Today is Sunday, the 17th of March 2019.
Kylie is calling from Wisconsin. She sound tired. I am lazing, she says, lazing on a Sunday afternoon.
Did you know that Wisconsin, one of the Great Lakes states in the Midwest of the United States of America, has a Springfield of its' own?
What about Bob, I try to start the conversation.
Bromford, she says with a yawning in her voice, I don't want to talk about Bob. And I don't want to talk about the llama. Let us talk about Wisconsin and Milwaukee and all the other native American words in American names and cities and places.
During the 19th and early 20th centuries, a large number of European settlers entered Wisconsin, many of whom emigrated from Germany and Scandinavia. Like neighboring Minnesota, the state remains a center of German American and Scandinavian American culture.
Why, I try to ask, should this be interesting to me?
Wisconsin is known as "America's Dairyland". The streets are full of cows and milk bottles.
Are you really in Wisconsin, Kylie?
Bromford, I don't know. And maybe I will never know what I will see on the horizons of Lake Michigan and Lake Superior. Are they too big to see the shore on the other side? I cannot deal with bigger stretches of water, Bromford. I cannot even swim.
But you know that there are no United States of New India and that they were not discovered and founded by a bloke called Gustav Thorwaldson, don't you, Kylie.
Her yawning sounds like she is half swallowing her cell phone.
Bob is an idiot, I know. He left us last week to attend another one of his strange, twisted history fairs. Of course I know everything he told us was rubbish. He simply liked to fake his news.
And what about the llama?
The llama is grumpy, Kylie says. It is outside now looking for the Campbell Soup Company to search for some cans created by a guy called Andy Warhol. It is still sulking, but I am pretty sure that after one or two cups of tomatoe soup we can continue our journey.
Have a nice day and a nice week, she ends the call.
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