Treasure of Gold and Silver …

Today is Friday, the 31st of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from Montana.

We have met a girl called Hannah Montana, the llama says.

No, we have not, Kylie says.

So, her name was Alaska Nebraska, the llama asks.

No, Kylie says, her name was Helena of Troy and she had a beautiful horse.

And there was this guy called Paris, the llama says. He had to throw a poisoned apple to decide whether Helena or Snow White was the most beautiful of the old Greek Godesses. But the horse that was called Mr Ed ate the apple and was able to sing and dance afterwards.

No way, I say.

Believe it or not, Bromford Bibble, Kylie says, but Horses is the best musical that I have ever seen live on stage.

Oro y Plata, the llama calls out in a singing tone.

Whatever, Kylie says, only ten states left to go. Are you ready for our triumphant homecoming, Bromford?

Sasquatch, the llama shouts, Bigfoot named this piece of land. The name Montana comes from the Spanish word Montaña, which in turn comes from the Latin word Montanea, meaning "mountain", or more broadly, "mountainous country".

Things are getting weirder, I say.

If only you could see the llama dance the Fandango, Kylie sighs.

Freedom for Troyian horses, the llama cries out, freedom for the buffaloes.

I have got a headache, Kylie says.

Until next time, I say but it sounds like a question.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 61

Today is Thursday, the 30th of May 2019.
The Ascension of Christ.

Tell me are you a believer? Are you a Christian child?

"Bromford"

There's a ship

And it sails a sea of light

On its way to me tonight

From a distant shore

Taking me home once more

And the waves

And the whistling of the wind

Make me come alive again

My destiny's at my door

Going to leave this town forever

And go where I'll never

Nead an overcoat no more, where they cry ...

Ooh lalalala, every night and every day

Sitting by the Gulf coast just a thousand miles away

Where they cry ...

Ooh lalalala, on an island I will dwell

Starlit nights in paradise on the Isle of Bromford

There's a girl

And I see her dressed in white

As she lies there in the night

I can hear her cry

Where has he gone and why

But she knows

That someday he will arrive

And it keeps her love alive

Dreams can never die

She looks across the ocean

At sails in motion

In the early morning sky, where they cry ...

Angels of the water, sirens of the sea

Whispering there sweet love songs

Calling out to me

Tired of Thinking ...

Today is Monday, the 27th of May 2019.

I am tired of the United States, the llama cries. And don't you dare calling from another state, Kylie-Smilie!

Come down, animal, Kylie says. And have a drink. Here, take a "Fuerst Bismarck".

Looks like water, the llama says.

Tastes like water, Kylie says.

The llama drinks. And this is about the second time you have seen the llama breathing fire.

Either a Pickled Herring or Hard Liquor …

>>> Today is Saturday, the 25th of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from North Dakota.

We went to a rock concert yesterdas, the llama and I, Kylie says.

My feet hurt, the llama moans.

And my back, Kylie says.

Headliner was the band Snow Patrol, the llama says. They played from ten till midnight.

That is not true, Kylie says.

They did not play from ten till midnight, I ask.

No, they were not the headliners, the llama says, but I needed a connection to say the following thing. There is always snow in Fargo. Snow and blood.

But that is not true, Kylie says. It is springtime in North Dakota now. And I am pretty sure they also have summer and autumn here.

I am not, the llama says. I have seen a movie and three season of a tv show and there was always winter in Fargo and lots of dead bodys.

Kylie sighs. I am feeling a little bit bored.

Did you know that Otto von Bismarck, the first Chancellor of the German Empire, founded the capital city of North Dakota, Kylie says.

The capital is called Fargo, the llama asks.

I am shaking my head.

No, Kylie says, it is called Bismarck.

I do not think that it was founded by Otto von, I say.

Exactly, the llama says, I think it is named after the famous German snack, Bismarck Herring, because most of the fish for that snack is beening caught in North Dakota's Lake Sakakawea and Lake Audubon.

This sounds all so wrong, I say.

Exactly, Kylie says, in fact it is named after the strong German schnapps, Bismarck, because all people of North Dakota are alcoholics.

Oh, my Lord, I say. I need a shot.

<<<

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 60

Today is Thursday, the 23rd of May 2019.

I've got no roots, but my home was never on the ground... I've got no roots uh uh uh uh...

