Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 51

Today is Thursday, the 28th of March 2019.

Not really. Yesterday felt like Thursday but it was Wednesday. And now it's one of those days, you know...

"The City / Bromford"

Where are you now, my friend?

Pulling your bike past their windows again?

You know they won't let you in

You don't change the city

The city changes you

Where are you now, my love?

Still in the war with the Aphrodite Mob?

What was I thinking of?

You don't change the city

The city changes you

Under the lights

You fall into the rythm

You close your eyes

You don't see the shadows

Your shadow watches you

Where did it go, my love?

A mere song that echoed from the rooftops above

I've given all but I won't give up

You don't touch the magic

The magic touches you

When you close your eyes

And fall into the rythm

Under the lights

You don't see your shadows

Your shadows is watching you

Someday I have to say goodbye

To the city that moved me, confused me and soothed me

Someday I have to say goodbye to Bromford

I'm flying over Bromford

On a cold November night

The river snakes across the vast ocean of electric lights

The city is a living creature all on its own

And we all push like blood through its veins

So close together

So alone

Show Me, State, The Mother Of The West …

Today is Wednesday, the 27th of March 2019.

Kylie is calling from Missouri. We have visited 31 of the United States of America in the past few months, she says. Only 19 to go.

Why, I ask, are you doing this trip? Isn't it just another cheap trick to fill the posts of this blockblog of mine?

Oh, she says, come on. You've got to admit we've always wanted to have kind of a list of all the United States. And doing it like this is better than having to memorize them together with their capital cities.

Well… Here is one of these maps…

And speaking of these capital cities…

In the background I can hear the llama sing a curious song…

The Capital of Connecticut is Hartford

The Capital of Massachusetts is Boston

The Capital of New York is Albany

The Capital of Maine is Augusta

The Capital of New Hampshire is Concord

The Capital of Alaska is Juneau

The Capital of Hawaii is Honolulu

The Capital of Vermont is Montpelier

The Capital of Rhode Island is Providence

The Capital of Pennsylvania is Harrisburg

The Capital of New Jersey is Trenton

The Capital of Delaware is Dover

The Capital of Maryland is Annapolis

The Capital of Virginia is Richmond

The Capital of North Carolina is Raleigh

The Capital of South Carolina is Columbia

The Capital of Georgia is Atlanta

The Capital of Florida is Tallahassee

The Capital of Alabama is Montgomery

The Capital of Mississippi is Jackson

The Capital of Tennessee is Nashville

The Capital of Kentucky is Frankfort

The Capital of West Virginia is Charleston

The Capital of Ohio is Columbus

The Capital of Indiana is Indianapolis

The Capital of Illinois is Springfield

The Capital of Michigan is Lansing

The Capital of Wisconsin is Madison

The Capital of Minnesota is Saint Paul

The Capital of Iowa is Des Moines

The Capital of Missouri is Jefferson City

Hawkeye is watching you …

Today is Monday, the 25th of March 2019.

Kylie is calling from Iowa. South, we are going south, Kylie says. Springfield, Iowa, home of Charles M. Schulz and The Peanuts, she says.

That's a lie, the llama says. Charles M. Schulz is not from Iowa, the llama says. Stop faking like Bob, woman.

Okay, Kylie says. The Doctor is in, psychiatric help 5 cent.

I had to go to the school nurse yesterday because my stomach hurt…, I say.

You worry too much, Bromford Bibble… No wonder your stomach hurts… You've got to stop all this silly worrying, Kylie says.

How do I stop, I ask.

That's your worry! Five cents, please, Kylie says.

You guys are so weird, the llama says.

Gophers are playing hockey …

Today is Saturday, the 23rd of March 2019.

Kylie is calling from Minnesota. Land of 10,000 Lakes. Gopher State. State of Hockey. L'Étoile du Nord.

I did it, Bromford, I dit it. She is giggling in a most peculiar way.

What did you do? Instead of of an answer she screams out her triumph.

Then I hear another voice on the phone. Bromford, it's me, KussKuss.

Who, I aks.

Oh, come on, you human. You know me, KussKuss, the walking and talking llama, your old friend and companion.

Ah, I say, the animal. How have you been?

Continuity, please. Mind the continuity. The llama is not amused. You cannot be worried about me in the previous posts and now pretend you don't know me. I am OK, but Kylie must have lost her mind. She tried to rob a bank the other day, here in Springfield, Minnesota. She placed a wooden desk right in front of an ATM.

Right in front of what, I ask.

An ATM - an automated teller machine. She sat down and told the customers the machine was broken and they had to give all their money to her so that she could bring it inside the bank to deposit it into their bank accounts.

I am frowning. I know how an ATM usually works but do you know, animal?

Who cares, Bromford? Kylie has lost her mind. She had bag full of bank notes at the end of the day. She even tricked the money transporter into giving her all the cash instead of refilling the ATM. And do you know what she did with this money?

