Longer Everythings …

»Looks like you are buying time, dude.«

»It's more like I am killing time, animal. And why shouldn't I?«

»Under the killing moon?«

»I don't know what that is.«

»It's because you don't want your only reader to miss mutch because she is travelling the world or more or less nearer parts or something like that.«

»She's not a girl who misses much. And I wanted to make a joke about mishearing miss much and a mismatch. Or is she the Miss of the Match? Sounds like the winner of some tennis match, if you ask me. Missunderstanding? She once was Miss Understanding in Walltown, New Mexico.«

»I don't know what you are talking about, dude.«

»Neither do I, animal. Neither do I.«



And the fortune cookie says,

She's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do, oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane . . .

Today is Tuesday, the 31th of August 2021.

 

⛅ ⛅ ⛅ ⛅ ⛅

 

»She's leaving home?« asks the protagonist.

»I am not a girl«, the antagonist says. »And happiness is a warm gun.«

Longer Nothings …

# Everything?

- Everything!

And the fortune cookie says,

Everything is
Everything if
Everything is
Everything else!

Today is Monday, the 30th of August 2021.

🌥🌥🌥🌥🌥

»Everything?« asks the antagonist.

»Everything!« says the protagonist.

And it never rains in Kollobita´´rtainnen.

Longer Olders …

# Nothing?

- Nothing!

And the fortune cookie says,

Nothing!

Today is Saturday, the 28th of August 2021 (In the Year of Nothing.)

🌥🌥🌥🌥🌥

»Nothing?« asks the antagonist.

»Nothing«, says the protagonist.

And when the rain began to fall?

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 173

Today is Wednesday, the 25th of August 2021.

When the tigers broke free... that was an exciting day at the zoo. Or was it a circus?
I have heard they ate a lot of tiger lilies. Well, that's what the white rabbit said when
it lost its pocket watch...


"Bromford Child"


When my love said to me
Meet me down by the Gallow Tree
For it's sad news I bring
About this old town and all that it's suffering
Some say troubles abound
Some day soon they're gonna pull the old town down
One day we'll return here
When the Bromford Child sings again

Brothers, sisters, where are you now?
As I look for you right through the crowd
All my life here I've spent
With my faith in God, the Church and the Government
Some say troubles abound
Some day soon they're gonna pull the old town down

One day we'll return here
When the Bromford Child sings again

When the Bromford Child sings again

So come back Billy, won't you come on home?
Come back Mary, you've been away so long
The streets are empty, and your mother's gone
The girls are crying, it's been oh so long
And your father's calling, come on home
Won't you come on home? come on home

Come back people, you've been gone a while
And the war is raging, through the Emerald Isle
That's flesh and blood man, that's flesh and blood
All the girls are crying but all's not lost

Well, the streets are empty, the streets are cold
Won't you come on home, won't you come on home?

The streets are empty

Life goes on

One day we'll return here
When the Bromford Child sings again

When the Bromford Child sings again

Longer Overcomes …

The pompous fanfare with drums and trumpets, again.

WELCOME TO THE LATE TONIGHT SHOW WITH
BROMFORD BIBBLE
TODAY

The announcer announces in a very announcing way.

»Wait a minute«, the llama asks, »Yesterday, 11:08 pm and now? Is this still the same show?«

»I like to do my own warmup, you know,« I say.

AND HERE IS YOUR HOST
BROMFORD BIBBLE

I am running up and down the first row of the auditorium giving high-fives to the people sitting here.

»Welcome to Driftwood, the floating city on the funside of town, folks. Wanna hear my opening monologue?«

»What happened at the Blue Grass Café, Bromford?«

The llama is the bandleader and the sidekick at the same time.

»I do not know but I think it was something really grassy, animal.«

Bad joke but preceded by a drum roll and followed by a fanfare.

»And what happens at the Blue Grass Café stays at the Blue Grass Café.«

UMPF, is the only sound that Kylie and Nigel can make in their motel room.


And the fortune cookie says,

The older you get,
the better you have been.

Today is Tuesday, the 24th of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

When the grass turned blue there was this accident at the chemical factory, the protagonist thinks.

Longer Temptations …

 

Are you looking for something glittering, something sparkling?

