Longer Sparrow Grass …

"Human being, human being, I need your knowledge, I need your knowledge."

'Llama?"

The animal is still in the elevator shaft in self-isolation and still annoying as ever.

"Asparagus! Asparagus!"

"What are you doing, animal? Are you trying to cast a spell, again? Do you still think that this postal owl withheld your Hogwarts letter all these years since your eleventh birthday?"

"Don't be silly, dude! I am talking about the garden asparagus, this very valuable seasonal vegetable."

OK, I think. I am not a fan of asparagus and I do not know why the animal should be thinking about it. It never proved to be a big fan, either.

"It is about this discussion I've been having with our favourite barkeeper, Speedy, the other day."

"Discussions with Speedy?" I ask. "In times of self-isolation and Corona?"

"You remember? Secret tunnel between elevator shaft and bar kitchen? And we keep the distance, if you really want to know. Sometime we are not even in hearing distance. And maybe he thinks I am just a voice in his head or some kind of ghost in the walls."

"This does not sound good", I say. "Maybe I should give Speedy a call and talk to him about this."

"Do whatever you think you have to, dude. But I have a question and Speedy does not know it either. Are white asparagus and green asparagus parts of the same plant? Are white asparagus spears the roots of this plant and green ones the parts above the ground? Or are white ones the young ones and green ones the older ones once they broke through the ground into bright daylight?"

"I have to admit", I say, "I do not know it and I have never thought about it."

"Daylight."

"All I can say", I say, "is that asparagus and the whole asparagus season seem to be very important to the people in that Klingon country in Central Europe."

"Daylight!" The animal's voice is full of longing. "I haven't seen the light of day for quite some time now, dude!"

"Daylight?" I am a little bit confused. "Aren't we talking about asparagus any longer?"

"No, I don't think so, dude!" The animal has changed the subject again. "Klingons, you say? Do you know what the name of the Klingon home planet is, dude?"

"I don't know", I say. "Klingon Prime, maybe?"

"You and your knowledge are not reliable, dude", says the llama. "I will go and ask Speedy."

"And all that remains is holy silence", I say and return to my book on the roof terrace of my penthouse on top of the skyscraper on 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford, the friendly town by the shore and seaside on this sunny Sunday afternoon.

Today is Sunday, the 26th of April 2020.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 104

Today is Friday, the 24th of April 2020.

I am a bad liar. So believe me when I say that.

"Bromford City"

Broadway lights in taxi cabs

Everybody is moving fast

Uptown Downtown

What's your fame

She can take what you can bring

She gave me a light

Came up to the inner city

She raise me up

And taught me to fight

Yeah

She opens my mind

I got to the late great day

The greatest town that you'll ever find

She's my heart

I love Bromford City

She's leaving down so many time

Yeah

Life is always tough

On Bromford City

Oh lord

But she's fine, she always survives

Yeah

She's the queen

And stands her ground

Nobody can take her down

Good time, bad time she can swine

Ended any but a vibe

She's a rock

As...

And no one can take her freedom away

Can take her freedom

I love her style

Whatever she's clean or dirty

She's the greatest town that you'll ever find

She's my heart

I love Bromford City

She's leaving down so many time

Yeah

Life is always tough

On Bromford City

Oh lord

But she's fine, she always survives

Yeah

You know she's my heart

I really love Bromford City

She's lived and died so many times

You know life can be real tough

On my real city

But she's fine, she always survives

Yeah

She's my heart

I love Bromford City

She's leaving down so many time

Yeah

Life is always tough

On Bromford City

Oh lord

But she's fine, she always survives

Oh yeah

She's my heart

I love Bromford City

She's leaving down so many time

Yeah

Life is always tough

On Bromford City

Oh lord

But she's fine, she always survives

Oh yeah

Let's sing for Bromford City

Oh Bromford City

Bromford City

Bromford

Bromford

Bromford

Bromford City

Hey Bromford City

Bromford

Bromford

Bromford

Longer Cookies ...