Do I have a choice to get to know that or not?

She bought a giant shredder and turned all the Presidents on the banknotes into confetti. Then she entered the IDS Center in the city of Minnesota, Minnesota…

IDS Center, I ask…

One of the highest buildings in the State of Minnesota, 241 meters or 792 feet and 57 floors or stories…

What stories, I ask…

Stop questioning everything I am trying to tell you, the llama complains. You are ruining my story, you human. She entered the building, made it to the roof and threw all the money-confetti in the air.

I did it, I did it, Kylie is singing in the background.

Do I have to worry, I ask the llama, what can I do?

You are too far away, you cannot do anything at the moment, the llama sighs. But I have go to now. She is damaging the motel room at the moment.

Look what I did, I can hear Kylie sing. I did it. I did it…

And I can still hear her singing long after the llama has hung up the phone…

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 50

Today is Quizday, the 21st of March 2019.

Spring started last night...

Have you seen any polaroids lately?...

I have only seen paranoids...

And always remember...

HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON HEARTH...

"Bromford"

Pulling on the apron strings looking up

Standing on the chair to be grown up

I feel so little, I need my pillow

I hate time I hate the clock

I wanna be a dog or I wanna be a rock

Sunday's pancakes, Miss Mary Mack

Color polaroids show my heart attack

In my second hand pants and dusty shoes

The day that the playground laughed at my shoes

It's my birthday next week and what I want please

Is to turn on the heat so the fish won't freeze

The fish in the tank froze and died last week

Oh I wanna be a dog or I wanna be a leaf

Quarry miners fisherman in my town of Bromford

Picket fences church at ten no star above my Bromford

Now I'm only 16 and I think I have an ulcer

I'm hiding my sex behind a dirty sweatshirt

I've lost 5 pounds these past few days

Trying to be class president and get straight a's

Well who gives a shit about that anyway

I just wanna be a dog or a lump of clay

Quarry miners fisherman in my town of Bromford

Picket fences church at ten no star above my Bromford

Still, I'm tired of standing still

I'm tired of living still

Everyday I dream of leaving

Everyone's talking about Becky's bust

The boys on the basketball just fuck

The same ten girls who don't know who they are

They're looking for some comfort in the back of a car

The six pack of beer, the locker room jeers

I don't wanna be me I don't wanna be here

Quarry miners fisherman in my town of Bromford

Picket fences church at ten no star above my Bromford

Red brick school house

Dead end dirt road, daffodils

No star above my Bromford

I wanna be a dog or I wanna be a rock

I don't wanna be me, I don't wanna here in Bromford

Channel your internal Badger …

Today is Sunday, the 17th of March 2019.

Kylie is calling from Wisconsin. She sound tired. I am lazing, she says, lazing on a Sunday afternoon.

Did you know that Wisconsin, one of the Great Lakes states in the Midwest of the United States of America, has a Springfield of its' own?

What about Bob, I try to start the conversation.

Bromford, she says with a yawning in her voice, I don't want to talk about Bob. And I don't want to talk about the llama. Let us talk about Wisconsin and Milwaukee and all the other native American words in American names and cities and places.

During the 19th and early 20th centuries, a large number of European settlers entered Wisconsin, many of whom emigrated from Germany and Scandinavia. Like neighboring Minnesota, the state remains a center of German American and Scandinavian American culture.

Why, I try to ask, should this be interesting to me?

Wisconsin is known as "America's Dairyland". The streets are full of cows and milk bottles.

Are you really in Wisconsin, Kylie?

Bromford, I don't know. And maybe I will never know what I will see on the horizons of Lake Michigan and Lake Superior. Are they too big to see the shore on the other side? I cannot deal with bigger stretches of water, Bromford. I cannot even swim.

But you know that there are no United States of New India and that they were not discovered and founded by a bloke called Gustav Thorwaldson, don't you, Kylie.

Her yawning sounds like she is half swallowing her cell phone.

Bob is an idiot, I know. He left us last week to attend another one of his strange, twisted history fairs. Of course I know everything he told us was rubbish. He simply liked to fake his news.

And what about the llama?

The llama is grumpy, Kylie says. It is outside now looking for the Campbell Soup Company to search for some cans created by a guy called Andy Warhol. It is still sulking, but I am pretty sure that after one or two cups of tomatoe soup we can continue our journey.

Have a nice day and a nice week, she ends the call.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 49

Today is Thursday, the 14th of March 2019.

The march came marching in and I did not recognize it. Or did I?

But today is really Thursday. Really really...

Llama? Doggie-Picture? Where are you? Are you ignoring my quizzes?

Am I a bad habit? Do you want to get rid of me? Did I mention that I do not like 2019?

"Mean Old Bromford"

Well that mean old dirty Bromford

and that low down Santa Fe.

