Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 93

Today is Friday, the 31st of January 2020.

The first day of Spring. Snowdrops blooming everywhere. Everywhere.

And Snowdrops are no drops made of snow... D'AH !!!

😲

"The Bromford Grand Jury"

There ain’t no more favors to ask
There ain’t no petitions to pass
It’s all in the hands
It’s all in the hands
Of the Bromford Grand Jury now

More crooked sons of bitches you can’t ever have come across
Make sure that they notarized my will
Make sure Mom don’t look at the news
We already know
There ain’t no suspense
That the Bromford Grand Jury strings me up

More crooked sons of bitches you can’t ever have come across

Make sure that they notarized my will
Make sure Mom don’t look at the noose
We already know
There ain’t no suspense
That the Bromford Grand Jury strings me up

More crooked sons of bitches you can’t ever have come across
More crooked sons of bitches you can’t ever have come across

Longer Hair …

is

EXTENSIONS !!!

And the fortune cookie says,

Stop doubting!

Today is Wednesday, the 29th of January 2020

*

*

*

Longer Colours …

Caution!

The use of Indigo coloured yarn as well as the complex washing process gives garment a unique look.

It is possible that the colour may bleed into other pieces of clothing and textiles.

Don't expose to direct strong light, as the colour intensity may fade with the time.

And the fortune cookie says,

Don't take another person's decision.

Today is Monday, the 27th of January 2020.

*

*

*

Longer Rests …

*

'Mario, the janitor, did not come to cut me free, did he?' the llama asks.

I am sitting on the hallway floor leaning against the wall next to the still open elevator doors. I am tossing tangerines - remnants of the Christmas holidays - down the elevator shaft.

'No', I say. 'And Luigi, the concierge, did not fix the elevator, either.'

'Whatever', the llama says. 'Back to that Saturday you forgot to post a new blockblog post.'

Shaking my head I am making a face.

'What did you do last Saturday?'

'I was watching a movie.'

'Without me?'

'Answer that for yourself', I mumble. 'Come out of that elevator shaft I would not be forced to watch another movie without you.'

'Which movie was it?' the llama asks.

'A Star Is Born', I say.

'That happens from time to time', the llama says. 'But which movie did you watch?'

I am rolling my eyes.

'Jackson met Ally. Ally wrote a song. Jackson stole that song and sang it with Ally on stage. Ally became a star. They got married. Jackson died. End of movie.'

'Dude!' The llama gets very angry now. 'Did you just spoil that movie with Lady Gigi for me?'

I am shrugging my shoulders standing up from the floor with a deep gruntlike sigh.

'Come out of that shaft and I would not have to spoiler movies for you. And it is not Lady Gigi. It is Lady Gugu!'

'Gaga, you are gaga, dude!'

The fortune cookie says,

Do not let others divert you from your path.

and

Today is Saturday, the 25th of January 2020.

*

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 92

Today is Friday, the 24th of January 2020.

Alphabetically Friday is the first day of the week.

Good Evening ...

"Bromford Harbor Blues"

As I try to fill all of my empty days

I stumble round on through my memory's maze

Of all my past, only the sadness stays

I was moping down by the bridge

I rode a bike in the snow to the mini-mart

I thought of the ways that I've broke my own heart

It's not for me to fill the blue sea with tears

But when I think back on all the wasted years

All the good cheer and all of the charm disappears

I wore the exact same clothes for five days

The bailbondsman gave me a smile

I was just thinking of only my sins all the while

As I try to fill all of my empty days

I stumble round on through my memory's maze

Of all my past, only the sadness stays

*

*

Longer Baths …

It's Saturday night. It feels like a Sunday in some way.

'It is Sunday, Bromford Bibble!' the llama shouts up from the elevator shaft. 'What did you do yesterday? Why did you forget the blog post?'

The llama is taking a bath on the roof of the elevator cabin deep down in the apartment building of 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford, the friendly town by the shore and seaside. What kind of bath it is I don't. It can hardly be a sunbath down there in the dark, can it?

'Bromford, you dimple! There is always a light at the end of every tunnel. Or better a light at the end of this shaft. Or is it the beginning of this shaft?'

Is the animal reading my mind again?

'Of course I am taking a sunbath, human!' the llama shouts. 'Look up, Bromford Bibble! Look up! There is a glass ceiling and roof on top of the elevator shaft. I wish you could see and feel the sunbeams tickle and warm my fantastic brown fur. Makes it shiney and smooth.'

The even-toed ungulate must be kidding me. Even if there was a a glass roof on this shaft no sunbeam would have been so strong as to reach that far down. And it was still - well a very warm one - but still a grey Sunday winter noon with a very cloudy sky. No sun at the moment.

'You know what, animal?' I shout from my armchair in the living from with a cup of green tea in one hand. 'I am so very glad that Mario or Luigi our janitor or concierge will come tomorrow and cut you out of there!'

