Bromford and Aardvark …

 

As I return home from this year's last grocery shopping to the penthouse on the rooftop above the fifteenth floor of the apartment building on 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford, the friendly town by the bay and seaside, I find the llama sitting on the couch in the living room with a very unusal guest.

»Oh my goodness,« I exhail sharply and startled, »who is this, llama?«

The animal is jumping up from the preperations of a New Year's Eve party we had not really planned or spoken about earlier this month or before I left the house this morning.

»Do you know The Ant and the Aardvark?« the llama asks nervously, »a series of 17 theatrical short cartoons produced at DePatie-Freleng Enterprises and released by United Artists from 1969 to 1971?«

»What?«

»The short films with the blue aardvark who is chasing Charlie, the ant, with same success and like Wile E. Coyote is chasing the Road Runner.«

I am shaking my head trying to pack up the groceries into the shopping bags I have dropped on the floor.

»Blue Eliza is a female aardvark in the Klingon version and voiced by the same Klingon actress who is also the one and only true voice for Miss Piggy in the Muppet Show in Klingonia and also Raquel Ochmonek, the Tanner family's neighbour in ALF.«

»Animal!« I try to interrupt, »What are you talking about? Is an aardvark an anteater? And who is our guest?«

The uncanny being - half African Orycteropus, half  buffed human male in a ridiculously tight and sleeveless blue shirt - stands up reaching out one hand in a greeting gesture.

»May I introduce myself?« he says. »I am Aaron Aardvark pretending to be a party planner but in fact being a private eye and bounty hunter searching for a supervillan names Albert Ant. He was last reported being your guest in August 2024. Have you seen him lately? Are you still in contact?«

I am not shaking his hand.

»You are not blue,« I remark. »And your name is not Eliza.«

»I think it is more French like Elise and less like Eliza Doolittle in Klingon,« the aarvark replies. »But you haven't answered my questions.«

»What?« the llama shouts out. »You are not a party planner? In this case I have to ask you to leave immediately, dear Sir.«

And with some well-placed boxing punches and kicks the llama directs the aardvark out of the penthouse door.

In the meantime I have placed the shopping bags on the kitchen table.

»What is going on here?« I ask returning to the leaving-room where I find the llama rewinding some colourful streamers.

»I don't know,« the animal says.

»And who is Albert Ant?«

»I don't remember, dude,« the animal answers putting back some table-fireworks to the boxes.

After a short time of sitting silent next to another on the couch the animal says,

»It has been a very long year. Don't you think, dude? A lot of things have happened.«

»Indeed,« I agree. »Indeed, animal.«

»What do you think are the chances of us two having a New Year's Eve party tonight?«

»I don't know, animal,« I say, »I don't know.«

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Today is Wednesday, the 31st of December 2025.
New Year's Eve