Mean old Bromford

and that low down Santa Fe.

You know they take my girl away,

Lord, and blow back out on me.

Well my mama, she done told me,

and my papa told me too.

Mama told me

and my papa told me too.

A woman that gets in your face,

Lord she ain't no friend for you.

Well I'm goin' away now baby

and I won't be back until fall.

Goin' away, baby.

Lord, I won't be back till fall.

If I don't come back by then,

Lord, I won't be back at all.

Well I'm goin' away baby

and your cryin' won't make me stay.

Goin' away baby

and your cryin' won't make me stay.

Well the more you cry, little girl,

if anything you'll drive me away.

Well that mean old dirty Bromford

and that low down Santa Fe.

Mean old Bromford

and that low down Santa Fe.

Gonna take my gal away,

Lord, and blow back out on me.

The Captain is calling...

Today is Tuesday, the 12th of March 2019.

Kylie is calling. From where I do not know.

Her voice is full of smile and laughter.

We are going to the movies, she says.

The Captain is calling. So bye, Bromford!

Wait a minute, I want to call out. Where

is the llama? What happened?

But the line is dead... Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 48

Today is Frid... ehm... Thursday, the 8th of March 2019.

Darn it... Not again! I had one job to do and I did not do it. Thursday. It is always Thursday when I ask questions about songs about cities...

"Raining In Bromford"

This circus is falling down on its knees,

The big top is crumbling down,

It's raining in Bromford fifteen miles east,

Where you should be, no one's around.

I need a phone call,

I need a raincoat,

I need a big love,

I need a phone call.

These train conversations are passing me by,

And I don't have nothing to say,

You get what you pay for,

But I just had no intention of living this way.

I need a phone call,

I need a plane ride,

I need a sunburn,

I need a raincoat.

And I get no answers,

And I don't get no change,

It's raining in Bromford, baby,

But everything else is the same.

There's things I remember, things I forget,

I miss you, I guess that I should,

Three thousand five hundred miles away,

But what would you change if you could?

I need a phone call,

Maybe I should buy a new car,

I can always hear a freight train,

Baby if I listen real hard,

And I wish, I wish it was a small world,

'Cause I'm lonely for the big towns,

I'd like to hear a little guitar,

I guess it's time to put the top down.

I need a phone call,

I need a raincoat,

I really need a raincoat,

I really, really need a raincoat,

I really, really, really need a raincoat,

I really need a raincoat.

Do Wolverines Wear Mittens?

Today is Wednesday, the 6th of March 2019.

Kylie is calling from Michigan.

Last Monday they took a boat over Lake Michigan from Chicago, Illinois, to Springfield, Michigan, Kylie, the llama and Bob.

Today is the Wednesday of Ashes as Queen Sieglinde I. called it in Finland which is located in Central Europe, as Bob says.

Last Monday, he says, was the Monday of Roses, Finland's and Central Europe's greatest Mardi Gras holiday explorer Gustav Thorwaldson brought to the United States of New India back in the days when he returned for the second or third time with his mighty ship Hulda.

The people of Michigan call this special time of year The Holidays of Carnival which is Finnish for Say-Bye-Bye-To-Meat-Feast, Bob announces in his narrator and presentator voice.

Oh, that is amazing, Bob, I can hear Kylie squeak in a high pitched voice. It is so interesting and fantastic.

In Carnival times, Bob goes on, all people of New India and in the Old World turn into marching bands with colourful and funny uniforms. In every town and city there are great parades. The marching bands are playing their drums and trumpets and all women who have turned into spagating cheerleaders are throwing sweets and candys and pearls at the spectators in the streets.

In honor of Queen Sieglinde I. and Gustav Thorwaldson there are parties and orgies everywhere till the next Friday, the 13th.

Oh, you are such a smart and clever man, Bob, Kylie sighs.

Enough is enough, I can hear the llama call at the other end of the line. You are a history faker, Bob.

Please be quiet, my dear animal, Bob says calmly. You are not supposed to talk, anyway.

Mardi Gras was yesterday, on Tuesday. The llama seams not want to be quiet. And it is a great holiday in New Orleans, Louisiana, not in Springfield, Michigan. Finland is not in Central Europe and Gustav Thorwaldson did not discover New India in behalf of an imaginary Queen Sieglinde I..

My dear Kylie, I can hear Bob say, don't you think your travelling companion needs another lesson.

There is a rumbling noise on the other side of the telephone line. And I can hear the llama say breathlessly, what is going on? What are you doing with those ropes? No. Stay away from me…

I have to go now, I can hear Kylie say. And she hangs up the phone.

Lllama? Llamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???

My own voice and cry give me the chills.

JUst aNOther mOmEnT...

Today is Friday, the 1st of March 2019.

I am on the march.

I put this moment here...
I put this moment ...hear ...hear ...hear

Not again !!!

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