Everything wrong with …

BROMFORD BIBBLE

The name in blinking lights. A big show stage and an exicted audience applauding all the way. The showband playing a loud and long fanfare with rolling drums and trumpets. Spots on Bromford Bibble, your host of the evening…

»Turn of that old cassette player, dude«, the llama says. »And stop taping those LATE NIGHT SHOWS.«

»What type of show is this supposed to be?« Nigel asks. »A travel show?«

»As the animal said, I have my own late night show now. The late tonight show with Bromford Bibble today.«

»Didn't say anything like that«, the animal says.

And the fortune cookie says,

You will overcome difficult times.

Today is Monday, the 23rd of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

Never understood those late night shows, the protagonist says.

Me neither, the antagonist answers.

That's not very antagonistic, the protagonist wonders.

Longer Thes …

Good Evening!

Welcome to Driftwood, Transylvania, the city beyond the forest.

I am your Grand Master Guru of the evening.

Welcome, learners, to the First School of Priagoratory.

And here comes my first lesson for no time shall be wasted.

The higher, the fewer!

Think about it.

The Cow Jumped over the Moo!

Over the Moon, dude!

As if that would make more sense …



And the fortune cookie says,

Don't mistake temptation for opportunity.

Today is Saturday, the 21st of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, sings the antagonist.

You do know that you are not the guru in this cult, don't you,
the protagonist asks? It's always the memembers who buy
expensive cars for their cult leaders.

Or they go on murder sprees for them.

Yes, Manson, the protagonist says.

What is a Priagoratory, asks the antagonist?

Part of the Great Kollobita´´rtainnen, I, the protagonist, think …

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 172

Today is Wednesday, the 18th of August 2021.

Owl is good friends with Tigger who is simply a tiger, if you ask me.

But don't ask me. I am only a Bromford of very little brain.

 

 

"Acadian Bromford"

The war was over and the spirit was broken
The hills were smokin' as the men withdrew
We stood on the cliffs
Oh, and watched the ships
Slowly sinking to their rendezvous
They signed a treaty and our homes were taken
Loved ones forsaken
They didn't give a damn
Try'n' to raise a family
End up the enemy
Over what went down on the plains of Abraham

Acadian Bromford
Gypsy tail wind
They call my home the land of snow
Canadian cold front movin' in
What a way to ride
Oh, what a way to go

Then some returned to the motherland
The high command had them cast away
And some stayed on to finish what they started
They never parted
They're just built that way
We had kin livin' south of the border
They're a little older and they've been around
They wrote a letter life is a whole lot better
o pull up your stakes, children and come on down

Fifteen under zero when the day became a threat
My clothes were wet and I was drenched to the bone
Been out ice fishing, too much repetition
Make a man wanna leave the only home he's known
Sailed out of the gulf headin' for Saint Pierre
Nothin' to declare
All we had was gone
Broke down along the coast
But what hurt the most
When the people there said
"You better keep movin' on"

Everlasting summer filled with ill-content
This government had us walkin' in chains
This isn't my turf
This ain't my season
Can't think of one good reason to remain
We worked in the sugar fields up from New Orleans
It was ever green up until the floods
You could call it an omen
Points ya where you're goin'
Set my compass north
I got winter in my blood

Acadian Bromford
Gypsy tail wind
They call my home the land of snow
Canadian cold front movin' in
What a way to ride
Ah, what a way to go

Longer Unexpecteds ...

Okay, I feel the rhythm
Something's going on here..

I can feel something glittering coming on.

We need more show, Saturday, night, live ...

»Your titles or the titles of your blockblog posts are getting weird and weirder, Rockford«, the llama says.

»Shut down and leave me alone, llanimal!«



And the fortune cookie says,

You cannot love life
until you live the life you love.

Today is Tuesday, the 17th of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

And no sign of an antagonist and his or her or their protagonist.

»We need a deus ex machina«, one of them or none of them says.

»«

 

Longer Dearests …

 

 

Yummy, yummy, yummy.

I've got pain in my tummy.

 

Maybe that's because you have too much tea in your tummy.

And beer and ice-cream and chocolate and potatoe chips

and meat and tacos and sour cream and cake and cookies and …

 

OK, that's enough.