"Back To Bromford"

I found a place where I instantly felt I was home

Haven't felt like that since I was 6 years old

And you brought me ice cream and chips on a Sunday

We stayed in bed and watched films on a Monday

But little did I know, that I'd be the one to go

If I could I'd go back to Bromford and tell you

I'm sorry for hurting the one thing we had from the start

Apologize to you for playing with your heart

If I could I'd go back to Bromford and I'd tell you

I'm sorry for hurting the one thing we had from the start

Apologize to you for playing with your heart, for playing with your heart

And we walked the streets of Bromford in the nights

Haven't talked about where we'd both be in ten years

Timed that I'd be up on the stage and you'd be creating a brand new age

And you made a mixtape of songs for my birthday

I listen to them constantly they're on replay

And I keep on playing in my mind the way things went down in Bromford at the time

If I could I'd go back to Bromford and tell you

I'm sorry for hurting the one thing we had from the start

Apologize to you for playing with your heart

If I could I'd go back to Bromford and I'd tell you

I'm sorry for hurting the one thing we had from the start

Apologize to you for playing with your heart

Cause I never meant no harm

I never meant no harm

I never meant no harm

I never meant no harm, no harm

If I could I'd go back to Bromford and I'd tell you

I'm sorry for hurting the one thing we had from the start

Apologize to you for playing with your heart, for playing with your heart

Mister President is watching you…

Today is Sunday, the 19th of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from South Dakota.

Springfield, South Dakota, is a prison, Kylie says, the Andrew Dufresne State Prison.

I think you got this all wrong, I say. Andy Dufresne is the main character in Stephen King's novel Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption and the movie based upon. Google says you are talking about the Mike Durfee State Prison.

I do not want to talk about prisons at all, Kylie says. Would you like and come to visit Mount Rushmore with me, she asks the llama.

No, the llama says, I do not like tourists' attractions. And I do not like stoned presidents watching me.

Ok, Kylie says, whatever you want, animal.

You sound sad, I say to the llama.

I pity the poor Indians for their sacred mountains desecrated by the old, white man, the llama says.

Native Americans, Kylie says.

And I feel sorry for the buffaloes, the llama says. Or our buffa-bros as I like to call them.

What is wrong with you, dudes, I ask. Why so historical today?

You should have been here two hundred years ago, Kylie says. How the west was won and where it got us.

There was a time, the llama says, when I used to love Mike Oldfield and his endless anthems. Nowadays I think they are boring and he did the same 20 minute song over and over again throughout the 1970s.

Who writes these strange words for you, animal, Kylie asks. Bromford?

Pierre, the llama says.

Who is Pierre, I ask.

I do not know, Kylie says. Maybe a member of Mr. President, the good old Eurodance project from the 1990s.

Never mind, the llama says and hangs up.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 59

Today is Thursday, the 16th of May 2019.

I have nothing much to say when the band plays Waltzing Matilda...

"Bromford"

I'm tearing up, across your face

Move dust through the light

To fide your name

It's something fane

This is not a place

Not yet awake, I'm raised of make

Still alive who you love

Still alive who you love

Still alive who you love

In a mother, out a moth

Furling forests for the soft

Gotta know been lead aloft

So I'm ridding all your stories

What I know, what it is, it's pouring - wire it up!

You're breaking your ground

Something about Cornhuskers …

Today is Tuesday, the 14th of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from Nebraska. The llama is reading a newspaper.

The capital of Nebraska is Lincoln, the llama says.

Abraham Licoln was the sixteenth president of the United States, Kylie says. And Lincoln is some kind of automobile. Who cares?

Doris Mary Ann Kappelhoff died on Monday, the llama says.97 years is a good age to go, if you want my opinion.

Was she born in Nebraska, Kylie asks.

No, she was born in Cincinnatti, Ohio, the llama says.

So she died in Nebraska, Kylie asks.

No, she died in Carmel Valley Village, California, the llama says.

Was she related to David Hasselhoff, Kylie asks.

No, her birthname was Kappelhoff, not Hasselhoff, the llama says.

So, why are we talking about her, Kylie asks.

I do not know, the llama says. Maybe it is because I am glad her first name was not May Mary Ann.

Why, Kylie asks.

Because then, the llama says, her stage and screen name might have been May Day instead and not Doris Day.

Que sera, sera, Kylie says and shrugs her shoulders.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 58

Today is Thursday, the 9th of May 2019. Mother's day.

Time to visit ancient Egypt. Seen any pyramids or pharaoes lately? Where is my mummy*? Are you my mummy*?

