Longer Weens …

 

- Wake up, llama.
Stand up. Get out of bed.
It is time for school.

* But it is Saturday.
There are no classes on Saturdays.

- No classes, you are right, animal
But do not forget the extracurricular activities.
This morning you will have a short training
and the most important Quaddatch match
of the whole semester afterwards.
Come on. Get a breakfast - one smart cookie or two
and be the best sneak MixMax has ever seen later today.

* You are such a Quaddatch-Mom, Bromford.

I kick over the hammock and the animal falls to the floor.

* I do not want to play Quaddatch.
Drusilla Dangerface is always making fun of me.
I almost fell from my flying cannon ball the other day.

- Come on, llama. Be the animal I never was.

* I don't like MixMax, the Institute for Wizardcraft and Witchery.
And I do not like the horse blanket they gave me as a school uniform.
And I do not like the dorms. And I do not like travelling by pneumatic tube.

- Come on. Do not be unfair. You can sleep at home now.
They moved the whole school from out of nowhere to the
city of Bromford. MixMax is not a boarding school anymore.

* You are right, Quaddatch-Mom. MixMax is a waterboarding school now.
They made the ridiculous rules even more ridiculous. Have you seen the
underwater part in the second inning of the fifth quarter of the third half
of the Quaddatch match?

- Stop this whining! Go out there. Ride your cannon ball! Play Quaddatch!
And later tonight we will see each other at the Halogen feast in the Great Shack

* No breakfast for me today, Quaddatch-Brom! I have got a match to win.

And with the heavy cannon ball banging on the floor behind it, the animal storms out of the penthouse on the rooftop of the apartment building on 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford, the friendly town by the shore and seaside.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Crazy Whitefella Thinking - The Truth

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has this future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak, and he loves to be spoken to (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy

And the fortune cookies says,

All things are difficult before they seem easy.



Today is Saturday, the 31st of October 2020.
A Blue Moon Is On Its Way…

Longer Offs …

'How do you feel on your days off, Bromford?' the llama asks. 'Do you use your great opportunities?'

'How should I feel? I am feeling kind of off. They asked me to stay inside. The weather is as autumn as it can be. And my progeria is getting worse.'

'Your progeria?'

'Don't listen to him, KussKuss', the woman at the window says and turns around. 'He is not talking about this rare syndrome in children characterized by physical signs and symptoms suggestive of premature old age. He is not Benjamin Button and certainly not Brad Pitt.'

'I did what I can', the llama says, 'but he is still acting very weird.'

'Maybe we should end this experiment', Doctor Hudson says.

Doctor Kate Hudson, my psychiatrist? What is she doing here? Haven't thought of her in some thime.

'Procrastination', I say, 'I am talking about procrastination.'

'You haven't made all those appointments you wanted to make, have you, human?' the animal asks.

'Procrastination is the action of delaying or postponing things', Doctor Hudson says. 'Your first tip to avoid procrastination is to avoid procrastination.'

'Humming and hawing', the llama sings. 'Kicking the can down the road.'

'What is she doing here?' I ask.

'Who, human?' the animal asks a counter question.

But when I look around, Kate Hudson is gone. But her words are still ringing in my ears, 'Always remember I am your landlord not your housekeeper.'

'Shilly-shallying', the llama shouts. 'Dilly-dallying.'

Tuesday's dead.

I wake up with another start. That is what always happens when I fall asleep on the leather couch in the afternoon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  Cooper's Dreams - The Undertakers  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has this future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak, and he loves to be spoken to (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy

And the fortune cookies says,

Bromford is a smart cookie!

Today is Tuesday, the 27th of October 2020.

 

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 131

Today is October, the 25th of Sunday 2020.


Here we are again. A little older, a little colder. Go back to Bolder, Missouri, child.

And when they found all these writings about Middle Earth and the Undying Lands about all these godlike and angelic creatures that The One brought to life in his song they called this Bible The Silmarillion.

And these men from the Island with their first animalistic, gill-bearing aquatic-craniate-like singer and the other one used nearly the same name as their band's name.

And so it began ...

"Bromford"

When I was young it all seemed like a game
Living here brought no sense of shame
But now I'm older I've come to understand
Once we had houses
Once we had land
They rained down bullets on us as our homes collapsed
We lay beneath the rubble terrified

Hoping. Dare we dream?
We gave up waiting
For us, to dream is still a dream

When I woke up, the house was broken stones
We suddenly had nothing
And nothing's changed

We live, eight people, in this overcrowded heat
Factory-farmed animals living in our own sweat
Living like this is all my baby brother ever knew
The world does nothing. What can we do?