The time for deep thoughts is up.

We need more fortune cookies.

Let us all chose wisely.

I will take this one.

The fortune cookie says,

Even the things

that happen to you by chance

have a deeper meaning.

That is so deep. And I name you the word of the day, this Tuesday ...

DEEP.

Today is Tuesday, the 21st of April 2020.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 103

Today is Friday, the 17th of April 2020.

One quick hint for today's song ...

WUFF WUFF

or better in Klingon

RING RING

"Bromford"

Deep inside

My soul fights a war

I can't explain

I can't cross over any more

All I see are dirty faces

Rain and wire

And common sense in pieces

But I try to see through Irish eyes, Bromford

Look outside

Summer's lost and gone

It's a long walk

On a street of right and wrong

In every inch of sadness

Rock and tanks

Go hand in hand with madness

But I never saw a braver place, Bromford

And it's sad when they sing

And hollow ears listen

Of smokin black roses

On the streets of Bromford

And so say your lovers

From under the flowers

Every foot of this world

Needs an inch of Bromford

Who's to say

On whom Heaven smiles

Our different ways

We try harder to recognize

No more enchanted evenings

The pubs are closed

And all the ghosts are leaving

But you'll never let them shut you down,

Bromford

And it's sad when they sing

And hollow ears listen

Of smokin black roses

On the streets of Bromford

And so say your lovers

From under the flowers

Every foot of this world

Needs an inch of Bromford

The enemy is not at home

A jealous green

Streaks down this faulty diamond

No bloody boots or crucifix

Can ever hope to split this emerald island

But I never saw a braver place,

Bromford

Longer Scripts …

'Bromford, Bromford, please tell me a story. I am so bored.'

My telephone is ringing. Is that the llama on the line?

'What story?' I ask.

'I want to hear something about Caspar, the jester, and his best but not very intelligent bud Joey, his grandmother in the small town with the marketplace and the little grocery store, the policeman, Constable Simple Mooser, the king and his daughter, the princess, the huntsman and the big bad wolf and of course the crispy croquet crocodile. And Caspar should be using a big over-sized clapper or something like that to slap the crocodile or maybe the wolf who wants to eat his grandmother.'

'Well', I say. 'That is a very specific story-wish you have. Are you trapped in some kind of Punch of Judy show?'

'I am not', the llama says. 'But I think blog posts on Monday and Wednesday should be more like two-parters with stories beginning on Mondays and concluding on Wednesdays.'

'But life is not a t.v. show', I say. 'Life is something that is just happening to you.There is no script and no arc of action, no plot and no suspense.'

'But there should be', the llama sighs. 'I just need something to lighten up my life. HOMEBOLA is a strange word in these viral times, if you want my opinion. Delete the HOM and all that's left is EBOLA.'

'Well', I say, 'this phonecall escalated quickly.'

'Isoleaster is another one of these strange, new words. And during a total eclipse of the sun you can see the corona the best.'

'Llama?'

'Yes, Bromford?'

'Please climb out of this elevator shaft to lighten up you life.'

'There will be no punchline to this blog post, right, dude?'

'No', I say, 'but maybe a judyline.'

Today is Wednesday, the 15th of April 2020.

_ - _ 🤡🏏🐊 _ - _

Longer Lives …

'Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is risen.'

'What did you say, animal?'

'I don't know, dude! Do you have an idea why some countries need two holidays to celebrate Easter?'

'Never thought about that, llama.'

'Easter Monday. If we knew the Bible a little better we might be able to tell the world what Jesus did on Easter Monday, what the desciples did, what Mary Magdalene did and what Hemione did.'

'Who?'

'Saint Hermione of Ephesus.'

I am rolling my eyes very loudly.

'Hermoine of Ephesus is is a 2nd-century Christian martyr venerated by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches. She was the daughter of Saint Philip the Deacon. The Bible does not mention her name but says that Philip had four daughters. However, the Greek Menaion, an annual calendar preserving the memory of martyrs and saints does name her. In the Acts of the Apostles, Hermione and her sisters are called prophetess.'

