Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 43

Today is Today, the 31st of January. The first month of the new year is over. Thursday is Today, January of the 31st.

I met a Klingon warrior the other day and he said that everything was a great big coingydoingy. He said that waving his Baklava in Bromford's highest class shopping mole. Something is something thursday... Town? It is really late townight...

"Bromford"

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

I've got a picture in my head (in my head)

It's me and you, we are in bed (we are in bed)

You'll always be there when I call (when I call)

You'll always be there most of all (all, all, all)

This is not Bromford, like I understood

Is not Bromford, like, like, like

This is not Bromford, like I understood

Is not Bromford, like, like, like

Runaway, runaway, is there anybody there

Runaway, runaway, is there anybody there

Get away, get away, get away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

Get away, get away, get away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

Ho-o-o-o, woho-o-o-o

Ho-o-o-o, woho-o-o-o

I've got a picture in my room (in my room)

I will return there I presume (should be soon)

The greatest irony of all (shoot the wall)

It's not so glamorous at all (all, all, all)

This is not Bromford, like I understood

Is not Bromford, like, like, like

This is not Bromford, like I understood

Is not Bromford, like, like, like

Runaway, runaway, is there anybody there

Runaway, runaway, is there anybody there

Get away, get away, get away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

Get away, get away, get away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

Ho-o-o-o, woho-o-o-o

Ho-o-o-o, woho-o-o-o

This is not Bromford (runaway)

This is not Bromford

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, like (runaway)

Like, uh

My father always said, "What is that yowling noise?" when I was listening to this song. Those were the days...

The Grass is always bluer on the other Side …

Today is Monday, the 28th of January 2019.

Kylie is calling from Kentucky. Kentucky fried chicken the other day. I am back, the llama says. And I am not a werewolf. Nobody said you were a werewolf, Kylie answers. I said you were a werebus. That is something completely different. The llama does not know what the young lady is talking about. Who said I was a young lady, Kylie asks. Bromford loves fried chicken, the llama thinks out loud. K.F.C. - what a franchise. The capitol of Kentucky is Frankfort, Kylie says. Frankfurt, the llama asks, like that German town near Kassel in Germany? No, it's Frankfort like in Frank's Ford. The town of Frankfort likely received its name from an event that took place in the 1780s. American Indians attacked a group of early European-American pioneers from Bryan Station, who were making salt at a ford in the Kentucky River. Pioneer Stephen Frank was killed, and the settlers thereafter called the crossing "Frank's Ford." This name was later elided to Frankfort. Really, the llama asks. The motto of the United state of Kentucky is, "United we stand, divided we fall" and "Deo gratiam habeamus" which means "We have a new Pope. The Pope smokes dope." in Swiss. How really very interesting, the llama says bored. There is a new fast food chain in Kentucky these days, Kylie says. K.F.L. K.F.L, the llama asks. Kentucky fried llamas, Kylie says. Think about it.

WHAAAT?

It's Finger Lickin' Good!

Always the Volunteers …

Today is Saturday, the 26th of January 2019.

Kylie is calling from Tennessee. Not from Memphis, Tennessee, but from Springfield. She is nervous. Last night in the light of a nine-three-quarters moon the llama has left the motel room and started strolling the streets. It has not returned yet. Kylie fears it might have turned into an English-speaking Werebus, one of those red London double-decker ones, searching for victims to take to the nearest square-dance contest. Kylie is reading the newspaper this morning. There is a story about a schoolbus full of catholic priests that ran over Springfield Cliff last night. The sad result and news is - they all survived. Now she is sitting in a restaurant near the town hall. Her mind is wandering off to that song she heard on the radio the other day while she is staring through the windowpane into the cold air of a late morning. She saw the ghost of Elvis on Union Avenue, followed him up to the gates of Graceland. Then she watched him walk right through. Springfield, not Memphis, she has to remind herself. The waitress pours another cup of coffee and asks her, 'Tell me are you a Christian child?' And she says, 'Ma'am, I am tonight'. Kylie is shivering. Goosebumps are giving her the chills. Not walking in Memphis, she tells herself. And maybe Bromford Bibble is that strange Werebus creature she has never heard or read about - not the animal. Outside the restaurant on Union Avenue a red double-decker bus overtakes a convertible car with a driver with large sun-glasses and long black hair and thick sideburns. Has anybody seen Sam Lowry?