 

And the fortune cookie says,

 

Prepare for the unexpected.

 

Today is Monday, the 16^th of August 2021

 

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

 

And no sign of a protagonist and his or her or their antagonist.

Longer Weren'ts …

Why not Longer Sponges? No-one knows…

THEY are here. THEY are there. THEY are everywhere.
It's an invasion. An invasion of birds all over the lawn.
Black stars. Starfinks.

Are you able to write whole sentences, Bromford Bibble?
And no questions?

I don't know. Am I?

And the birds are called Starlings like in…
You fly back to school, now, little starling. Fly, Fly, Fly …

A census taker once tried to test me.
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Did you know, when cats howl something is wrong?
Are they able to howl? Are their vocal cords designed to howl?
Can you hear their roar?

But maybe it depends on the animal's personality.

I don't like cats.

Come on, Bromford Bibble, you hate them.

Am I Bromford Bibble?



And the fortune cookie says,

Your dearest wish will come true.

Today is Saturday, the 14th of August 2021

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

Welcome to our lives, commuter, the protagonist says.

Computer? the antagonist asks.

Come on, Uter, the protagonist says. And computer translated into Klingon and back to English would mean something like, Come, turkey, come. A very strange mating call for turkeys.

Come puter, come! Computer! Computer!


Yours truly …

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 171

Today is Wednesday, the 11th of August 2021.

Is Wednesday the new Funday? It is still quiz day.

The hare has lost its spectacles. Ask owl. Or Jethro.

Ask the 18th-century British agriculturist Tull.



"Bromford"

I'm not afraid of you now, I know
So I climbed down from the bunk beds this low

I can talk back to you now, I know
From a few things I learned from this TV show

You can work late till midnight, we don't care
We can fix our own meals, we can wash our own hair

I go to school before sunrise, in the cold
And I pulled the alarm, and I kicked up the salad bowls

Since the time we meant to say much
Unsaid things begin to take their toll
After school we shoveled through the snow
Drive upstate in silence in the cold

You can remind me of it
That I was lazy and tired
You can work all your life as
I'm not afraid of you anymore

If I loved you a long time, I don't know
If I can't recall the last time you told me so

Here in this house in Bromford
The ghost of our grandmother works at the sewing machine post
Hiding the bills in the kitchen on the floor
And my sister lost her best friend in the Persian Gulf War
There was a flood in the bathroom last May
And you kicked at the pipes when it rattled oh the river it made

Stand there, tell me that I'm of no use
Things unspoken break us if we share
There's still time to wash the kitchen floor
On your knees, at the sink once more
You can remind me that I was tired
You can work late and give yourself up
Now that I'm older, wiser, and working less
I don't regret having left the place a mess

You can remind me that I was lazy and tired
You can recall your life as
I'm not afraid of you, anymore
Anymore

Longer Betters …

I think ist is time for an eighth day of the week.

FUNDAY.

Any suggestions where to put it?

Near the weekend?

Middle of the week?



Beginning of the week?



And the fortune cookie says,

How much deeper would the ocean be
if there weren't any sponges?

Today is Tuesday, the 10th of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

Life is like a box of chocolate, the protagonist thinks, you never know who filled the hollow bodies.

Longer Factories …

Cancelling continues.

No lunch barbecue on Saturday.

No anniversary on Sunday.

No fun on Monday.



And the fortune cookie says,

Tomorrow will be better than today.

Today is Monday, the 9th of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

No continuity, not even in the side-side-stories, the protagonist thinks.

Longer Turns …

»Look, there are a tono and his bull.«

»Mmh, I like pizza tono. That's tuna, isn't it?«

»This is Spain, you know, not Italy«, I say. »And I think the llama wanted to say, there are a torero and his bull.«

♫ Barcelona ♫, Kylie sings with her fake opera voice.

»Really?« I ask.

»And who's gonna order the pizza now?« Nigel asks. »I am hungry.«

»Nobody wanted to order pizza here«, I try to explain.

