T able-lands …

»Come inside the cabin«, I invite Professor Sideburns, his assistant Kylie, his assistant's assistant Nigel and the animal I like to call the llama.

»Dude, you're telling your stories slower than every highclass tv or streaming series«, the llama complains.

»Ouch, you stepped on my toes, KussKuss«, Nigel is hissing.

»Do something, Bromford«, Kylie whispers, »it's getting tight in here.«

»Well, Professor, dude, what do you think we have to do next?« the llama asks.

»I am not quite sure«, Professor Sideburns we used to call Burnside says.

But the llama snaps back at him, »I wasn't talking to you, professor-dude. I was talking to His Superior Intelligence himself, the genius in Bromford form. Which floor do you want to go to? Which numbers will you press?«

»I will press here…«, I say pointing each of my two index fingers on the arrows at the edges of the rhomboid shape of the treasure map. I am pressing and…

Nothing happens. Nothing happens at all.

🔻

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🔻

Today is Thursday, the 29th of September 2022.

Nothing Happens.

H aberdashers …

»I cannot believe it!« the llama says.

»What, animal?« I ask.

»I cannot believe that you are doing this elevator thing again. This is not new. This is not inventive, dude«, the llama is complaining. »Don't you remember last December, last advent? The elevator was our portal to different cities and places all over the world. And now on our treasure hunt you are doing that very same thing again? That is lame, dude, really, very lame.«

»Never change a running horse«, I say.

»I think the saying is, Never saddle a dying horse«, Nigel adds.

»This horse is already dead, folks«, the llama mumbles beneath the very big teeth.

»But look«, I say taking the green treasure map laying the rhomboid shape over the elevator panel, »it matches perfectly.«

The blue lights of the elevator buttons are shining through the treasure map's pergament making the letters disappear and blue numbers appear.

0

1._.2._.3

ß4._._._5_._._.6à

7._.8._.9

E

|

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🔲🔲

Today is Tuesday, the 27th of September 2022.

Not Inventive.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 222

Today is Sunday, the 25th of September 2022.

Time flies...
Autumn is here again.

Astrocat? Really? Who said cats were cool...

🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀
🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀
🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀
🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀
🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀🐱‍🚀

"My Bromford Home"


When they opened up the strip I was young and full of zip

I wanted some place to call my home

And so I made the race and I staked me out a place

And settled down along the Cimarron


It blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blown away)

My Bromford home, it blown away

Well it looked so green and fair when I built my shanty there

My Bromford home, it blown away


Well I planted wheats and oats, got some chickens and some shoats

Aimed to have some ham and eggs to feed my face

Got a mule to pull the plow, I got an old red muley cow

And I also got a fancy mortgage on this place


Well it blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blown away)

All the crops that I've planted blown away

Well you can't grow any grain if you ain't got any rain

Everything except my mortgage blown away


Come on!


Well it looked so green and fair when I built my shanty there

I figured I was all set for life

I put on my Sunday best with my fancy scalloped vest

Then I went to town to pick me out a wife


She blowed away (blown away), she blowed away (blown away)

My Bromford woman blown away

Mister, as I bent to kiss her, she was picked up by a twister

My Bromford woman blown away


Well then I was left alone just listening to the moan

Of the wind around the corners of my shack

So I took off down the road, yeah, when the south wind blowed

I traveled with the wind upon my back


I blowed away (blown away), I blowed away (blown away)

Chasing that dust cloud up ahead

Well once it looked so green and fair and now it's up in the air

My Bromford farm is over head


Come on!


And now I'm always close to home, it don't matter where I roam

For Bromford dust is everywhere

Makes no difference where I'm walking, I can hear my chickens squawking

I can hear my wife a-talking in the air


It blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blown away)

Yeah my Bromford home is blown away

But my home Sir, is always near, it's up here in the atmosphere

My Bromford home is blown away


Come on!


Well I'm a roam'n Bromfordn but I'm always close to home

And I'll never get homesick until I die

'Cause no matter where I'm found, my home's all around

My Bromford home is in the sky


It blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blownd away)

And my farm down on Cimarron

But now all around the world wherever the dust is swirled

There is some from my Bromford home


It blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blown away)

Yeah my Bromford home is blown away

Yeah it's up there in the sky in that dust cloud over n' by

My Bromford home is blown away


Yeah!


