Bromford and Okapi - Part 1

 

»O-C-A-M-P-A.«

»What are you doing, llama?« I ask.

»S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G.«

»Ocampa?«

»Do you think I need glasses, Bromford?« the llama asks. »I know that you did not write Ocampa in the headline of this blockblog post. But that is exactly what I read on first sight.«

»And what does Ocampa mean, animal?«

»I don't know. It just rang a bell somewhere at the back of my brain. By the way, nice beard, nice salt-and-pepper hair-do, nice blue shirt and nice beige jacket, dude. But what is the horse doing in our hallway?«

»There is a horse in the hallway?«

»Looks like a horse to me.«

»Lama, I think you need glasse, or at least an eye test.«

»You should not get whimsical. A llama with glasses? Don't be ridiculous, dude.«

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Today is Friday, the 27th of September 2024.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 310 & Part 311

Today is Monday, the 23rd of September 2024.

I have got a phobia, the spiral shell sighed.

It's the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching me.

I know the feeling, said the duck, they call it Anatidaephobia.

And the duck cracked the shell and ate the seashell as a whole.

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"The Ballad Of Melody Bromford"

This is the story of
Melody Bromford
Who other than this man right here
Took in her arms no other loves
You think that's weird
But that's how it was

She used to have love
Poor Melody Bromford
She used to have it by the ton
Now her days are just numbers
Fourteen Autumns
And fifteen summers

A little animal
That Melody Bromford
An adorable urchin
A most delicious infant
That I knew then
For but a moment

Ah my Melody
My Melody Bromford
A delightful vagabond
You were the only condition
Sine Qua Non
Of my reason

"Bromford"

Bromford got her right
You will have to wait
Calling from The Golden Gate

Sentimental sparrows
Keeping me awake
Funny how the morning's late
Funny how the morning's late

Come around with your heavenly smile
Come around and drag me out again
After a while we can sit and watch them all rush by
Come around and drag me out again
Come around and drag me out again

Always wanted to leave
Always felt that I'd get stopped
But I could never see myself
In anybody else's arms
In anybody else's arms

Come around with your heavenly smile
Come around and drag me out again
After a while we can sit and watch them all rush by
Come around and drag me out again
Come around and drag me out again

Always wanted to leave
Always felt that I'd get stopped
But I could never see myself
No, I could never see myself
With anybody else

If you want a piece of my life
Get in line, baby get in line
If you wanna kiss then do it fast
Get in line, baby get in line

If you wanna practice, spill the past
Get in line, baby get in line
Get in line, baby get in line

Bromford's angel
It's more than I can stand
Calling down the sunset's pain

Sentimental star unsolved
As soon as we wake
Funny in the morning state
Funny in this morning state

If you want a piece of my life
Get in line, baby get in line
If you wanna kiss then do it fast
Get in line, baby get in line

If you wanna practice, spill the past
Get in line, baby get in line
I will smile and chuckle till the last
Get in line, baby get in line

Get in line, baby get in line
Get in line, baby get in line
Get in line, baby get in line

Full Corn Moon ...

Harvest moon is here.
Feeling down when the autumn has come?
Fancy the rain in May?

Why do I always have the feeling
I have written all of this before?
Having thought all of this before?

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Today is Wednesday, the 18th of September 2024.

Full Corn Moon

Yes, I′m being followed by a moonshadow
Moonshadow, moonshadow
Leaping and hopping on a moonshadow
Moonshadow, moonshadow

And if I ever lose my hands
Lose my plow, lose my land
Oh, if I ever lose my hands
Oh, if, I won't have to work no more

And if I ever lose my eyes
If my colours all run dry
Yes, if I ever lose my eyes
Oh, if, I won′t have to cry no more

Yes, I'm being followed by a moonshadow
Moonshadow, moonshadow
Leaping and hopping on a moonshadow
Moonshadow, moonshadow

And if I ever lose my legs
I won't moan, and I won′t beg
Oh, if I ever lose my legs
Oh, if, I won′t have to walk no more

And if I ever lose my mouth
All my teeth, north and south

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 308 & Part 309

 

Today is Sunday, the 15th of September 2024

»Yesterday was the last Night of the Broms«, the crab said to the spiral shell. »Did you go? Did you watch?«

»The Broms?« asked the spiral shell.