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 42

Today is Thursday, the 24th of January 2019.

Summer is almost gone. I have got nothing else to say today. Leave. Believe. And than I draw her face, now I'm a beleaver. Frankie goes to Holyhead... Bah, Humbug!

"Up All Night (Frankie Miller Goes To Bromford)"

Is everybody happy now? Is everybody clear?

We could drive out to the dunes tonight,

'Cause summer's almost here.

I've been up all night,

I might sleep all day,

Get your dreams just right,

Let 'em slip away,

I might sleep all day.

When the roads are clear,

We'll head on out of here,

If you're coming back,

I'll see you in the morning,

I'm just staring at,

The ceiling staring back at me,

Just waiting for the daylight,

To come crawling done on me.

And I've been up all night,

I might sleep all day,

Get your dreams just right,

And let 'em slip away,

I might sleep all day.

Oh, it's too late to get high now,

Oh, it's too late to get high now.

Fix your hair just right,

Put your jeans on tight,

Wear a dress, so I can get it off real easy,

'Cause I've been thinking I'd,

Like to see your eyes,

Open up real wide the minute that you see me,

If you don't come through,

I wouldn't wait for you,

I understand that everyone goes disappearing,

Into the greatest grey,

That covers over everyday,

And hovers in the distance,

And the distance and the distance.

I've been up all night,

I might sleep all day,

Get your dreams just right,

Let 'em slip away,

I might sleep all day.

Oh, it's too late to get high now,

Oh, it's too late to get high now,

I said baby I'm not alone,

I said baby I'm not alone, it's too late,

Oh, baby I'm not alone,

I said Baby I'm not alone, it's too late,

Oh, only wanna get high, it's too late,

Oh I Only wanna get high, I said it's too late,

It's too late, oh.

No Call Today...

Today is Sunday, the 20th of January 2019.

Kylie did not call today. The llama did not call today. The messenger is worried. Are having problems with their mobile phones? Is it the cosmic radiance of the blood moon? Have they forsaken me? I can feel a howl rising in my throat. Time for hunting, my inner werewolf cries ...

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 41

Today is Thursday, the 17th of January 2019.

Thursday, again. Did I ever mention that time flies? Thursday? Again? Last Thursday feels like yesterday. And this year? Feels like it is over, too... Two points for the city when two times in the title? Llama will never make it count. Never ever... Let the fanfares ring...

"Bromford, Bromford"

Start spreadin' the news, I'm leavin' today

I want to be a part of it

Bromford, Bromford

These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray

Right through the very heart of it

Bromford, Bromford

I want to wake up, in a city that doesn't sleep

And find I'm king of the hill

Top of the heap

These little town blues

Are melting away

I'll make a brand new start of it

In old Bromford

If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere

It's up to you, Bromford, Bromford

Bromford, Bromford

I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps

And find I'm a number one, top of the list

King of the hill, a number one

These little town blues

Are melting away

I'll make a brand new start of it

In old Bromford

And

If I can make it there

I'm gonna make it anywhere

It's up to you, Bromford

Bromford

Bromford

Steel Magnolia Hospitality…

Today is Tuesday, the 15th of January 2019.

Kylie is calling from Mississippi. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three… We don't have time for nonsense, Kylie says. We don't have time for no big rivers and we do not have time for the Adventures of Tom Laurel and Huckleberry Hardy. We will not meet the author Mark Twist or Longhorne Clemens or whatever his real name may be. Why not, the llama asks. And it thinks the authors real name is Foghorn Leghorn. We don't have time, Kylie says. But look what I found, the llama replies…

It's a map, Kylie says. Yes, the llama replies. A map of the United State of America with all states marked we have visisted so far. But why, Kylie asks, are they all marked in pink? Because we have infected them by visiting them, the llama says. Infected them with what, Kylie asks. We have infected them with truth and with

P!NK !!!

Do you remember her song? Dear Mr. President?

Get your cartoon rooster and come, animal, we have to go, I can hear Kylie shout. And up she hangs …

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 40

Today is Thursday, the 10th of January 2019.

Saturday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Here is Bromford writing. Bromford, Bromford Bibble. I copy and paste things and I post them. Things are lyrics for popular music. Well, guess the city, I think. I like cities. Cities are cool. Maybe they are cold these days. Well, whatever... Think about things...