'Darn it, Dimple-Bibble!'

Today is Sunday, the 19th of January 2020.

*

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 91

Today is Friday, the 17th of January 2020.

A year of uncertainty and deep, dark elevator shafts.

'Lifts', the llama shouts, 'I prefer to call them lifts instead of elevators.'

'Shut up!' I shout back from the kitchen. 'And close the elevator doors! You are sending up cold drafts from the basement!'

"Planet Of Bromford"

Standin' on the corner

Of Toulouse and Dauphine

Waitin' on Marie-Ondine

I'm tryin' to place a tune

Under a Louisiana moonbeam

On the planet of Bromford

In a bar they call The Saturn

And in her eyes of green

And somethin' that she said in a dream

Inside of my suit I got my mojo root

And a true love figurine

For the planet of Bromford

Bromford - the other planet

With other life upon it

And everythin' that's shakin' in between

If you should ever land upon it

You better know what's on it

The planet of Bromford

Now I'm tryin' to find my way

Through the rain and the steam

I'm lookin' straight ahead through the screen

And then I heard her say

Somethin' in the limousine

'Bout takin' a ride across the planet of Bromford

If she was an ace

And I was just a jack

And the cards were never seen

We could have been the king and queen

But she took me on back to her courtyard

Where magnolia perfume screams

Behind the gates and the granite

Of the planet of Bromford

Bromford - the other planet

With other life upon it

And everythin' that's shakin' in between

If you should ever land upon it

You better know what's on it

The planet of Bromford

With other life upon it

And everythin' that's shakin' in between

If you should ever land upon it

You better know what's on it

The planet of Bromford

The planet of Bromford

*

Longer Ways …

'The last time I was in this penthouse', says Mario or Luigi our janitor who likes to be called our concierge, 'was when your brother Brimstone was searching for you, Mr Bibble.'

'There is no such thing as a brother Brimstone', the llama shouts from the roof of the cabin down in the elevator shaft.

'And that is the llama?' Mario or Luigi is pointing down in the dark.

I am just nodding.

'Come on, animal', I am calling out. 'This is really ridiculious. You have been down there for five days now since Tuesday. Why don't you just climb up the shaft the same way you climbed it down the last time?'

'Longer arms', the animals sighs, 'Don't you remember? We need longer arms.'

'Well', I say, 'I brought the janitor with me.'

'Concierge', the janitor Mario or Luigi says, 'and you still remember that the elevator is still broken, don't you?'

'I do not trust no janitors', the llama shouts.

'I do not trust no concierges either', the janitor or concierge Mario or Luigi also shouts.

But in a quieter tone he says to me, 'We could tie it up in a thick robe and pull it up here inch by inch, you know.'

'I have got good ear-sight, you know, you humans.' The lama is not amused. 'And the correct word is rope and not robe. In fact I am already wearing my robes and they look quite fancy, if you want my opinion. But let me read todays fortune cookie for you first.

The fortune cookie says,

The similarities with a friend are more important than the differences.'

'Oh, my goodness', I say. 'It has got food down there.'

'And it cracked the water pipe', Mario or Luigi says, 'so it also has got… well… water. But what is it using as toilet?'

'You do not want to know that, humans!' the llama is shouting up from down the shaft in a most diabolic way.

'In a longer way, but that is just my opinion.'

Today is Sunday, the 12th of January 2020.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 90

Today is Friday, the 10th of January 2020.

BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE ...

"Bromford Woman"

Well, I just got into town about an hour ago
Took a look around, see which way the wind blow
Where the little girls in their Hollywood bungalows

Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light
Or just another lost angel?
City of Night, City of Night
City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon

Bromford woman, Bromford woman
Bromford woman, Sunday afternoon
Bromford woman, Sunday afternoon
Bromford woman, Sunday afternoon

Drive through your suburbs
Into your blues, into your blues, yeah
Into your blue-blue blues
Into your blues, oh, yeah

I see your hair is burnin'
Hills are filled with fire
If they say I never loved you
You know they are a liar

Drivin' down your freeway
Midnight alleys roam
Cops in cars
The topless bars
Never saw a woman so alone, so alone
So alone, so alone

Motel, money, murder, madness
Let's change the mood from glad to sadness

Mr. Mojo Risin', Mr. Mojo Risin'
Mr. Mojo Risin', Mr. Mojo Risin'
Got to keep on risin'
Mr. Mojo Risin', Mr. Mojo Risin'
Mojo Risin', gotta Mojo Risin'
Mr. Mojo Risin', gotta keep on risin'
Risin', risin'
Gone risin', risin'
I'm gone risin', risin'
I gotta risin', risin'
Well, risin', risin'
I gotta, woo, yeah, risin'
Whoa, oh, yeah

Well, I just got into town about an hour ago
Took a look around, see which way the wind blow
Where the little girls in their Hollywood bungalows

Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light
Or just another lost angel?
City of Night, City of Night
City of Night, City of Night, whoa, c'mon

Bromford woman, Bromford woman
Bromford woman, you're my woman
Little Bromford woman, little Bromford woman
Bromford, Bromford woman woman
Bromford woman, c'mon

Longer Arms …

Longer boats are coming to win us

They're coming to win us, they're coming to win us

Longer boats are coming to win us

Hold on to the shore, they'll be taking the key from the door.

