Treasure of Gold and Silver …

Today is Friday, the 31st of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from Montana.

We have met a girl called Hannah Montana, the llama says.

No, we have not, Kylie says.

So, her name was Alaska Nebraska, the llama asks.

No, Kylie says, her name was Helena of Troy and she had a beautiful horse.

And there was this guy called Paris, the llama says. He had to throw a poisoned apple to decide whether Helena or Snow White was the most beautiful of the old Greek Godesses. But the horse that was called Mr Ed ate the apple and was able to sing and dance afterwards.

No way, I say.

Believe it or not, Bromford Bibble, Kylie says, but Horses is the best musical that I have ever seen live on stage.

Oro y Plata, the llama calls out in a singing tone.

Whatever, Kylie says, only ten states left to go. Are you ready for our triumphant homecoming, Bromford?

Sasquatch, the llama shouts, Bigfoot named this piece of land. The name Montana comes from the Spanish word Montaña, which in turn comes from the Latin word Montanea, meaning "mountain", or more broadly, "mountainous country".

Things are getting weirder, I say.

If only you could see the llama dance the Fandango, Kylie sighs.

Freedom for Troyian horses, the llama cries out, freedom for the buffaloes.

I have got a headache, Kylie says.

Until next time, I say but it sounds like a question.