'Did you pay your mobile bills, animal? Are you able to search the internet again?'

'Got me. But don't you think it's amazing how they - being the Pope and / or the Queen and / or all the other important people in the world - manage every year to schedule Easter Monday exactly on a Monday.'

Words, I say to myself, the llama is only using words.

'The second Christmas Holiday - some may call it Boxing Day but I think these someones are only boxing kangaroos - is also very well set, every year on the 26th of December. And all this although all of our appointment books are fuller than full.'

I turn on my flashlight and try to take a look at the animal inside or on top of the cabin down the elevator shaft.

'Everything alright down there, animal?'

'Everything will be alright, dude. Just give a sacrifice to Saint Hermione on my name day or her name day or your name day. But make it bloody and painfull.'

Today is Monday, the 13th of April 2020.

Longer Joys …

Lucy is angry, Linus, too. Charlie and Sally are singing on the balcony of their apartment or maybe the fire escape ladder platform of their storey. And Schroeder is playing Beethoven on the piano. Sounds like 'Ode to joy', the fourth movement of old Ludwig's Ninth Symphony.

'New neighbours?'

I have the llama on speakers of my mobile phone.

'I don't know', I say. 'Maybe they've been living here all the time but we never noticed.'

'Together alone together', the llama says. 'United in distance. I wish I could play an instrument to join them.'

'Really?'

'I wish I could sing to join the Everything will be alright choir.'

'Really? Really?'

'No, dude! Not really', the llama is shouting. 'I can hear that Lucy and Linus are fighting from down here. Charlie's and Sally's singing sounds like somebody kicked a cat. And Schroeder's piano so out of tune that I am getting all disgruntled. Ode to Joy? Pfffffff. Wish they made it an Ode to Koi - a song for carps, under water, with no sounds and words at all.'

'OK, calm down, animal', I say. 'Have a cookie!'

And I throw some double chocolate cookies down the elevator shaft.

'Isolation sucks!'

Nodding and chewing is all I can answer to that.

Today is Saturday, the 11th of April 2020.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 103

Today is Friday, the 10th of April 2020.

The Beatles are history since 1970 today.

I always feel a need to explain things…

… a) so that no-one misunderstands anything.

… b) to explain things that may not have any explaination at all.

Today I do not respect the order because I have discovered this one song that kind of fits today's circumstances - whatever that means. Today is Good Friday- whatever can be good on a Friday that marks the climax of the passion of this guy called Jesus of Nazareth - better known as Jesus Christ. My condolences, Jesus.

So I try to explain an order that is and has no order at all. Well done, Bromford. Well done.

"Simon Zealotes - Poor Bromford"

Christ you know I love you did you see I waved?
I believe in you and God so tell me that I'm saved
Christ you know I love you did you see I waved
I believe in you and God so tell me that I'm saved
Jesus I am with you touch me touch me Jesus
Jesus I am on your side kiss me kiss me Jesus

Christ, what more do you need to convince you

That you've made it and you're easily as strong

As the fifth from Rome who rape our country

And who've terrorized our people for so long?

Christ you know I love you did you see I waved?
I believe in you and God so tell me that I'm saved
Christ you know I love you did you see I waved
I believe in you and God so tell me that I'm saved
Jesus I am with you touch me touch me Jesus
Jesus I am on your side kiss me kiss me Jesus

There must be over fifty thousand

Screaming love and more for you

And everyone of fifty thousand

Would do whatever you ask him to

Keep them yelling their devotion

But add a touch of hate at Rome

You will rise to a greater power

We will win ourselves a home

You'll get the power and the glory

For ever and ever and ever

You'll get the power and the glory

For ever and ever and ever

You'll get the power and the glory

For ever and ever and ever

For ever and ever and ever

For ever and ever and ever

Amen! Amen!