»I wanted to«, the llama says. »But I do not eat tuna. Tuna fish are dolphins, aren't they? They are caught in the same fishing nets, I think. You will have to order a vegan pizza for me.«

»Torero«, I say, »not tono. And we are in Spain not in Italy. We can order paella or something like that.«

»And a torero is…?«

»A bullfighter«, I say. »Come on, folks. Why are you all playing dumb today?«

»I don't want to see a bullfight«, Nigel says, »they are bloody and brutal and totally unfair.«

»Bullfighting was banned in Barcelona in 2010 and although the ban was overturned in 2016, the sport no longer takes place here«, Kylie says with her travelling-guide-kind of voice.

»So why are we talking about toreros and tunas here?« the llama asks.

»You started this discussion with your remark, animal.«

»The old man and the sea«

»That's Hemingway«, Kylie says, »Ernest Hemingway.«

»And a swordfish not a tuna«, the animal adds.

»Is a Marlin a swordfish?« Nigel wants to know.

My head aches.

And the fortune cookie says,

HELP!
I'M BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN A FORTUNE COOKIE FACTORY.

Today is Saturday, the 7th of August 2021

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

And the protagonist thinks, Help! I'm being held captive in a blockblog.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 170

Today is Wednesday, the 4th of August 2021.

Rabbits are only half as scary as hares.

Longer hares? Where did this come from?











"Bromford"

The summer sun set a vicious circus

When shadows held the world in place

But today i felt a chill in my apartment's coolest place

Fuggi regal fantasima

The village larks cannot be heard

Cause all the crows got panderers

I can't escape these velvet drapes

Don't want my rings to fall off my fingers

Fuggi regal fantasima

The mirror i find hard to face

Cause i fear it's a long way down

Got to get away from here

Think i know which hemisphere

Crazy me don't think there's pain in Bromford

They dance you round a waltz confound

But i fear it's a long way down

This road

Even if that straw i pulled

And i got to fight that bull

Nothing really does compare to Bromford

Besides in spain don juan's to blame

But i fear it's a long way down

And i fear i won't be around

Yes i fear it's a long way down

Cause i fear it's a long way down

And i fear i won't be around

Got to get away from here

Think i know which hemisphere

Make sure i have all my papers

Laying out my summer clothes

Search for traps in vain like scratching

So my suitcase i can close

Fuggi regal fantasima

Longer Hares …

»Put away your mobile phone, Bromford«, Nigel says.


To be stuck inside of mobile with the Memphis blues again. I pray every day for a life without repeats.


»It's a re-run, darling«, Kylie whispers reading my thoughts.


»Earth is under attack!« the llama adds.


»Saddle your llamas!« Nigel shouts out.


»Hey!« the llama complains.


»Sorry, mate«, Nigel says. »Saddle your horses! We have to protect the planet from alien invasion!«


What is the difference between an enterprise and a prize? Or what is the difference between employment and emptiness? Were these the better words for yesterday's post?


»Where is your silver anniversary gift, Brommy?« Kylie asks. »Go and get your golden plank.«


»It is more like a post«, I say. »A golden full post to be precise. But the Klingon expression full post for idiot does not work here.«


»Watch out!«


Are that water guns Nigel and Llama are using to aim at the sky?


»The Woozlons from planet Woozle are on their way!«


»This is not Hollywood like I understand it«, I say.


»Hold your head up.« Kylie is stroking my shoulder.


»Hold up my head… quarter?«


And the fortune cookie says,

If you miss an opportunity,
it turns its back on you.

Today is Tuesday, the 3rd of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

♫ Come on, come on, come on, karma chameleon ♫,
the protagonist sings.


»Another cup of tea, dear?«


The antagonist in a costume looks like Mrs Doubtfire… or the late Barbara Bush.

 

Longer Goods …

It was twenty-five years ago today.
They told the Brom to play.

Twenty-five years a slave.
But that is inappropriate when you are being paid.

What is the difference between voluntary and vulnerable?
Voluntarily vulnerable.

I think I messed up the punchline of all of this because I forgot the words I wanted to use in the first place.

Bromford is not writing.
He is thinking about the meaning of life.



And the fortune cookie says,

If you hunt two hares,
you won't catch one.

Today is Monday, the 2nd of August 2021.

🌦🌦🌦🌦🌦

The protagonist can only think of a three word combination…

Mid-Crise-Lifis.