"Bromford"

Come on, oh my star is fading

And I swerve out of control

And if I, oh if I'd only waited

I'd not be stuck here in this hole

Come here, oh my star is fading

And I swerve out of control

And I swear I waited and waited

I've got to get out of this hole

But time is on your side

It's on your side, now

Not pushing you down

And all around

It's no cause for concern

Come on, oh my star is fading

And I see no chance of release

And I know I'm dead on the surface

But I am screaming underneath

And time is on your side

It's on your side, now

Not pushing you down

And all around

Oh, it's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain

And I'm on my way back down again

Stood on the edge

Tied to a noose

Sick to the stomach

You can say what you mean

But it won't change a thing

I'm sick of the secrets

Stood on the edge, tied to the noose

And you came along and you cut me loose

You came along and you cut me loose

You came along and you cut me loose

The Yellowhammer...

Today is Wednesday, the 9th of January 2019.

Kylie is calling from Alabama. Is today really Wednesday, Kylie asks. I mean like really, really Wednesday and why? She says, they, the llama and her, met a guy who called himself Forrest, Forrest Gump. And he told them about his girlfriend, Jenny, and how he told her that she should go home to Greenbow, ALABAMA! And again the llama is shouting in the background.

* SHE HAS NOT PREPARED ANYTHING FOR TODAY!
SHE TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT WEDNESDAY!
SHE IS BECOMING BROMFORD BIBBLE!

- My mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates.

You never know what you're gonna get.

What a dumb saying that is, Kylie grumbles. When you buy and eat a box of chocolate you should know the flavours and better know what you gonna get. Think about all those allergies and intolerances. And what about these lists of ingredients they have to put on everything these days? I have got a feeling Mrs. Gump is not that clever at all...

Would you like a Bubba-Gump shrimp?

Like Ice in the Sunshine…

Today is Monday, the 7th of January 2019.

Kylie is calling from Florida. I could have sworn we have been to Florida before, the llama says. No, Kylie replies, we have been to the other sunshine state of the United States lately. We have been to Hawaii. Do you remember? Mr Mojo Rising? The King and all his companions? King George, the llama asks. Kylie is humming a toneless tune. Can you buy me one of those Florida shirts, the llama asks. Kylie does not know what the animal is talking about. Do you not remember those colourfull shirts with short arms and designs with flowers and palm trees and so on, the llama asks. This private eye from the eighties with the chest hair and the mustache used to wear them. I want a shirt like that and two four-legged companions called Zeus and Apollo. And I want a Magnum Popsicle with extra thick chocolate crust. And I want a surfboard. And I want a Higgins, whatever that may be. You can almost hear Kylie shake her head through the phone. We are in Tallahassee, Florida, animal. This is the home of old folks and pensioners, of aligators and crocodiles, of flamingos and bottlenose dolphins. All right, the llama says, and they all wear beige, right? And they eat Cuban food. I don't know where you have got those images from, but if you wish, Kylie says. The hairy man with the colourfull shirts you were talking about is Thomas Magnum, a private investigator from a TV series from the nineteen-eighties. This was also set on Hawaii and not in Florida. Wait a minute, the llama says. Is Miami a place in Florida? Yes, Kylie says, now you are on the right way. OK, I will need some strong black trash bags and a white boat and some sharp knives now. Why, for heaven's sake, Kylie asks. Because, the llama tells her, I am a forensic technician specialized in blood spatter pattern analysis now. And I am a secret serial killer. But you can call me, Dexter, if you like. Fancy a doughnut, darling? Oh, my goodness, Kylie says. You have been watching too much TV lately. It is too humid here if you want my opinion, the llama says…

Peaches are only hairy apples…

Today is Saturday, the 5th of January 2019.

Kylie is calling from Georgia, just another one of the states of the United States of America. Kylie is talking about loss. She has lost a pile of sugar beets today. They came with large and loud machines and piled them beets on top of an open truck. When they drove them beets away Kylie was already missing them and felt so lost and alone.

* Bromford Bibble?

- Is that my llama on the phone?

* No, I am your lama. 

Where is your butler?

- Who?

* The man who used to answer your phone 

and used to report to you what Kylie was saying?