Neither you Simon, nor the fifty thousand

Nor the Romans, nor the Jews,

Nor Judas nor the Twelve

Nor the priests, nor the scribes

Nor doomed Bromford itself

Understand what power is

Understand what glory is

Understand at all… Understand at all

If you knew all that I knew, my poor Bromford

You'd see the truth, but you'd close your eyes

But you'd close your eyes

While you live your troubles are many, poor Bromford

To conquer death you only have to die

You only have to die.

Longer Steals …

"Llama? Llama? Are you alright?"

No answer from down the elevator shaft. I haven't heard of the animal for quite some time now. I really hope it is alright and this virus out there does not affect the camel-likes.

"Llama?"

One last try, but the only sound from down there is the echo of dripping water like from some deep, dark cave.

I am looking at my watch thinking about getting my phone to call the janitor who is not our concierge or vice versa, an ambulance or maybe the police. Or should I call the fire brigade or maybe the dog catcher?

All of a sudden I hear a loud clanging from the shaft not like the elevator cabin is falling further down the shaft more like the sound of metallic cooking pots and their lids.

"Llama?"

The very last try.

"Go away, you viral human!" The animal shouts. "Keep the distance!"

"What is going on down there?" I ask. "I was worried, you know."

"You don't need to worry!"

Sounds like the animal is chewing and eating something. More clanking of dishes.

"What are you eating, animal? I can hear your smacking and slurping."

"You got me."

The llama sounds like it is frowning.

"Did you know that Speedy returned to the basemant of Whitaker Lane number 666 and re-opened his Sandwich Bar & Café?"

"No", I say, "I am in self-isolation and haven't left the penthouse for weeks, you know?"

"Bad timing that little, mousy guy has, if you want my opinion", the animal says, "Opening his restaurant just hours before the virus crisis closes each and every restaurant in the country."

"Oh", is all I can reply.

"But", three letters accompanied by a diabolic giggling, "I found a secret passway from the bottom of the elevator shaft to Speedy's storage room next to the bar's kitchen."

"WHAAAT?"

"I've been eating salads and pasta and sandwich bread for weeks now. I am so fed up and stuffed I can hardly pass the narrow secret tunnel anymore."

"Glad to hear that you are not starving down there, animal", I shout. "But don't you think that Speedy might not be too happy about you stealing his food stocks? Don't you think that he might want to start a delivery service now that he cannot open his bar and café on a daily basis?"

"Delivery service?!" The animal sounds like having some kind of enlightment. "That's why Speedy is hanging around in his kitchen all this time. Could you throw your smartphone down here?"

"Why?" I want to know.

"I haven't paid the bills for my mobile lately and I want to call Speedy to order more pasta!"

I just shake my head.

"I am glad you are alright, animal. Keep the distance and stay healthy and clean."

Today is Sunday, the 5th of April 2020.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 102

Today is Friday, the 3rd of April 2020.
This World needs a Resurrection. But it is not time for Easter yet.

Do you believe in miracles?

"Bromford"

Ah, they said - Time has wheeled on at last...
A song of old a breath away from the past...

One alone - one whose heart was for all.
Ah, they said, one who'd come for us all...

One of the spirits who danced from beyond the pale world
A breath of the Godhead in Man, sweet sunlight in turn
A child of the propeths, born 'neath a wandering star,
Honoured with gold and light from the Wise Men afar...


Ah, they said - Time has wheeled on at last...
A song of old a breath away from the past...

One alone - one whose heart was for all.
Ah, they said, one who'd come for us all...

With Orphean eyes he cries and he bleeds in his sleep
His future, his present, his past, they all churn in the deep
This Prophet of many this light with the Elder that's grown
Leaves Bromford haunted and warring to face the unknown.

With Orphean eyes he cries and he bleeds in his sleep
His future, his present, his past, they all churn in the deep
This Prophet of many this light with the Elder that's grown
Leaves Bromford haunted and warring to face the unknown.

With Orphean eyes he cries and he bleeds in his sleep
His future, his present, his past, they all churn in the deep
This Prophet of many this light with the Elder grown
Leaves Bromford haunted and warring to face the unknown.