Some Cat is singing in my head as I am striding down the hallway of my penthouse above the 15th storey of the apartment building on 666 Whitaker Lane in Bromford the friendly town by the shore and seaside.

The elevator doors are open. Isn't the elevator still broken, I wonder.

As I approach the elevator shaft I can hear and see somebody fumble with the elevator steel ropes somewhere in the deep.

I crawl near the edge trying to see something in the dark.

'Is someone down there?' I shout.

'Of course there is somebody down here. What a stupid question!'

It's the llama. Who else can it be?

'What are you dowing down there, animal?' I ask.

'I am trying to paint the ceiling, can't you see, you silly hedgepig?'

'Hog', I correct the animal.

'WHAAAT?'

'The correct word is hedgehog not hedgepig.'

'Hog, pig, that's all the same', the animal says. 'Help me out of here you, you bungeling porcupine!'

'I cannot see you', I say, 'therefor I cannot reach you. And stop calling me animal names, animal.'

'Longer arms!' the llama shouts out. 'We need longer arms.'

'OK', I say. 'I'll try calling the janitor.'

'Concierge', the llama says, 'Call Mario or Luigi our concierge not our janitor. He likes that.'

Whatever, I think.

'But let me read your fortune cookie for today first. The fortune cookie says,

We need longer arms.'

'BROMFORD !!!'

I am bursting out laughing.

'No, to be honest, the fortune cookie says,

Has the time come yet?'

Today is Tuesday, the 7th of January 2020.

Two-thousand-eighteen Shades Of Bromford - Part 89

Today is Friday, the 3rd of January 2020.

A rainy Friday afternoon with not much to do.

And now a song that gives me a headache...

"Bromford City"

Came a card marked Bromford City

From my forwarder.

Shut the door, don't let my dad see;

Read aloud

Dear sir,

Understanding you account an upright gent-

lemen Aetna Life agreed and lent.

By the way, my fee is 2.6 percent.

Write again the Riceville widow

SASE.

I would guess they'll be turned out though

I'll still make my plea:

If the Dunlay heirs cannot be seen to care,

Then the Banker's Trust will surely think it fair

To not give extensions, as they mustn't dare.

Write Des Moines on several matters

And I near anoint,

Ladle thick the pleasant flatters,

And then comes the point;

Mr. Nelson wouldn't like to hear it said

As he's too proud, so I do it in his stead:

He shall need an extension--so it read.

--Take the Oregon Short Line to Salt Lake;

take the Pere Marquette, take the Michigan Central,

to West Madison for Christ's sake.

Forgemen, Molders, Blacksmiths, Boilermakers,

None on the make.

Up for shade on Crumb Hill

Get something to make my hands still.

But now--Wait.

How are you my nabs?

Little tender footed crabs,

Meet my knuckle duster.

You geeched that gazoon's gow

Tried to break into the bow:

Go wipe your nose.

I'm just hanging out with some noler knockums,

Passing time waiting till my stack comes.

Prussian who got jackered,

My snapper till your knockered,

Get on the snam.

The chivman wants your chip;

Better dummy up then go dip:

You're outta turn.

I learned that the lowest form of life is the buffer nabber,

Even worse than the dicer stabber.

Longer Boats ...

Longer boats, said Emperor William, the third, we need longer boats, while trying to conquer France coming from Lake Constance and the river Rhine. Let's raise our glasses and do it like William, the third. Let's conquer the year 2020 like the Emperor once conquered La France.

What a strange toast, I think. But I can see Kylie and her son Nigel raise their champagne glasses, both with very awkward smiles. Ok, let's clink glasses, I think.

No, No, NO, the llama says. You are getting it all wrong. Not those glasses. I hate that bubbling beverage. Take off those glasses from your noses and raise them to the ceiling.

Stop being ridiculous, animal, I say. I do not even wear glasses.

OK. The animal is leaning over to my ear. It was just a test. I am quite shure that those two human performers over there do not exist. There are too many strangers in this penthouse if you want my opinion.

I grab the llama's neck and start tousling and ruffling its' head hair.

Come on, pal, I say, don't be like that. I wish you a happy new year and many more to come.

I am just being cautious, the llama says drinking the champagne in one big sip. Just being cautious.

And the fortune cookie says,

A strange experience enriches you life.

Today is Wednesday, the 1st of January 2020.