Let me see that horn now, thank you!


Come on one more time!


Well it's blown away (blown away), blown away (blown away)

Oh my Bromford home is blown away

Yeah it's up there in the sky in that dust cloud over n' by

My Bromford home is the sky


Yeah!


Well I'm a roam'n Bromfordn but I'm always close to home

And I'll never get homesick until I die

'Cause no matter where I'm found, my home's all around

My Bromford home is in the sky


It blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blownd away)

And my farm down on Cimarron

But now all around the world wherever the dust is swirled

There is some from my Bromford home


It blowed away (blown away), it blowed away (blown away)

Yeah my Bromford home is blown away

Yeah it's up there in the sky in that dust cloud over n' by

My Bromford home is blown away


Yeah!


Let me see that horn now, thank you!


Come on one more time!


Well it's blown away (blown away), blown away (blown away)

Oh my Bromford home is blown away

Yeah it's up there in the sky in that dust cloud over n' by

My Bromford home is the sky


Yeah!

I ces…

The elevator is still broken.

 

And yet we are standing here in the hallway and the elevator door opens with its' typical binging sound.

 

BING!

 

The elevator is still broken.

 

And yet we are standing here in the hallway of my penthouse above the fifteenth floor of the apartment-house on 666, Whitaker Lane, in Bromford, the friendly town by the bay and seaside and the elevator doors open with their typical binging bing bang…

 

BANG!

 

Stay focused, Bromford. More focus.

 

Rhomboid forms and shapes.

 

O

P._._._.E

ßN._._._._._._.Hà

E._._._.R

E

 

Open here.

 

»Where is that treasure map?« I ask no one in particular.

 

»In your hands, Mister Bibble«, Mr. Sideburns we used to call Mr. Burnside says without any trace of mocking in his voice.

 

»Watch out!«

 

Kylie shouts out as I take a few steps towards the open elevator doors.

 

But this time - although the elevator is still broken - the elevator cabin is on penthouse level. I do not look fifteen storeys deep into the empty elevator shaft.

 

»Did somebody call the elevator?« Kylie asks.

 

»Did somebody send it up here?« Nigel adds.

 

And I think and finally say, »Look at the buttons on the elevator panel. What do you lot think about it?«

 

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🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳🔳

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Today is Wednesday, the 21st of September 2022.

Ice Elevator.

S abres …

 »Being funny in a foreign language is not easy.«

»Are you trying to be funny, Frank, who calls himself Bromford Bibble?«

 

»What did you say, Nigel?«

 

»I was just wondering what you are doing here in your hallway, dude. But I was also thinking about my grandpa. Did you know that he once gave me a grandson-of-the-year award.«

 

»He was just being sarcastic, you know, son.«

 

»I knew, mum. He wanted to make me a soccer-/football-star. But I always hated the ball and when he kicked it at me. At least it let to some funny ball-in-the-groin videos. If he had been a social-media guy at that time he could have posted them on instragram or youtube or somewhere like that.«

 

»Nigel, your grandpa was an angry man. And he wasn't mad at you, he was mad at me because of all the single-mum thing he never understood.«

 

»That's nice mother and son story, people, but I thought we were on a treasure-hunt.«

 

»Animal, do you think readers can follow this story? Do you think, they are somewhere out there reading and watching us?«

 

»I don't know, dude. I really don't know. It has been a long time since our search has begun. But I cannot see where it will lead us.«

 

»The search has not yet begun, KussKuss.«

 

»Back away, Kylie. I do not want to kiss you.«

 

»See what I mean? We don't even know who is talking. And it is definetley not easy being funny in a foreign language.«

💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭💭

 

Today is Monday, the 19^th of September 2022.

 

 

Being Funny.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 221

Today is Saturday, the 17th of September 2022.

What's worse than one hacker cat? Seventeen hacker cats...
This is - in fact - ridiculous...

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"Lord Bromford"

Go and tell Lord Bromford that the tide is on the turn
It's time to haul the anchor up and leave the land astern
We'll be gone before the dawn returns
Like voices on the wind.