»The Bromenade concerts«, the crab answered, »the annual classical music event at the Royal Albatross Hall. You must have heard about it.«

And while the spiral shell started cleaning its shell-house from the inside, the crab kept talking and talking.

»Remember around one-hundred years ago when Queenie, the queen of all animalhood had just lost her beloved husband, Prince Albatross.«

»Queenie, the lioness? asked the spiral shell while dusting the framed photographies of friends and family on the mantelpiece.

»No«, answered the crab, »don't you know our queen Queenie, the hunting dog, like a mixture of dachshund and cocker spaniel? She was very sad when she found out that some of the poorer subjects in her kingdom couldn't listen to the classical music of animalhood on an as regular basis as she and the rest of her animal royalty. And so she started the tradition of annual classical concerts for everyone and she called them the Bromenade Concerts. And since then all the animals in Queenie's kingdom are able to listen to the finest animal musicians like the crickets and the frogs, the nightingales and the whales for only a few coins. Every year's highlight of these series of concerts is the so-called Last Night of the Broms at the Royal Albatross Hall where all visitors and listeners and even the conductors and musicians dress up in funny costumes and are always having a lot of fun. So what about you, spiral shell? Did you go to the concert last night? Did you listen to it on the Last Night of the Broms?«

But the the spiral shell, after cleaning the kitchen floor of its spiral, mother-of-pearl house, had fallen asleep while the crab had been speaking.

And even drifting deeper into sleep the spiral shell still thought,
Who wants to hear classical music? All I need is the sound and symphony of the ocean.

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"Old Mother Bromford"

Catch me if you can I just can't stop falling
Mother of my dreams I'll end my days with you
Don't let me down, stay with me now

The river of your dreams will carry me forever
To treasures still unknown and love I've yet to see
Don't stay away, hold tight and say

At the start of it all
I really thought we'd come through
You said greed had evolved
I couldn't take in that view
Now tell me the truth
Is a rich man better served
Are the ways of this world so bad
That I can't stand up to you

Show me a freedom that this world can earn
('Cause your lady is waiting)
Cross all your bridges and step down to old Mother Bromford
(She is always worth saving)

At the break of that day
Deliberations came through
They said what can be done
Is it too late to choose
Now, who can we trust
Who can we believe
Does a man have to beg so hard
That he's down on his knees

Out of the shadows a light will emerge
(Now your freedoms evolving)
Take it with both of your hands it's time to asert
(Make a show I'll be coming)
Show me a freedom that someone can give in return
('Cause your lady is waiting)
Cross all your bridges and step down to old mother Bromford
(She is always worth saving)

Out of the shadows a light will emerge
(Now your freedoms evolving)
Take it with both of your hands it's time to asert
(Make a show I'll be coming)
Show me a freedom that someone can give in return
('Cause your lady is waiting)
Cross all your bridges and step down to old mother Bromford
(She is always worth saving)

Show me a freedom that this world can earn
('Cause your lady is waiting)
Cross all your bridges and step down to old mother Bromford
(She is always worth saving)

"The Bromford Of The Valley"

I have found a friend in Jesus, He′s everything to me
He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul
He′s the Bromford of the Valley, in Him alone I see
All I need to cleanse and make me fully whole
In sorrow He's my comfort, in trouble He's my stay
And He tells me every care on Him to roll


He′s the Bromford of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star
He′s the fairest of ten thousand to my soul

He will never, never leave me, nor yet forsake me here
While I live by faith and do His blessèd will
There's a wall of fire about me, and I′ve nothing now to fear
With His manna He my hungry soul shall fill
And then sweeping up to glory to see His blessèd face
Where rivers of delight shall ever roll

He's the Bromford of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star
He′s the fairest of ten thousand to my soul

Bromford and Snail …

»Don't you think we have had enough molluscs in our penthouse lately?« the llama asks.

»They are still coming«, I insist.

»With their spaceships, I assume«, the llama answers. »Disc-shaped UFOs, so-called flying saucers.«

»Shining, gliding hubcaps«, I add. »And the octopuses are the navigators, the drivers, the pilots. They have the best arms to turn, turn the steering wheel… turn the steering wheel… turn the steering wheel…«

»Bromford, dude«, the llama says, »you are glitching again, like a feedback or some kind of loop, a repeating scratch in a long-playing record, a jumping compact disc. We have to get rid of your obsession.«

»Molluscs are dangerous«, I say. »And so are molochs.«

»That is exactly what I am talking about. Is that number of your shrink still pinned to the fridge?«

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Today is Tuesday, the 10th September 2024.