"Move To Bromford"

Walked around, no one around

You were the one who taught me better

This old town brings me down

You were the one who told me

You've got to move to Bromford

And that's what I'll do

Gonna move to Bromford and follow you

Trace that highway, down to your doorway

Gonna move to Bromford, be with you, yeah

On the day, you walked away

I was the one who said

You'd better stick around, stay in town

You were the one who told me

You've got to move to Bromford

And that's what I'll do

Chase the shadow and follow you

Take the highway, down to your doorway

Gonna move to Bromford, be with you

Gonna be with you

I'm gonna be with you

Gonna move to Bromford

I'm gonna be with you

I'm gonna move to Bromford

Move to Bromford

That's what I'll do

Chase the shadows and follow you

Take the highway, down to your doorway

Gonna move to Bromford to be with you

That's what I'll do

Chase the shadow and follow you

Take the highway, down to your doorway

Gonna move to Bromford, follow you

That's what I'll do

Take the highway, to your doorway

Move to Bromford

Note from Captain Obvious...

*(especially in ancient Egypt) a body of a human being or animal that has been ceremonially preserved by removal of the internal organs, treatment with natron and resin, and wrapping in bandages.

Do Jayhawkers like Sunflowers?

Today is Wednesday, the 8th of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from Kansas.

Toto, I've a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore, Kylie says.

I am not Toto, the llama says. I am KussKus. And we definatley are in Kansas.

I know, Kylie says.

The capital of Kansas is Kansas City, the llama says.

No, it is Topeka, Kylie says. And there is a Kansas City in Missouri, did you know?

So Kansas City is the largest city of Kansas, the llama asks.

No, that is Wichita, Kylie says.

Conchita, the llama asks.

Whatever, Kylie sings.

But there is a song called Kansas City in the musical Oklahoma!

The llama sings…

I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel.

But later in the second act, when she began to peel,

She proved that everything she had was absolutely real!

I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel.

But then she started dancing and her dancing made me feel

That every single thing she had was absolutely real!

Everything's up to date in Kansas City

They gone about as fer as they can go

They went an' built a skyscraper seven stories high

About as high as a buildin' orta grow.

It takes a crane to build a crane. It takes two floors to make a story, Kylie says. Did you know the tallest buildings there in 1906 - the era when the musical Oklahoma! is set - were the 12-story New York Life Insurance Building and the newly built 17-story Commerce Trust Tower. A major seven-story building at the time was The Jones Store at 12th and Main which took up an entire block and was 500,000 square feet.

What's a story, the llama asks. And what is a jayhawk? Some kind of bird?

Ad astra per aspera, Kylie says. And tell me why America uses so may Latin mottos when most of the Americans do not speak and learn Latin at all…?

Labor omnia vincit …

Today is Friday, the 3^rd of May 2019.

Kylie is calling from Oklahoma. Back on track, she says. What a drag, she says.

What a drag it is getting old, the llama says.

The Beatles, Kylie says.

The Rolling Stones, Bromford says.

You obnoxious know-it-all, you, Kylie says.

Ob… what, Bromford asks.

When I think of Oklahoma, the llama says, I think of covered wagons on track and settlers and Indians and musical numbers. And I think that the forefather's of Oklahoma were not that inventive when it came to name their capital city. Oklahoma City. Come on? Really?

Cherokee, Kylie says.

The jeep, Bromford aks.

Not that smart aleck anymore after this stupid remark, Kylie says.

Where is your butler who used to answer Kylie's calls, the llama asks. Where is the story arc of your blockblog, Bromford Bibble?

Life in general has no story arc, Kylie explains. It has its ups and downs and lows and highs but it does not follow any script. Whenever you think you have learned the rules of life it gives you lemons to squeeze and to make lemonade.

I don't like squeezies, the llama says. They scare me. What does the headline of this post mean?

That is so meta, Kylie says. Asking questions when all of us already know the answers. It means Work conquers all.

Look who is the know-it-all now, Bromford says and hangs up.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 57

Today is Thursday, the 2nd of May 2019.

May the Forth... No, this is leading nowhere...

Let's see what they are doing in that prison...

Long days and pleasant nights...

"Bromford Prison Blues"

I hear the train a comin'

It's rollin' 'round the bend,

And I ain't seen the sunshine

Since, I don't know when

I'm stuck in Bromford Prison

And time keeps draggin' on

But that train keeps a-rollin'

On down to San Antone

When I was just a baby

My Mama told me, "Son

Always be a good boy

Don't ever play with guns, "

But I shot a man in Reno

Just to watch him die

When I hear that whistle blowin'

I hang my head and cry

I bet there's rich folks eatin'

In a fancy dining car

They're probably drinkin' coffee

And smokin' big cigars

But I know I had it comin'

I know I can't be free

But those people keep a-movin'

And that's what tortures me

Well, if they freed me from this prison

If that railroad train was mine

I bet I'd move out over a little

Farther down the line

Far from Bromford Prison

That's where I want to stay

And I'd let that lonesome whistle

Blow my blues away