None of them drink.


"Bromford County"

I guess things were always kind of quiet around Bromford County

Kind of shy and sleepy as it clung to the skirts of the two-lane

That was stretched out just like an asphalt dance floor

Where all the old-timers in bib jeans and store-bought boots

Were hunkering down in the dirt

To lie about their lives and the places that they'd been

And they'd suck on Coca-Colas, yeah, and be spitting Day's Work

Until the moon was a stray dog on the ridge

And the taverns would be swollen until the naked eye of two AM

And the Stratocasters slung over the burgermeister beer guts

And swizzle-stick legs jackknifed over naugahyde stools... yeah

And the witch hazel spread out over the linoleum floors

And pedal-pushers stretched out over a midriff bulge

And the coiffed brunette curls over Maybelline eyes

Wearing Prince Machiavelli, or something yeah

Estee Lauder, smells so sweet

And I elbowed up at the counter with mixed feelings over mixed drinks

As Bubba and the Roadmasters moaned in pool hall concentration and

And knit their brows to cover the entire Hank Williams songbook

Whether you like it or not

And the old National register was singing to the tune of fifty-seven dollars and fifty-seven cents yeah

And then it's last call, one more game of eight-ball

Berniece'd be putting the chairs on the tables

And someone come in and say, 'Hey man, anyone got any jumper cables?'

'Is that a 6 or a 12 volt, man? I don't know...'

Yeah, and all the studs in town would toss 'em down

And claim to fame as they stomped their feet

Yeah, boasting about being able to get more ass than a toilet seat

And the GMC's and the Straight-8 Fords were coughing and wheezing

And they percolated as they tossed the gravel underneath the fenders

To weave home a wet slick anaconda of a two-lane

With tire irons and crowbars a-rattling

With a tool box and a pony saddle

You're grinding gears and you're shifting into first

Yeah, and that goddamned tranny's just getting worse, man

With the melody of see-ya-laters and screwdrivers on carburetors

Talking shop about money to loan

And palominos and strawberry roans yeah

See ya tomorrow, hello to the Missus

With money to borrow and goodnight kisses

As the radio spit out Charlie Rich, man

He sure can sing that son of a bitch

And you weave home, yeah, weaving home

Leaving the little joint winking in the dark warm narcotic American night

Beneath a pin cushion sky

And it's home to toast and honey, gotta start up the Ford, man

Yeah, and your lunch money's right over there on the draining board

And the toilet's running Christ, shake the handle

And the telephone is ringing, it's Mrs. Randall

And where the hell are my goddamned sandals?

What you mean, the dog chewed up my left foot?

With the porcelain poodles and the glass swans

Staring down from the knickknack shelf. yeah

And the parent's permission slips for the kids' field trips

Yeah, and a pair of mukluks scraping across the shag carpet yeah

And the impending squint of first light

And it lurked behind a weeping marquee in downtown Bromford

Yeah, and it'd be pulling up any minute now

Just like a bastard amber Velveeta yellow cab on a rainy corner

And be blowing its horn in every window in town

Longer Betters …

'The Republic of Poland has got the most beautiful girls and women on farms in the whole wide world', the llama reads a sign on something somewhere in Warsaw, the capitol city of Poland, officially known as the Republic of Poland.

'Hey, they had a prime minister called Donald Duck in the beginning of the 21th century', Nigel adds.

'Really?' Kylie says. 'This is what is happening on our travel to Poland? I kind of hoped and wished for something more than that.'

'What do you think this is, Kylie?' I am so not amused. 'Some kind of world tour like your trip through the United States of America with the llama two years ago? We are still in the midth of a pandemic with intermediate floods and you are waiting for travels and parties and adventures?'

'I was calling from Connecticut', Kylie says.

And indeed she was.

And the fortune cookie says,

A conclusion is simply the point
where you get tired of thinking.

Today is Tuesday, the 20th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

Tired, that's the point, the protagonist thinks.

Longer Anythings …

So suddenly …

We are walking in Warsaw.

"My shoes are killing me. Let's find a nice place to sit down for a while."

"Stop complaining, Nigel", Kylie tells her son. "Nobody told you to wear those new sneakers. You should have brought your old hiking shoes."

"Look, Mommy, they have a llama", a little boy shouts out from the other side of the street.

"Yes, they have. And I am loaded and ready to shoot", the llama shouts back. "Got a problem with that, kid?"

The mother on the other side of the street takes her nosy son by the hand and walks by quickly.

What are we doing here in Warsaw, the capitol of Poland? I don't know anything about this town and country and I have never been here before.

"Can we go and Polish something now?" the llama asks.

And Kylie whispers, "Do you think you can handle this, Bromford?"

And the fortune cookie says,

Cookies make the world a better place.

Today is Monday, the 19th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

"The gang out on a big adventure?" the antagonist asks.

"We are like Statler and Waldorf", the protagonist says to himself.

And to the antagonist he adds, "Don't count on it. He will lose interest in and ideas for this story arc sooner or later. Sooner, if you want my opinion."

Longer Blogsdays ...

  Today is Sunday, the 18th of July 2021.

Today is BLOGSDAY !!!

 

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME !!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME !!!

It was twenty years ago today
Sgt. Pepper told the Brom to post...

Liar, liar pants on fire.

What?

Twelve. It was twelve years ago today.
And it was on a Saturday.

OK, SKÅL!

