Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Longer Offs …


'How do you feel on your days off, Bromford?' the llama asks. 'Do you use your great opportunities?'

'How should I feel? I am feeling kind of off. They asked me to stay inside. The weather is as autumn as it can be. And my progeria is getting worse.'

'Your progeria?'

'Don't listen to him, KussKuss', the woman at the window says and turns around. 'He is not talking about this rare syndrome in children characterized by physical signs and symptoms suggestive of premature old age. He is not Benjamin Button and certainly not Brad Pitt.'

'I did what I can', the llama says, 'but he is still acting very weird.'

'Maybe we should end this experiment', Doctor Hudson says.

Doctor Kate Hudson, my psychiatrist? What is she doing here? Haven't thought of her in some thime.

'Procrastination', I say, 'I am talking about procrastination.'

'You haven't made all those appointments you wanted to make, have you, human?' the animal asks.

'Procrastination is the action of delaying or postponing things', Doctor Hudson says. 'Your first tip to avoid procrastination is to avoid procrastination.'

'Humming and hawing', the llama sings. 'Kicking the can down the road.'

'What is she doing here?' I ask.

'Who, human?' the animal asks a counter question.

But when I look around, Kate Hudson is gone. But her words are still ringing in my ears, 'Always remember I am your landlord not your housekeeper.'

'Shilly-shallying', the llama shouts. 'Dilly-dallying.'

Tuesday's dead.

I wake up with another start. That is what always happens when I fall asleep on the leather couch in the afternoon.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  Cooper's Dreams - The Undertakers  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 


We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has this future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak, and he loves to be spoken to (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy

And the fortune cookies says,

Bromford is a smart cookie!

Today is Tuesday, the 27th of October 2020.

 

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