We will kick the ball
We will skip the rope
We will play outside. Be careful
We will paint and draw. We will say our prayers

Outside the pitiless sun bleaches the broken streets
The darkness drops in the evening like an iron door
The men play cards under torchlight
The women stay inside
Hell can erupt in a moment day or night

You ask for trouble if you stray too close to the wall

My father died feeding the birds
Mum goes in front of me to check for soldiers

For every hot-head stone ten come back
For every hot-head stone a hundred come back
For every rocket fired the drones come back

For thirteen years the roads have all been closed
We're isolated. We're denied medical supplies
Fuel and work are scarce. They build houses on our farms
The old men weep. The young men take up arms.

We're packed like chickens in this town of block cement
I get headache from the diesel. When it rains, the sewers too
I had no idea what martyrdom meant
Until my older brother. my older brother
I'm sorry. I can't continue.

You sow the wind, you reap the whirlwind, it is said
When people know they have no future
Can we blame them if we cannot tame them?
And when their hopes and dreams are broken
And they feel they might as well be dead
As they go, will we forgive them
If they take us with them?

Stay close
Stay home
Stay calm
Have faith

With the love of our family we can rise above anything
Someday surely someone must help us
With the love of our family we can rise above anything
Someday surely someone must help us
Even now we will go to school
Even now we will dream to dream
Someday surely someone must help us

Nothing's ever simple - that's for sure
There are grieving mothers on both sides of the wire
And everyone deserves a chance to feel the future just might be bright
But any way you look at it - whichever point of view
For us to have to live like this
It just aint right
It just aint right
It just aint right

We all want peace and freedom that's for sure
But peace won't come from standing on our necks
Everyone deserves a chance to feel the future just might be bright
But any way you look at this - whichever point of view
For us to have to live like this
It just aint right
It just aint right
It just aint right

It's like a nightmare rose up slouching towards Bethlehem
Like a nightmare rose up from this small strip of land
Slouching towards Bethlehem

It's like a nightmare rose up from this small strip of land
Slouching towards Bethlehem

Stay close
Stay home
Have faith

I can't know what twist of history did this to me
It's like a nightmare

With the love of our family
We can rise above anything
Some day surely someone must help us...

*****
*****
*****
*****
*****

Longer Dementors …

 - Llama? I can hear you in the bathroom. You are not at MixMax, the Institute for Wizardcraft and Witchery.

* Dementor! Dementor!

- What do you say, animal?

* Dementi! Dementi!

- Do you mean, Denial! Denial?

* I do not mean anything. Are you my Mommy?

- I think it is Dementia! Dementia! in your case.

* I want my Hide and Seek. I am it. Five, four, three, two, one. Ready or not, here I come!

- Where did you find those Harry Potter books, by the way? Didn't I hide them to prevent you from misusing the stories and characters?

* I would never read a book by that woman, J.K. Rowling. She is transmission phobic.

- She is what?

* She is either a victim of social media and modern times or of her own prejudices. Do you think she could be disrespectful towards an indifferent llama like me?

- I do not know what she is. But I know for sure that you are not a wizard or a witch, animal. And you are not superhuman, nor superanimal in your case.

* Sing me that song, Brommy Brom. Missed it on Monday, really very much. Tell me about Nigel, who certainly is not Kylie's son.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has this future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak, and he loves to be spoken to (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The fortune cookie says,

Saying "yes" can give you great opportunities.

Coma - The White Seal

Today is Wednesday, the 21^st of October 2020.

 

Longer Letters …

  

Dear Bromford,


this is my second month at MixMax, the Institute for Wizardcraft and Witchery, in a non-specified European city in the American part of South-North Australia, the Asian-African area, you know. And everything is going very well.

After travelling here with the MixMax Express, the famous pneumatic tube, on September, the first, the sorting bat sent me to House Mysterior, the best of all and the only House at MixMax, the Institute for Wizardcraft and Witchery.

Professor McGrindelgall, head of House Mysterior, told me I was the best and finest llama House Mysterior and MixMax, the Institute for Wizardcraft and Witchery had ever seen. Well, I am the first ever llama House Mysterior and MixMax, the Institute for Wizardcraft and Witchery have ever seen but nobody cares.