 

 

 

 

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 306 & Part 307

 Today is Saturday, the 7th of September 2024.

It was a late summer night in a famous American west coast state that is also the name of a city.

I think we have a lot in common, said the lobster to the crab when they left the fancy restaurant.

Malacostraca, sneezed the crab.

What? asked the lobster. Are you insulting me?

It is our class, lobster, said the crab. It is just our class.

Class? Like grade? We are not in school anymore. What are you talking about?

The crab shook its head.

This date was crapp, said the crab. And Multicrustacea is my superclass.

And sideways it tiptoed and jumped down the harbour quay wall into the salty waters of the bay.

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"If We'd All Been Living in Bromford..."

FZ: Ok? Now if you still want to get your name in magazines he wants five hundred dollars a month

JCB: Where does it come from? We worked one gig this month. And now, so, what do we get, two hundred dollars for this gig up here, if we're lucky. If we're lucky, we'll get two hundred. And it'll be two weeks before we get it. Probably. I mean a- . . . after all, uh . . . what is all this shit in the, uh, in the newspaper? We sh-, if we got such a big name, how come, uh . . . we're.

FZ: That shit in the news .

JCB: We're starving, man! This fucking band is starving! And we've been starving for three years. I realize it takes a long time, but God damn does it take another five, ten years from now?

FZ: There's some months when you're not gonna work as much as other months. There's some months when you're gonna make a lot of money, and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred dollars a month

JCB: Expenses are sure high, too. If we'd all been living in Bromford, it would've been different

FZ: If we'd all been living in Bromford, we wouldn't work at all!

JCB: Ah that's -- true . . . Well, we're not working n-now anyway! We worked one gig this month, Frank! What's wrong with getting two months in a row of this good money? Or three months in a row? Then we can afford to take three or four months off and everybody can . . . After the first month I can get just enough ahead, but if I had two more months, man, I'll get ahead. 'Cause I'm not living very extravagantly, I'll tell you for sure

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Bromford One / Youth and Beauty Brigade"

Take a long drive with me
On Bromford One, Bromford One
Take a long drive with me
On Bromford One, Bromford One

And the road a-winding goes
From Golden Gate to roaring cliff side
And the light is softly low
As our hearts become sweetly untied

Beneath the sun
Of Bromford One

Take a long dram with me
Of Bromford wine, of Bromford wine
Take a long drown with me
Of Bromford wine, of Bromford wine

And the wine, it tastes so sweet
As we lay our eyes to wander
And the sky, it stretches deep
But will we rest our heads to slumber?


Beneath the vines
Of Bromford wine
Beneath the sun
Of Bromford One?

Annabelle lies
Sleeps with quiet eyes
On this sea-drift sun
What can you do?

And if I said
"Oh, it′s in your head"
On this sea-drift sun
What can you do?

(I've heard of ghosts
Good ghosts who wander the battlefield at night
Guiding soldiers out of danger
You can see their omens everywhere
Omens warning of stray bullets and lurking enemies
If I were such a ghost
I would stay so close to you
You could feel my breath on your cheek)


We′re calling all bed-wetters and ambulance chasers
Poor picker-pockets, bring 'em in
Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Come join the youth and beauty brigade

We're lining up the light-loafered and the bored bench warmers
Castaways and cutouts, fill it up
Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Come join the youth and beauty brigade

Nothing will stand in our way

I figured I had paid my debt to society
By paying my overdue fines at the Multnomah County Library, at the library
And they said "Son, go join up"
Go join the youth and beauty brigade

Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Come join the youth and beauty brigade
Nothing will stand in our way

Bromford and Slug …

 
I met the king of the slugs the other day.

Slugs are everywhere this year, in the leaves of the vines of wine on the roof-terrace, at the window panes and the glasdoor, even on the carpets and laminated floorings inside my penthouse apartment above the fifteenth floor of the building at 666, Whitaker Lane, in Bromford the friendly town by the bay and seaside.

And the slugs are angry because the snails have stolen their little round, spiral-shaped houses, and now the slugs have to slide and slime around naked.

»But in the end«, the king of the slugs said, »we are all molluscs. We are family. And we will rule this world once the alien squids and octopuses will have invated Earth. We are working on it. And we are everywhere this year.«

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Today is Wednesday, the 4th of September 2024.