Longer Wiselys …

»What's a wisely?«

»Who knows.«

»We need more stories, Bromford.«

»Like fairy tales?«

»Fairy Ultra - and your glasses are not only clean but pure.«

»Cheap commercial?«

»Maybe this Wisley is a Wealey.«

»Cheap Pottermercial«

»Come on. Think of some story.«

»Protagonist and antagonist are riding on a bike.«

»Prot and Ant?«

»Maybe.«

»Sounds like the beginning of a very cheap joke.«

»Why is everything so cheap tonight?«

»I don't know.«

»And I don't know who is talking.«

»What is this?«

»Screw.«

»Screw like in screwball comedy?«

»Srcew like in screw you, dude.«

»OK.«

»Not yet a story.«

 

And the fortune cookie says,

When you eat a box of fortune cookies,
anything becomes possible.

Today is Saturday, the 17th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

'You have a great talent for baking cookies - use it wisely!' the antoganist says.

'Use it, Weasely!'

'Really?'

'Not really', the protagonist says. 'This nonsense is contagious, sorry.'

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 165

Today is Wednesday, the 14th of July 2021.

In the last elections the wallabies voted for that one party

which demanded one wombat for each and every household.

"Bromford or the First Breath You Take After You Give Up


Can't afford to lose my head (lose my head)
Can't afford to lose my cool
You'll blow them all in kingdom come (kingdom come)
I can't afford to lose my tease
I just aim to please


Feel like a no-tell motel painting
Out of place or ignored
It's all medals and trophies, trophies and medals
All before the race has been run


(Oh, take off your mask) Take it off now baby
(Is it too much to ask?) Too much to ask
(Go on and give it a try) Let it up now
(Or kiss your ass goodbye) Goodbye


Autobiographical anonymous (anonymous)
A cotillion of friction on my jurisdiction
It's a lovely disguise with the wandering eyes (wandering eyes)
I get high, now you've got something to look up to


Trouble's a mangy stray dog
Play with it once, then it follows you home
It's all have nots, have nones, hey can I have some?
Until I've had enough yet I've had none


(Oh, take off your mask) Rip it off now baby
(Lose it into the trash) Throw it all away
(Go on and give it a try) Throw it all away
(Or kiss your ass goodbye)


Suddenly it gets easy
The sun goes down
The long arm of important things
Disappears in her gown


You finally drop the knife
Forget you ever
It's a goodnight, that ain't forever
It feels so good to give up, give in
In your arms


I know it hurts
It hurts to be young
Metamorphosis is pain
It hurts to be young
Gotta learn every Goddamn thing
You gotta hack your way through
And realize
It's almost entirely lies
But then you'll begin to smile
Smile for me
Real wide
Then you accept what you are
The transformation is done
You've become
Absorbed into and you know
I think I know what to do

Longer Walkings …

People are strange when you're a stranger.
People look ugly when you're alone.

Bromford?

Yes, llama?

I am worried, Bromford.

Worried about what, llama?

I am worried about becoming unimportant, Bromford.

Why that, llama?

We are losing importance when the supporting cast's stories are getting more and more interesting than our own stories and adventures, Bromford. Do you think we could be candidate for a re-casting?

Hmm, Bromford Bibble, the dude who's called like the friendly town by the bay and seaside thinks, who are this protagonist and his antagonist?


And the fortune cookie says,

You have a great talent for baking cookies - use it wisely!

Today is Tuesday, the 13th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

» I think he lost it, « the antagonist says.

» I think he's never had it, « the protagonist answers. » Another cup of beer, dear? «

» Cheers! «

Longer Coulds …

» This is a great post for Monday. «

» What Monday? «

» This Monday, I think. «

» Make it a short post. «

» OK. Done. «



And the fortune cookie says,

If you look back,
you will soon be walking in that direction.

Today is Monday, the 12th of July 2021.

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

» Did you hear that? « the protagonist asks.

» Sounds like breaking glas. « The antagonist is looking nervously around.

» Do you think that is an intruder? « Anxious is the way the protagonist looks right now.

» Robbery, assault and battery
The felon and his felony
Robbery, assault and battery
The felon and his felony?
Like in that old song from the second book of the bible - Exodus? «
The antagonist squeaks.

» I don't know what you are talking about, ant. «

» Run for your life, prot. «

And the protagonist thinks,
is this really burglary and housebreaking? And where are we, anyway?

Longer Laziness …

 

 

Do you hear the people sing?

Singing the songs of angry men?

It is the music of the people

Who will not be slaves again!

 

Too late.

 

When you close your eyes you feel your chains and you hear the trapdoor fall shut.

 

Bromford's Bible

Bromford Bridge

Doctor Struggles.

 

Give me that vaccine one and two and three times more

and leave me alone.

 

That story-tree of mine is empty - no more fruits hanging and dangling and falling on and in my head.

 

- Cut -

 

And the fortune cookie says,

 

Today's stranger could be a friend tomorrow.

 

Today is Saturday, the 10^th of July 2021.

 

🌨🌨🌨🌨🌨

 

The protagonist says,

"No sunbeams on elder blossoms today. More like raindrops and storm clouds in the backyard."

 

"What is wrong with Bromford Bibble today?"

the antagonist asks.

 

The protagonist answers,

"I think the llama has hitchhicked the blogblock again."

 

"You mean the animal hijacked the blockblog?"

the antagonist asks.

 

"The elder tree has lost its dreams and thoughts and put it in the heads or something like that",

the protagonist says.