My favourit class is Hide and Seek. And my favourite teacher is Professor Serious Snake, the best cocktail mixer in the whole wide Antarctica.

I have also made myself some friends and some foes. My best friends are Lone Ranger, a nice little boy with beaver teeth and very bushy hair and Pimponella Longsocks, a big girl with very red hair and lots of freckles.

My new archenemy is Drusilla Dangerface, catburglar and daughter of Professor Mc Grindelgall and headmaster Angus McGonagle, the gargling Argyle Gargoyle, who gargles Gershwin gorgeously.

After classes I like to sing. Lissame Ridgeether, the director of the Toad Choir says I had the most beautiful voice she's ever heard and I ever had. I sing like a rusty angle, she says.

And I play on the position as sneak in Quaddatch, a whizzing and whooping sports game with way too many balls and ridiculous rules, riding on a flying cannon ball. As a sneak I tell everyone everything about everyone else everytime.

But I have to go now. We have to get ready and prepared for the great feast of Halogen in the Great Shack Saturday after next.

Lots of greetings and kisses,

X X X

Yours,

KussKuss
*kisskiss*
The Llama

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 130

Today is Sunday, the 18th of October 2020.

They've got no horns and they've got no tail
They don't even know of our existence.
Am I wrong to believe in a city of gold
That lies in the deep distance, he cried

A city of gold is a nice city for a quiz.
But who decided to make this soft metal that important?
The golden age. The golden twenties. Silence is golden.
A song long enough to have chapters. What else do you need?

Don't follow me. I am lost, too ...

"Bromford"

i. Long-Shadowed Sun

I remember…
The enchanted English walled garden
Days of summer air and honey-suckled nights
The capricious dance of lavenders and cabbage-whites
Made more than 3D, glowing in the evening long-shadowed sun
Nowhere better. But in England, although nothing really changes, the weather always does…

ii. The Gold

The gold stops us
The gold always did
The gold took more lives than Uranium
Than Plutonium
Pandemonium…

The thunder approaches
The heavy sighing of the monster…
Come to break the heavy weather
Come to silence all the singing birds
Tearing up the sky like paper
White-welding through dark steel of clouds
And the release of the sudden rain

The gold stops us
The gold always did
The gold took more lives than Uranium
Than Plutonium. Pandemonium.
The Gold!

Jet engines and demolition
And the summer rain
Like finding a lost child

The roads are travelled by many
Like promises of peace
And some choose not to go
The F E A R looks like bravado
It always did
I see them waiting, smiling
On the borders in dawn's mist
Or lost to the world in their upturned boats
I'll be free or I'll die trying to be
Trying to BE.

iii. Demolished Lives

I see myself in them
The people at the borders
Waiting to exist again
Brothers, sisters, sons and daughters
Denied our so-called golden streets
Running from demolished lives
Into walls

The “haves” and the “have nothings”
The accepted and rejected
We can’t keep letting them in
We can’t keep letting them in?

The gold stops us
The gold always did
The gold took more lives than Uranium
Than Polonium. Pandemonium.

And as I stand here wondering why
A man beheaded on a smartphone
Falls into my pocket from the sky
Modern life
Everything is everywhere ..’know what I mean?
Handy.
And obscene.

iv. F E A R

F E A R is everywhere here
Under the patio
Under the hard-earned bought and paid-for home
Cushions, scented candles and the lawn
Mowing to the beat and the rumble of the coming storm

We all know about the wars that are raging
All the millions who just cannot see
There's so much more that binds us than divides us
But our F E A R denies it
While the papers stir it
The colours of the flag we wave
Were and will become blood red again

And the madmen all say they hear voices
God tells them what to do
The wars are all about money
They always were
And the money's dressed up in religion
And when it's not showing off, the money's hiding.

Something is cooking inside me...
It ain’t ready, but already…
I'm becoming harder to live with
Becoming harder to live with
You say I'm becoming harder to live with
I’m becoming harder to live with
But you can't see into my head
You can't see into my head
You can't see into my head

No, you can’t see into my head.

And the roads are full of weapons
That slide by in the night
Tanks all covered in yellow mud
Pass you on the motorway
As you drive by with the kids and the buckets and spades
Happy Days.

v. The Grandchildren of Apes

Metal in the air
Brimstone in the lungs
Breathe deeply of it
The wind is carrying the pictures
The rain is muttering the names
The wind-chimes in my garden ring like keys
To all the stolen doors.

We are the grandchildren of apes, not angels
But only we are gifted with the eyes to see
On days without F E A R, when our heads are clear
That angels, we could be.