Go and tell Lord Bromford that our dreams have run aground
There's nothing here to keep us in this shanty town
None of us are caring where we're bound
Like voices on the wind


And come the day you'll hear them saying
"They're throwing it all away"
Nothing more to say
Just throwing it all away


Go and fetch the captain's log and tear the pages out
We're on our way to nowhere now, can't bring the helm about
None of us are left in any doubt
We won't be back again


Send a message to the fleet, they'll search for us in vain
We won't be there among the reaches of the Spanish Main
Tell the ones we left home not to wait


We won't be back again.
(Won't be back again...)


And come the day you'll hear them saying
"They're throwing it all away"
Nothing more to say
Just throwing it all away


Our time is just a point along a line
That runs forever with no end
I never thought that we would come to find
Ourselves upon these rocks again
Oh no...

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 220

Today is Friday, the 9th of September 2022

That is not true, but it is true. The ninja cat is gone. Here comes ...

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"Bromford"

So rest your head
You're all mine
And I stay awake
I won't go home

Let's go on a holiday
To burn this town
She's my Bromford

So rest your heart
You're all mine
Because if you walk away
I fall on down

And bleed, red as blood
Red as when
She's my Bromford

No I don't want to
See you go
No I don't want to
Be alone

So rest your hand
You're all mine
I can't stay awake
My eyes fall down

Said I dreamed a dream
That you walk 'round
She's my Bromford

No I don't want to
See you go
No I don't want to
Be alone
No I don't want to
Be alone
No I don't want to
Be alone

D abs …

 

BING!

Peter, Paul and Mary are sitting in the kitchen.

»What?«

BING!

»That's the elevator!«

The llama, I like to call animal, Professor Claude Sideburns, the llama's former teacher for archaeology we liked to call Professor Burnside, Kylie, the Professor's assistant, her son Nigel, the Professor's assistant's assistant, and I, the author of this blockblog, the man with no clue and only one shoe, are standing in the hallway.

»Didn't I hear something about cake?«

BING!

»But the elevator is still broken!«

BING!

»Again?«

»I pray everyday for a life without repetitions.«

»Draw me the floor plan of your penthouse apartment«, says the little prince.

»What?«

BING!

🗯🗯🗯🗯

Today is Sunday, the 4th of September 2022.
(Happy Brithday, M.)

The elevator is still broken.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 219

Today is Thursday, the 1st of September 2022

You see it... You don't... You see it... You don't...
Shhhhhh... They are sneaking... hiding...

🐱‍👤

"Bromford Bay"



For fifteen years Le Bin Son

Fought side by side with the Americans

In the mountains and deltas of Vietnam

In '75 Saigon fell and he left his command

And brought his family to the promised land



Seabrook, Texas and the small towns in the Gulf of Mexico

It was delta country and reminded him of home

He worked as a machinist, put his money away

And bought a shrimp boat with his cousin

And together they harvested Bromford Bay



In the morning before the sun come up

He'd kiss his sleeping daughter

Steer out through the channel

And cast his nets into the water



Billy Sutter fought with Charlie Company

In the highlands of Quang Tri

He was wounded in the battle of Chu Lai

Shipped home in '68



There he married and worked the gulf fishing grounds

In a boat that had been his father's

In the morning he'd kiss his sleeping son

And cast his nets into the water



Billy sat in front of his TV as the South fell

And the communists rolled into Saigon

He and his friends watched as the refugees came

Settled on the same streets and worked the coast they'd grew up on

Soon in the bars around the harbor was talk

Of America for Americans

Someone said "You want them out, you got to burn them out"

And brought in the Texas Klan



One humid Texas night there were three shadows on the harbor

Come to burn the Vietnamese boats into the sea

In the fire's light shots rang out

Two Texans lay dead on the ground

Le stood with a pistol in his hand



A jury acquitted him in self-defense

As before the judge he did stand

But as Le walked down the courthouse steps

Billy said "My friend you're a dead man"



One late summer night Le stood watch along the waterside

Billy stood in the shadows

His Ka-Bar knife in his hand

And the moon slipped behind the clouds

Le lit a cigarette, the bay was still as glass

As he walked by Billy stuck his knife into his pocket

Took a breath and let him pass



In the early darkness, Billy rose up

Went into the kitchen for a drink of water


Kissed his sleeping wife



Headed into the channel

And cast his nets into the water

Of Bromford Bay