- I don't know. Was there someone like that?

Maybe the messenger became a passenger?

Tell me more about Georgia, I ask the llama. How has it been so far? It is deserted, I can hear Kylie moan. No beats around. But the capital city of Atlanta is crowded since 1985 when King George came back from a hunting trip from the Blue Ridge Mountains being part of the Appalachian Mountains system. He named the state all by himself after his mother Cassandra II. told him to do something in and with his life. And so he gave the State of Georgia and its first Governor James Oglethorpe a noble motto of wisdom, justice and moderation. And still nobody knows where those open trucks with those frozen and dusty sugar beets are heading. Kylie is talking about Lost and the Others, the llama says and is very worried. Everybody seems to be worried these days.

Hang on tight, Bromford Bibble. Hang in there and always have Georgia on your mind…

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 39

Today is Thursday, the 3rd of January 2019. Is it a city? Is it only a part of a city? I am not sure... I am not sure... But I will make it count...

:D :D :D D: D: D:

"Bromford"

I never go to New York City these days

Something about the buildings in Bromford just kills me

Maybe in a month or two

Maybe when things are different for me

Maybe when things are different for you

All of this shit just sticks in my head

There's anything different these days

The light in her eyes goes out

I never had light in my eyes anyway

Maybe things are different these days

It's good for everybody to hurt somebody once in a while

The things I do to people I love shouldn't be allowed

Something about the buildings in Bromford just kills me

Something about the buildings in Bromford just kills me

There's anything different these days

The light in her eyes goes out

I never had light in my eyes anyway

Maybe things are different these days

I dream I'm in New York City some night

And angels float down from all the buildings

Something about an angel just kills me

I keep hoping something will

I keep hoping, I keep hoping, I keep hoping

There's anything different these days

The light in her eyes goes out

Never had light in my eyes anyways

Maybe things are, maybe maybe maybe

Maybe things are, maybe maybe maybe maybe

Maybe things are different

Maybe things are different

Maybe things are different

The light goes out

I never had light in my eyes anyways

Maybe things are different these days

Lalalalalalaa

Lalalalalalaa

Lalalalalaaaa

Lalalalalalaaa

Lalalalalalaaa

Lalalalalalaaa

Lalalalalaaaa

Dum spiro spero …

Today is Tuesday, the 1st of January 2019. Looks like we have successfully made it through another of those years.

Kylie is calling from South Carolina. But to be true it is not the young lady who is calling today. It is the accompanying animal, the laudable llama. It is our all known kooky KussKuss. Kylie has got a hangover in Hannover, SC. Too many Ramos Gin Fizzs at a New Year's Eve party are hell, she thinks today. She grumbles, the llama should be quite and keep the curtains closed for bright light is the enemy today. The llama is still wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Sylvester Stallone from that first boxer movie when he was all young and hands… well young… when he was young. It was celebrating the Feast of Saint Sylvester yesterday, the animal claims. And it claims that pure Gin without the Fizz would not cause any headaches at all.

And while Kylie is shutting her eyes in pain she still has to hear the llama sing - and no, it is not Old Land Sign…

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp!

And surely I'll be mine!

And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes

And pu'd the gowans fine

But we've wander'd mony a weary foot

Sin auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl'd i' the burn

Frae mornin' sun till dine.

But seas between us braid hae roar'd

Sin auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere!

And gie's a hand o' thine!

And we'll tak a right guid willy waught,

For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

Should old acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind?

Should old acquaintance be forgot,

And long, long ago.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

And for long, long ago, my dear

For long, long ago.

We'll take a cup of kindness yet

For long, long ago.

And surely youll buy your pint-jug!

And surely I'll buy mine!

And we'll take a cup of kindness yet

For long, long ago.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

We two have run about the hills

And pulled the daisies fine;

But we've wandered manys the weary foot

Since long, long ago.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,

From morning sun till dine;

But seas between us broad have roared

Since long, long ago.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my trusty friend!

And give us a hand of yours!

And we'll take a deep draught of good-will

For long, long ago.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

TOO LONG! STOP IT! I can hear Kylie scream through the phone. STOP SINGING!

Did you know, the llama asks, that the palmetto tree is a ghost-palm? If you do not believe me… take a look at the flag of South Carolina. Take a look at the half-moon and think about Islam-Arabia…