Longer Rangers …

Choices - The Wild Wood

Greetings from and welcome to the high risk area.

 

DANGER

KEEP OFF

 

I don't know how but they found me.

Cyrus, the virus is here to stay.
Do not be influenced by influenza.
Keep the distance and one of these Bon Jovi songs.

 

* Still grumpy, old grouch?

- Leave me alone, you walking and talking flokati on four legs.

* I am not a Greek woven woolen rug with a thick loose pile, you human, you. Keep your bad mood to yourself, please. Did you read my letter?

- You have not written it yet, you Greek freak.

* Oh, that is right. My bad. Another cup of tea, dear?

 

I stand up and walk across the living-room to turn on the radio.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has this future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak, and he loves to be spoken to (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

And the fortune cookie says,

 

To err is human, to admit it,
superhuman.

 

Today is Saturday, the 17^th of October 2020.

 

Longer Growls …

* Come on, Brommy Wommy.
Don't be such a grumpy-grump.
Don't be such a grouch. 

Some moodiness might solve itself.
Did you read my letter?

 

- What letter?

 

* Didn't write it yet.

 

 

- You are such a quipster, animal.

 

* A what?

 

- A joker, a jester. Choose whatever you like.

 

* Choose what?

 

- Ah, come on. And move on.
Move on, you cameloid.

 

Chil's Song - The Wind in the Willows

 

 

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has this future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak, and he loves to be spoken to (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)
Nigel is happy in his work (In his work)

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel

* Not much happening in this song.

 

- Ah, bite me.

 

* And it is long, way too long.

Fortune cookie?

 

And the fortune cookie says,

Do not let yourself be influenced by others.

Today is Tuesday, the 13^th of October 2020.

If it was a Thursday it would be my bad-news-day.

 

Sincerely yours,
Grumpy-Grump Grouch.

 

 

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 129

 Today is Sunday, the 11th of October 2020.

Welcome to the hood... Robin Hood? Sherwood Forest. Robin Hood is a fox, Maid Marion, too. Friar Tuck is a frog. But this is not right. This is the right of Toontown. It is not Tinseltown, it is Toontown. Towntown? There are no beautiful people in this world.

 

"Bromford"

Where the beautiful people at?
I said where the beautiful people at?
Beautiful people, clap your hands
Freaky people, clap your hands
Geeky people, clap your hands
Everybody, clap your hands

Bromford is alright

Bromford is fragrant
Jealousy is gunfire
It makes you kill the vibe
(She's a wonderful thing)
Jealousy and dark times
Sinking on the web
There’s more to love than that
Jealousy is vibe down
Jealousy is vibe down

(Mmh, yeah)

I'ma go walk
All the way to the hills
But you never know what's real
So you have to be prepared
You have to be ready
You have to be ready
'Cause she can be a bitch
And it's a wonderful thing
Bromford
She's so seductive
She's got me looking for that dream
I bow down
She knows how to do it
Exactly the way I like it

Bromford is alright

Bromford is fragrant
Jealousy is gunfire
It makes you kill the vibe
(She's a wonderful thing)
Jealousy and dark times
Sinking on the web
There’s more to love than that
Jealousy is vibe down
Jealousy is vibe down

Man I came through with that big fat chain on my neck

Little did they know, no sweat
So I dimmed out, rimmed out and cracked the glass
Twenty-five pounds, can you match that bag?
'Cause if you not, raise up
I got a deal to make
And a couple bad bitches
I've been achin' to break
Wakin' and bake
I put the cake on the plate
Jealousy and me? Oh, we're making a date
I'ma vibe with this, Bromford, nigga I'ma survive this shit
I do that, did that, blow your fuckin' wig back
Forreal-a, gorilla, who loves goin' bareback
They wanna eye me down, tie me down, knock me off
But I'm a lion in the dogg pound
Now, how that sound?

Bromford is alright

Bromford is fragrant
Jealousy is gunfire
It makes you kill the vibe
(She's a wonderful thing)
Jealousy and dark times
Sinking on the web
There’s more to love than that
Jealousy is vibe down
Jealousy is vibe down

You're just what I need
And it's a wonderful thing

In this city of dreams
And it's a wonderful thing
You know how to ride me
(And it's a wonderful thing)
You know how to excite me
(And it's a wonderful thing)

She's a wonderful thing
She's a wonderful thing

 

🦊🐸🦊